One goes to heaven, one goes to hell

elekid

If one half of a married couple is a "good" person who lives a decent, charitable life and is extremely devoted to God, and the other half is a "bad" person who commits many sins without repenting and actively rejects God, how can the "good" person be truly happy in heaven knowing that the person they love is suffering forever in hell? Admittedly they'd make an odd couple so to put it another way: if at least one person you care about ended up in hell while you went to heaven, how could you truly be happy?

I'd be interested to see what the views of the christians here are on this. I'm not looking to start a big arguement or cause offense, I'm just curious how believers are able to reconcile this notion as it's something I've always wondered about.

PDN

Jesus said that in heaven there will be no marriage.

I would interpret that as meaning that there will be a bond of love among everybody there, rather than exclusive relationships where you love one person much more than all others.

So, it may well be that as we spend zillions of years with other saved people that we won't shed tears over a person we lived with for thirty years or so.

dvpower

PDN wrote: »

So, it may well be that as we spend zillions of years with other saved people that we won't shed tears over a person we lived with for thirty years or so.

That's a bit depressing, PDN. Time heals for sure, but wouldn't one shed a tear for some period of time in heaven, or is it so good that you can instantly forget about those close to you who are doomed?
Or is it that one fully accepts God's will to the extent that one agrees that they ought to be doomed and feel no remorse for them?

seamus

I posed that question here before and answer was that they believe the nature of going to heaven is such that you will automatically be filled with the knowledge to understand why your partner is not with you and you will transcend this paltry emotion you call "love" and experience and entirely higher plane of co-existence with the rest of the population of heaven (and God).

PDN

dvpower wrote: »

That's a bit depressing, PDN. Time heals for sure, but wouldn't one shed a tear for some period of time in heaven, or is it so good that you can instantly forget about those close to you who are doomed?

You could say that it's more depressing that we get so emotionally involved with those we are close to, yet most of us don't give a toss about the thousands who die violent deaths in the Congo each month.

dvpower

PDN wrote: »

You could say that it's more depressing that we get so emotionally involved with those we are close to, yet most of us don't give a toss about the thousands who die violent deaths in the Congo each month.

Now I'm even more depressed!

Anyway, we wouldn't be able to function if we were to take on all of the the pain of the world; we're just not 'designed' for it.

Soul Winner

Ehem! May I?

Hopefully this will cut a swath through the depression on this thread.

Paul makes it very clear that if a non believer is happy to be married to a believer then the non believer will be sanctified by the believer. If the believer is the woman then the man will be sanctified through her and vice versa. See below:

"But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches." 1 Corinthians 7:12-17

Also, I believe that all believer's families will make it in once the believer keeps faith right till the end. Read what Paul says to the prison guard as he was about to kill himself because the earthquake opened the cells of the prison allowing (as he thought) all the prisoners to escape:

"About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody's chains came loose. The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. But Paul shouted, "Don't harm yourself! We are all here!"
The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. He then brought them out and asked, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household." Act 16:25-31

This should put pay to the idea that we will not see our loved ones in heaven. The thing is though, we (the called) must keep faith right till the end and be found faithful to our callings in His presences. It will be through us then that our unbelieving family members will be saved. Praise God!

antiskeptic

elekid wrote: »

If one half of a married couple is a "good" person who lives a decent, charitable life and is extremely devoted to God, and the other half is a "bad" person who commits many sins without repenting and actively rejects God, how can the "good" person be truly happy in heaven knowing that the person they love is suffering forever in hell? Admittedly they'd make an odd couple so to put it another way: if at least one person you care about ended up in hell while you went to heaven, how could you truly be happy?

