He only wants sex

LegacyUser

I'm in a relationship a few months and the honeymoon period is over.
We do have "dates", go for dinner, drinks, cinema etc but lately whenever we're just hanging out in his place all he seems to want is sex. This is starting to bug me big time. I love sex as much as the next girl, but its got to the point where we can't even sit and watch tv without him getting frisky. This came to a head last night. We're both working long hours and had gone out over the weekend-he stayed in mine and naturally, the evening took its natural course-the sex is lovely and I really enjoy it. As I knew I couldn't meet him this weekend, I said I'd go over to his to watch tv and just hang out. That is what I told him, lets just hang out and relax together. As soon as his flatmate was gone, the hands started wandering and he starts making moves towards the bedroom. I said something like "ah now, we've all evening, lets just hang out here (in sitting room) for a while". He went into a huff and I ended up feeling like a fr"gid women, which I'm not. I mean, just because we're having sex doesn't mean he should expect it every single time we meet up, does it? Surely we should be able to just hang out without hopping into the sack within ten minutes?

mad m

Look there will be a stage when he wont want it and you will begin to wonder whats up.....

Oryx

There's nothing wrong with his attitude towards sex. There's nothing wrong with your attitude towards sex. The only problem right now, is that these attitudes don't match. And if you either put out for him when he wants it, or don't and offend him, its going to end badly. You'll resent him, or he will resent you.

So the key is to talk to him about it. And make sure he is listening. Tell him you like sexytime, but that you want soppy slob out and cuddle time too. I'd hope that once you both start to communicate about it, you'll reach an amicable understanding on whens a good time to jump ya, and when isnt. Its just teething problems that all couples go through, when you get used to each other, and boundaries shift. Its normal. And quite nice that he fancies ya rotten like that, remember?

nesbitt

unreglass wrote: »

We do have "dates", go for dinner, drinks, cinema etc but lately whenever we're just hanging out in his place all he seems to want is sex. This is starting to bug me big time.

I don't think ALL he wants is sex, and Im guessing that the honeymoon period is not over for him. Perhaps your tiredness levels leaves you less interested in sex at different times. As you said you really enjoy yourself when you are in the mood etc.

What I am more concerned about is his reaction to you 'just wanting to hang out etc'. Try and have a chat about it but tread carefully.

Ah sure it is always a famine or a feast....:)

G-Money

I don't really see this as much of a problem if I'm honest. As someone who's not been around the block very much myself, I know if I were to start seeing a girl, I would definitely be thinking about sex a lot. It's not a case that it's all I'm after, but just because I've had so little of it, it would all be new to me and I'd be wanting to experience it as much as possible.

Maybe it's the same with your bf. Maybe it's been a while and he's rediscovering himself and that side of things. Maybe he's just horny all the time and finds you hot.

Would you rather be posting on here saying "My bf doesn't want sex" ? I doubt it. But I know you are thinking "but it would be nice if he'd just want it not as much so we could do other stuff". Well say that to him. Lots of women complain about their partners behaviour and how something they do annoyies them so much. Well you have a mouth, so use it and talk to him. It's not fair to expect him to be a mind reader.

LegacyUser

I remeber when my boyfriend used to be like that, I loved it.
Don't think of it as a bad thing, he wants you! He doesn't just want sex he just obviously really enjoys it with you!

There'll come a time when the honey moon period wares off and he won't go on like that anymore and you'll miss it. Guaranteed!!

Enjoy it while it lasts

How Strange

Give the lad a break, he finds you irresitable and he can't keep his hands off you.

You both have different drives so perhaps you need to have a chat about it. If it bugs you that much you should definitely talk about it but not in a 'there is something wrong with you' sort of way.

Believe me, the time will come when you'll both be very content to sit infront of the tv every evening after work and do nothing but watch whatever is on.

LegacyUser

The previous posts are correct about his attitude to wanting sex a lot not being a problem, but if he went into a huff because he didn't get it, that's a problem, he doesn't respect your right not to want sex all the time.

unreglass wrote: »

He went into a huff and I ended up feeling like a fr"gid women, which I'm not. I mean, just because we're having sex doesn't mean he should expect it every single time we meet up, does it? Surely we should be able to just hang out without hopping into the sack within ten minutes?

Taltos

fdgdfgsdf wrote: »

The previous posts are correct about his attitude to wanting sex a lot not being a problem, but if he went into a huff because he didn't get it, that's a problem, he doesn't respect your right not to want sex all the time.

Not sure if I would class this as a problem - but maybe something to talk about if it happens again to nip it in the bud so that it does not become a problem...

DontYaThink

I don't think him going into a huff is an issue. I think he was just feeling a little rejected is all! Don't be so hard on him

Mr. Incognito

why don't you go do something that doesn't involve sex like go to a gig or the movies or take a weekend away somewhere nice.

If my missus knocked over to my house and put the breakers on I wouldn't be too happy unless there was a very good reason for it.

MissMotivated

Hi OP
Just because ye are still in the honeymoon period etc.. doesn't mean ye have to have sex every time ye meet. Talk to him about it and explain to him how you feel. I don't buy this thing of making him feel rejected if you don't want to have sex or that you should be grateful that he wants to have sex with you!! For god sake it's not all about him!
I used to think the same about my OH, he would get all cuddly and touchy if he wanted sex and if i said no he'd just shrug me off and walk away!! I just explained to him how when he acted like that it made me want to have sex even less!!
Sex in a new relationship is always plentiful but it doesn't have to be the only thing ye do when ye meet indoors!

Amtmann

This sounds like desire discrepancy. It's very common. Follow this link, read it, and talk to your boyfriend about it in an understanding way.