Redundancy, feeling blue, relationship

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,

I'm hoping somebody might be able to help me out with some advice.. There is a couple of issues really but they are all linked.

I'm being made redundant in a weeks time. I've been searching for jobs and done a couple of interviews but haven't gotten anything yet. I'm really down about it, feel useless, worried about how I will manage financially (no payment as not in my job 2 years yet). Some days I'm fine other days I just feel like crying and I'm really bad company. My poor bf has to put up with me and I'm afraid he is just going to get sick of it.

I'm feeling really insecure about everything, things not even job related. It's not like me at all but the past few weeks just everything bothers me. I've gotten this thing into my head about my bf's ex. (been over for years) I keep looking at her pics on fb & bebo and trying to work out if she's prettier/sexier than me and looking through ancient posts they left each other when they were together to find out if they were closer/happier etc than we are. I'm also feeling kind of jealous about his friends and how I think he is having a better time with them than me. Sometimes when I call over they are sitting around having a laugh n stuff and I just feel like a spare part, normally I'd just join in but it's like I've nothing in common or can't think of anything to talk about with them. He knows nothing about this.

I feel like he wants to/should spend more time with his friends. I've been trying to give him space n stuff to spend time with them. He just seems to think that I don't want to spend time with him because I'd prefer to be on my own wallowing. In a way I don't want to be around him when I'm down because I don't want to drag him down with me.

I'm just so worried that these things are taking there toll on our relationship and I know I need to snap out of it but I just can't seem to.

squonk

Ah you poor thing . First off what you are feeling is fairly normal for someone in your situation. Your world is pulled out from under you and with no redundancy coming as well it's a very tough position to be in. There's nothing wrong with you feeling down in the dumps and lacking in self-esteem and confidence. Let me tell you it's very natural in your situation.

Now, have you had a chat with your boyfriend? How long are you going out? He needs to know hwo you are feeling. If he's neve been through redundancy he may not grasp the situation fully. Believe me though, a hug and even a smile would help you a lot. You'll have bad days and slightly better days. He needs to be there to give you some reassurance. Try and tell him what you are going through.

Don't mind about the ex. He's with you and that's the main thing. If you let him know how you are feeling he will feel more involved. Don't bottle it up. Im sure you're only imagining that he wants to spend more time with his friends. It's a very hard thing to act jokey and witty when you're in turmoil but do make the effort, even for yourself to make you feel better.

More importantly, you are not the first to face redundancy. You WILL get through it and out the other side. You just need a bit more support for a while now. that's not being unreasonable, it's just sensible!

Best of luck!

LegacyUser

hey OP,

my Bf was laid off few months ago and after a few weeks thinks seriously started going pear shaped with us,, he would constantly argue with me over the tinyest, stupidest things that no one in the world would think of arguing about,, then he got drunk and broke up with me, i thought his behaviour lately was because of him loosing interest in me, so i just accepted it and went around for several days crying wondering where we went wrong,,,

until he txt and we met up and explained all he had on his plate since he was laid off and how he was feeling after it,, knows his behavious was awful and took everything out on me but seriously regretted it..

this is why i really think you should tell your bf how you feel, at least he can try and help you or be supportive,, my bf seemed to be happy as larry with everyone else and take it out on me, and thats why i thought the problem was "us".. talk to him, let him know what you thinking and how your feeling,, and dont worry too much you WILL find a job especially if your as persistant as you seem,,

best of luck