I'd be interested to see what the views of the christians here are on this. I'm not looking to start a big arguement or cause offense, I'm just curious how believers are able to reconcile this notion as it's something I've always wondered about.

a) An aside: the basis for going to heaven isn't that you are a "good person who lives a decent, charitable life". All have sinned and are, from God's perspective, rotten to the core.

b) The indications are that that which makes a person attractive and worthwhile is the fact that they have been made in the image and likeness of God. It's his characteristics shining in us that are attractive. The other indications are that the person who enters Hell will have those qualities removed from them. All that will remain of them is their ugly side: selfishness, meaness, spitefulness, wickedness.

Who'd miss such a one? Who'd recognise such a one to miss them?

hairyheretic

PDN wrote: »

You could say that it's more depressing that we get so emotionally involved with those we are close to, yet most of us don't give a toss about the thousands who die violent deaths in the Congo each month.

That's human nature though. We know that one person, we don't know the thousands. Their plight is abstract to us, whereas what we feel for the one person is real and personal.

dvpower

Soul Winner wrote: »

Ehem! May I?

Hopefully this will cut a swath through the depression on this thread.

Paul makes it very clear that if a non believer is happy to be married to a believer then the non believer will be sanctified by the believer. If the believer is the woman then the man will be sanctified through her and vice versa.

Wahoo!

Pascal didn't think of that. Now all I need to do is persuade my wife to start going to church again.:)

wolfsbane

Soul Winner wrote: »

Ehem! May I?

Hopefully this will cut a swath through the depression on this thread.

Paul makes it very clear that if a non believer is happy to be married to a believer then the non believer will be sanctified by the believer. If the believer is the woman then the man will be sanctified through her and vice versa. See below:

"But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches." 1 Corinthians 7:12-17

Also, I believe that all believer's families will make it in once the believer keeps faith right till the end. Read what Paul says to the prison guard as he was about to kill himself because the earthquake opened the cells of the prison allowing (as he thought) all the prisoners to escape:

"About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody's chains came loose. The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. But Paul shouted, "Don't harm yourself! We are all here!"
The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. He then brought them out and asked, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?" They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household." Act 16:25-31

This should put pay to the idea that we will not see our loved ones in heaven. The thing is though, we (the called) must keep faith right till the end and be found faithful to our callings in His presences. It will be through us then that our unbelieving family members will be saved. Praise God!

That's not the case. A closer reading of the narratives about household salvation show that the gospel was preached to them all. All who believed were saved:
Acts 10:43 To Him all the prophets witness that, through His name, whoever believes in Him will receive remission of sins.”
44 While Peter was still speaking these words, the Holy Spirit fell upon all those who heard the word.

Acts 16:30 And he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”
31 So they said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.” 32 Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house.

As to the spouse being sanctified, that is not the same as saved in that context. The relationship is validated by the believer's presence - but the unbeliever still needs to be saved:
1 Corinthians 7:12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

1 Peter 3:1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.


The sad fact is that many whom we love will end their days hating God and perish eternally:
Mark 13:12 Now brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death. 13 And you will be hated by all for My name’s sake. But he who endures to the end shall be saved.

postcynical

I agree with Wolfsbane.

Heard a nice story there recently - discussing heaven in school, a priest was asked by a child if the child's dog would go to heaven. Rather than give a cruel truth, the inspired answer was "If the dog is necessary for your eternal happiness then you will be together in Heaven."

(no association by juxtaposition intended!)

Soul Winner

Let's leave off the muggy area of family salvation by proxy for the time being and just focus on that of the spouses.

wolfsbane wrote: »

As to the spouse being sanctified, that is not the same as saved in that context. The relationship is validated by the believer's presence - but the unbeliever still needs to be saved:
1 Corinthians 7:12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

If it was true that through the believer his/her unbelieving spouse could be sanctified and not saved, then why would Paul even bother to ask the question about whether a wife or husband might save their spouse? It doesn't make any sense that he would even ask such a question if sanctification was a separate happening to salvation. We don't get fully sanctified until we are over there and only the saved get over there. Sanctification happens in full over there where this corruptible puts on incorruptibility. So if a believing husband can sanctify his wife, then it logically follows that it was through them that they were saved, otherwise Paul wouldn't have asked the question: "For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?" That question is pregnant with the presupposition that it is possible, and that possibility is outlined earlier in the passage in question: "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband;" they are one and the same thing.

