Possesiveness

Shin Bet

Hi guys long story short Im in a ldr was going good but my possesiveness has started to come back and eat into it.
I was hurt really bad before and since then it has always been there.
I find myself constantly ringing her and texting yesterday was the worst when she didnt reply for 5 hours i sent a nasty message saying i tought she would at least answer me after she took the head off me Ive finally decided I dont like that part of me. what used to be some of my brain telling me it was cute to call her all the time I now realise is effing annoying. but can anyone give me any ideas how to stop being so dramatic and possesive.?

Terodil

Shin Bet wrote: »

after she took the head off me Ive finally decided I dont like that part of me. what used to be some of my brain telling me it was cute to call her all the time I now realise is effing annoying. but can anyone give me any ideas how to stop being so dramatic and possesive.?

OP, I think you've made the most important step already.

When we discover annoying properties in ourselves, we usually go through denial and dislike before we can change them. It's really not far from biting nails or similar habits. Realising that you're actively destroying your relationship with it is a big first step.

The next step is to look at yourself when you are doing it and notice what you are doing. The problem is that it is a script you've run so often that you run it automatically. Train yourself to detect when you are doing it, then don't simply run the usual pattern you've always run. Instead, take a deep breath (or 3) and step back from it. Then think about it, on a more rational level, and you'll see that most times you can leave it at that.

Don't fall into the other extreme either though. A little, healthy dose of possessiveness is important, like salt in the soup. Bad if there's too much, but bad if there's none too.

wexford202

Hi OP

Maybe you have too much time on your hands to be thinking.

Tey a few activities and then you won't have time to be sitting by your phone willing it to text or ring.

hollis12

Shin Bet wrote: »

Hi guys long story short Im in a ldr was going good but my possesiveness has started to come back and eat into it.
I was hurt really bad before and since then it has always been there.
I find myself constantly ringing her and texting yesterday was the worst when she didnt reply for 5 hours i sent a nasty message saying i tought she would at least answer me after she took the head off me Ive finally decided I dont like that part of me. what used to be some of my brain telling me it was cute to call her all the time I now realise is effing annoying. but can anyone give me any ideas how to stop being so dramatic and possesive.?

fair play to you mate knowing it is the first step, i think you need to work on your self esteem and try and have more of a life for yourself and then you wont lose yourself in a relationship.

Shin Bet

cheers guys things have been going really well since yesterday.
Im just worried deep in the back of the brain this will pop back in.
Ive been trying to keep busy which has worked but Im not sure if it will last forever so fingers crossed.