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Being adopted and Fitting in

  • 01-10-2009 12:21pm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 41

    Hi Folks,

    Just thinking about myself and how important it is for me to fit in somewhere, whether it is with a group of friends, or where I am living, or in my job. I love that feeling of not sticking out like a sore thumb.

    It's such an important thing to me. Not that I want to be just like everyone else. I don't like being the centre of attention but I'm not a shy person at all.

    Has anyone else found that and maybe linked it to them being adopted?
    I wonder sometimes do I blame being adopted for things in my life that may have not been any different if not adopted?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1 836 BC

    A lot of adoptees describe feeling the way you do and many also agree with you on the possible root cause of it. Studies have been done on this and books have been written but not many. Nancy Verrier's book The Primal Wound is quite popular with adoptees as it eloquates many of the feelings they always had but weren't able to relate to others and theorizes that the trauma of separation from the mother causes a kind of post-traumatic stress disorder which leaves the child in quite a different situation of emotional development than others.

    Her website says a bit more.