PDN

Soul Winner wrote: »

Let's leave off the muggy area of family salvation by proxy for the time being and just focus on that of the spouses.



If it was true that through the believer his/her unbelieving spouse could be sanctified and not saved, then why would Paul even bother to ask the question about whether a wife or husband might save their spouse? It doesn't make any sense that he would even ask such a question if sanctification was a separate happening to salvation. We don't get fully sanctified until we are over there and only the saved get over there. Sanctification happens in full over there where this corruptible puts on incorruptibility. So if a believing husband can sanctify his wife, then it logically follows that it was through them that they were saved, otherwise Paul wouldn't have asked the question: "For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?" That question is pregnant with the presupposition that it is possible, and that possibility is outlined earlier in the passage in question: "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband;" they are one and the same thing.

You are thoroughly misunderstanding what Paul is saying there.

When you read it in context you can see that the Corinthians were falling into some errors and misunderstandings concerning marriage. Some were witholding sex from their partners in the mistaken belief that such abstinence was more holy. Others, who were married to unbelievers, were thinking maybe thet should leave their unsaved partners. After all, they reasoned, wouldn't the children of such a union be unholy?

Paul is explaining that the marriage bed is something sacred and ordained by God. So, even if one partner is not a Christian, their believing partner will 'sanctify' them so that they can still enjoy a fruitful and blessed union, and the children can still grow up knowing the blessings of God on their home.

Of course it will be much better if they can lead their unbelieving spouse to faith in Christ.

Soul Winner

PDN wrote: »

You are thoroughly misunderstanding what Paul is saying there.

When you read it in context you can see that the Corinthians were falling into some errors and misunderstandings concerning marriage. Some were witholding sex from their partners in the mistaken belief that such abstinence was more holy. Others, who were married to unbelievers, were thinking maybe thet should leave their unsaved partners. After all, they reasoned, wouldn't the children of such a union be unholy?

Paul is explaining that the marriage bed is something sacred and ordained by God. So, even if one partner is not a Christian, their believing partner will 'sanctify' them so that they can still enjoy a fruitful and blessed union, and the children can still grow up knowing the blessings of God on their home.

Of course it will be much better if they can lead their unbelieving spouse to faith in Christ.

I have no problem with that interpretation at all and I think you are right in what you have pointed out but the verse in question also includes the possibility of a believing husband saving an unbelieving wife and a believing wife saving an unbelieving husband etc, which encompasses a layer of doctrine in the text which I admit on face value is not 100% obvious. I believe that Paul believed that an unbelieving wife could be saved through her believing husband but that the wife must remain with the husband and that the husband must remain faithful to his Lord till the end. Hence the question: "How do you know oh husband if you will save your wife?.." Which is another way of saying, don't be worrying about your wife's salvation, rather make sure that you make it in first and that you can keep her with you in the doing, but if she wants to depart then you are not beholden to her. That’s how I interpret the text.

chozometroid

Soul Winner wrote: »

I have no problem with that interpretation at all and I think you are right in what you have pointed out but the verse in question also includes the possibility of a believing husband saving an unbelieving wife and a believing wife saving an unbelieving husband etc, which encompasses a layer of doctrine in the text which I admit on face value is not 100% obvious. I believe that Paul believed that an unbelieving wife could be saved through her believing husband but that the wife must remain with the husband and that the husband must remain faithful to his Lord till the end. Hence the question: "How do you know oh husband if you will save your wife?.." Which is another way of saying, don't be worrying about your wife's salvation, rather make sure that you make it in first and that you can keep her with you in the doing, but if she wants to depart then you are not beholden to her. That’s how I interpret the text.

