what do i do ?gradings exams +failure+age+inferior

ladylouise

thanks for yee help

Dyr

When you say you have a learning problem do you mean that you've been diagnosed with a learning disorder?

ColinJennings

My instructor got his 3rd degree aged 50!
Everyone at thier own pace.

I know some people who got their 3rd degrees before I even took up TKD, so never compare yourself to others.

ladylouise

thanks

dunkamania

Louise, You have started posts on this subject a number of times.

This is clearly a big issue for you. I would suggest that the enjoyment in enjoying what you are doing should be more important than a grade.

By your own reckoning, you overcame a tremendous amount of obstacles over a long period to get your 1st dan. This is impressive, but if you dont see it this way, than its unlikely that a 3rd dan will make you feel any better. I suggest you stop focusing on how well other people are doing, and set goals for yourself that you fell you can achieve in a reasonable timeframe.

ladylouise

thanks

Nothingcompares

You're obviously not good enough to get the grades and you sound like a whinger. What are you complaining about fairness? You seem to think that because you're older than other people you should get the belt?

ladylouise

thanks

ladylouise

thanks

Jason Mc

troll

Dyr

ladylouise wrote: »

thanks for yee help but i don,t think any one can help me. theres no point

It's really unlikely that there's anyone on the internet can help you, the people that can help are yourself, your instructor and possibly the people who are grading you. Those are the people you need to have this conversation with.

Niall Keane

It's not the winning that counts... sorry I'll start again, think it's..."Its the winning that counts not the taking part!"

no that won't help you, how about:

"I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya, it feels phenomenal."~ Peter LaFleur

or maybe:

"Here at Globo Gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it." White Goodman

SorGan

Jason Mc wrote: »

troll

x2

Boston

My couch is the same age as me and in the same line of work but he's a 2nd level Dan while I've never been graded . To be honest I don't really care about gradings and can't understand anyone who does. I understand it can be good to set belts as motivational goals and that someone couching needs to have certain accreditations but I can't imagine why anyone would feel hard done by because some else has had more "success" then themselves.

ladylouise

thanks

danlen

sounds like u should be talking to a pyschiatrist instead of an internet forum. u are making a lot of nonsensical points

104494431

36 months of your life wasted? Not likely.

Were you studying for the grading full time?

Gave up your job?

Training twice a day for 36 months?

Is your financial future dependant on getting a 3rd dan grading?

If you're saying that 36 months of your life spent doing a hobby, training twice a week or so, was wasted then obviously you need to get a new perspective on what you're doing it for.

I understand that you obviously have some disadvantages which are affecting your performance but if you think you deserve the grading then perhaps you should go get it somewhere else or have a discussion with your instructor.

Picture this

---

> You start karate and never (ever) get a black belt, ever because you just don't have what it takes, would you say it's a waste simply because you can't get a belt or would you realise that you spent years doing something that you most likely enjoyed and can openly enjoy for the rest of your natural life?!

If everyone started a martial art simply to get a status symbol then I think that you shouldn't be allowed to do it in the first place. I'm sure there's plenty of martial arts practitioners out there who have been doing it for a decade and have ten times as much skill as the people rolling out of a club run by some instructor who is just giving out belts like christmas presents.

You should do it because you like it, if you don't like it stop doing it.

Unpossible

Louise don't focus on grades and ages and definitely don't compare yourself to others. You have made Black belt so forget about other gradings for a while, just focus on yourself and improving your own skills. Train because you love your martial art not because you want to get stripes on your black belt. If you don't enjoy training any more then walk away, take a month or two off and see how you feel about it, try some other martial arts in the area see if you prefer those.

Personally I'm not bothered about the fact that my peers in Finland will get to take more gradings than me because I love the martial art and will continue it regardless of my grade.

Zen65

Please forgive my bluntness, but you have asked this question so many ways on boards.ie now it's apparent that you cannot see what is important in your life, and you are confusing an issue with your MA grades with an aspect of your self-worth. Did the people in your club who have succeeded better than you go on the internet and whinge about their problems? Are you too engrossed in your own life to realize that they have their own problems too?

In life, it is good to question things, but never good to ask "why me?"

Measuring your life by comparison only to those who have been more successful ensures your unhappiness, and prevents you maturing. Take your head out of where it is and look around you, see those people who have struggled against greater obstacles and overcome them, those who have struggled against lesser obstacles and failed, and then decide if you have the spirit to keep trying.

Either you try, or you stop trying. If you are still trying, stop asking these questions on an internet forum and put your efforts only into achieving your goals. You cannot succeed while you distract yourself with self-pity.

I laugh when I read you complain about your age. In martial arts terms, you are only a child. I know people 10 years older than you still trying to get their 1st Dan, and they do not see their age as a problem.

Be what you can be; know yourself.

Z

FruitLover

Maybe you should just give up. The martial art itself doesn't seem to be of interest to you, only grades and comparisions to other people.

Personally, I couldn't care less if I never take a grading again; it wouldn't stop me training either way. You'll never hear any other poster here complain about "wasting" 36 months of their life training.

ladylouise wrote: »

that's not helping me.

Neither is repeatedly posting about your 'problem' on the internet.