I really don't see how this is possible, given that we have to accept Jesus's death in our place in order for us to avoid paying the death penalty for our sins. We are responsible for our selves, and we cannot "save" someone else. The only one who can do anything "on behalf" of us is Jesus Christ, and even then, we have to accept His gift.

The sanctification is of the marriage, and it is the duty of the believing spouse, and not the unbelieving spouse, to remain in this sacred union.

Soul Winner

chozometroid wrote: »

I really don't see how this is possible, given that we have to accept Jesus's death in our place in order for us to avoid paying the death penalty for our sins. We are responsible for our selves, and we cannot "save" someone else. The only one who can do anything "on behalf" of us is Jesus Christ, and even then, we have to accept His gift.

The sanctification is of the marriage, and it is the duty of the believing spouse, and not the unbelieving spouse, to remain in this sacred union.

Again I accept that but the fact that Paul goes to the trouble of suggesting that the saving of the unbelieving spouse is even possible by the believing spouse tells me that he at least believed in it. And if it was true for Paul then why can't it be true for us?

chozometroid

Soul Winner wrote: »

Again I accept that but the fact that Paul goes to the trouble of suggesting that the saving of the unbelieving spouse is even possible by the believing spouse tells me that he at least believed in it. And if it was true for Paul then why can't it be true for us?

I'm guessing you're referring to these lines:
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk.

I don't really see that Paul is suggesting an unbelieving spouse can be saved by the fact that the believing spouse is saved and with no action of their own.

This is my paraphrase:

Let the unbeliever depart if they want, but more is expected from us believers: we are called to peace. Do you know you might be able save your spouse? God gave you gifts and called you to a way of life, and He expects you to follow through with it.

Basically, we are told to live our lives the way God wants us to, and we might be able to bring our unbelieving spouse to Christ along the way.

Soul Winner

chozometroid wrote: »

I'm guessing you're referring to these lines:
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk.

I don't really see that Paul is suggesting an unbelieving spouse can be saved by the fact that the believing spouse is saved and with no action of their own.

This is my paraphrase:

Let the unbeliever depart if they want, but more is expected from us believers: we are called to peace. Do you know you might be able save your spouse? God gave you gifts and called you to a way of life, and He expects you to follow through with it.

Basically, we are told to live our lives the way God wants us to, and we might be able to bring our unbelieving spouse to Christ along the way.

That's a good way of looking at it, but then so is mine

wolfsbane

Soul Winner wrote: »

I have no problem with that interpretation at all and I think you are right in what you have pointed out but the verse in question also includes the possibility of a believing husband saving an unbelieving wife and a believing wife saving an unbelieving husband etc, which encompasses a layer of doctrine in the text which I admit on face value is not 100% obvious. I believe that Paul believed that an unbelieving wife could be saved through her believing husband but that the wife must remain with the husband and that the husband must remain faithful to his Lord till the end. Hence the question: "How do you know oh husband if you will save your wife?.." Which is another way of saying, don't be worrying about your wife's salvation, rather make sure that you make it in first and that you can keep her with you in the doing, but if she wants to depart then you are not beholden to her. That’s how I interpret the text.

The issue is, How might the believer save the unbelieving spouse? By proxy (just remaining in relationship with a believer makes you righteous)? Or by living out a real Christian life before them, proving the truth of the gospel?

The latter is the only one in line with what all the rest of Scripture teaches about how one is saved - by believing the gospel and heeding it.

Soul Winner

wolfsbane wrote: »

The issue is, How might the believer save the unbelieving spouse? By proxy (just remaining in relationship with a believer makes you righteous)?

"..'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ?" Matthew 19:5

"..and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one." Mark 10:8
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." Ephesians 5:31
When two people unite in marriage the Bible tells us that they become one flesh. So if they are one flesh and one is a believer then how can the unbelieving spouse not make it in seeing that he/she is sanctified through the believing spouse and viewed as the same flesh as the believer?

But then if that is true then we must deal with the verse below also:

"Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."
1 Corinthians 6:15-17

So which is it? If a believer marries a prostitute, does the prostitute get reckoned with the believer or vice versa? Is the believer now seen as if he is now a prostitute? Or is the prostitute seen as a believer considering they have now become the same flesh? That’s what Paul seems to be implying in the above verse or am I completely getting things mixed up? I suppose it probably only applies to a believer who marries a prostitutes who continues in her un-repented of sin of prostitution which would presuppose rebellion on the part of the believer in following through on marrying her in her un-repented of sinful condition.

Anyway, my point is that in normal circumstance the two do become one flesh in God’s sight and as such one cannot go the way of death if they are in fact married to a believer and sanctified thereby.

chozometroid

Anyway, my point is that in normal circumstance the two do become one flesh in God’s sight and as such one cannot go the way of death if they are in fact married to a believer and sanctified thereby.

Our flesh does not make it past this life. Being one flesh does not imply being one in spirit. It may include sharing life, love, sex, passion, thoughts, emotions, love for Christ, spiritual God-fearing lifestyle, but not actually sharing a spirit or sharing the gift of salvation.


And as your beloved Paul says: (my favorite chapter in the Bible)

4That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

5For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.

6For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

7Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.

8So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

9But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his.

10And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.

11But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.

12Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh.

13For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.


So, a sanctified marriage and a union of two fleshs into one do not equate to a conversion, or a washing away of sin. But, we shouldn't forget the parallel presented in Ephesians 5, which shows there is responsibility in marriage:


23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

There is this responsibility for the man to take care of his wife and try to present her without blemish. He is to love her and nourish her, and keep her on the solid rock of Christ.
Man and wife are ideally both members of the body of Christ, and they are one in this way.

wolfsbane

Soul Winner wrote: »

"..'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ?" Matthew 19:5

"..and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one." Mark 10:8
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." Ephesians 5:31
When two people unite in marriage the Bible tells us that they become one flesh. So if they are one flesh and one is a believer then how can the unbelieving spouse not make it in seeing that he/she is sanctified through the believing spouse and viewed as the same flesh as the believer?

But then if that is true then we must deal with the verse below also:

"Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."
1 Corinthians 6:15-17

So which is it? If a believer marries a prostitute, does the prostitute get reckoned with the believer or vice versa? Is the believer now seen as if he is now a prostitute? Or is the prostitute seen as a believer considering they have now become the same flesh? That’s what Paul seems to be implying in the above verse or am I completely getting things mixed up? I suppose it probably only applies to a believer who marries a prostitutes who continues in her un-repented of sin of prostitution which would presuppose rebellion on the part of the believer in following through on marrying her in her un-repented of sinful condition.

Anyway, my point is that in normal circumstance the two do become one flesh in God’s sight and as such one cannot go the way of death if they are in fact married to a believer and sanctified thereby.

Paul is not talking about a man marrying a prostitute. He is referring to the man having sex with one. Sex symbolises the union of marriage - so it is entirely wrong for anyone to have sex outside marriage. The union unmarried sex makes is illegitimate and a mockery of the marriage union.

The mixed marriage is still a marriage, so the unbeliever does not make it invalid - for marriage is a creation ordinance, not a Christian one. It is for all people, not just believers. Christians are forbidden to marry non-Christians because of the trouble it brings to the believer and the poor testimony it gives in marrying outside the family of God. But existing mixed marriages are not to be abandoned - they are to be worked out, however painful that may be. Only if the unbeliever refuses to continue to live in peace is one free to end it.

Now to the issue of salvation - in no case does a spouse or child piggy-back into the kingdom. The marriage is legitimate, so the spouse is not a fornicator nor the children bastards - but they are not thereby Christians. They too must come to Christ by repentance and faith if they are to be saved.