Messed up and miss my gf so much

LegacyUser

I was going out with the most amazing girl in the world for nearly a year who I love to bits. I have never once even thought about being with someone else since we started meeting as I chased this girl for so long before she agreed to go out with me. But I was out one night last week in a different part of the country to where we are from. I got extremely drunk and someone saw me kissing some other girl. I don’t remember it happening or anything about it at all. Don’t remember much of the night to be honest. This girl has broken up with me and I am absolutely gutted. I know it was so stupid of me to let myself get this wasted and I have decided that I am going to change my lifestyle after it. If this is what happens I don’t think I like the person I become with drink in me so I have decided this wont be happening again. But I love this girl so much and cannot imagine not having her around. I haven’t eaten or slept since it happened. I have not drank either which has been hard as I know it’s the easy way to try escape what I am going through. I have been doing a lot of thinking since and I really don’t want to drink again which is why I haven’t but I want my girl back. I know how badly I have messed up and hurt her. How can I convince her to give me another chance as this was a terrible mistake? Do I leave her alone for a while or should I try convincing her to give me another chance? I am changing my lifestyle anyway but I love her so much and cannot bare to be without her.

Peggypeg

Hey OP, if I were you I'd consider going to AA, being an alcoholic doesn't mean that you drink vodka out of a brown paper bag and other sterotypes like that, being an Alcoholic means that alcohol causes you serious problems but you continue to drink anyway. It's good that you say you'll stop drinking, if you're having problems staying stopped I really would go to AA.

With regard to GF, how obvious have you made it that you are really really really sorry? I wouldn't just leave it, she might think you're happy enough to move on. Can you talk to her? Sit her down and tell her just how sorry and ashamed you are. Tell her you were gob****e and that you can't believe what you did coz she's the one you want. Tell her you think it's drink related but that you're going to stop drinking and that you'll get help with that if you find it hard to stop. Basically you need to tell her just how much that night has cost you and you can't even remember it. If you can't talk to her (coz she won't talk to you or whatever) write it all down in a letter. If she does take you back be the most attentive and loving bf ever so she can see how sorry you are and how much you love her.

I hope it goes ok for you.

CDfm

OP is this the only thing that you have done or is it one of a series of events after too much to drink?

LegacyUser

Drink isnt normally a factor but i feel its time to change my drinking pattern now anyway, i just hope its not too late. This is totally out of cgaracter and never with any average amount of drink would i even consider being with anyone while i was with this girl. Think i just lost all of my senses but i cant really explain it as i dont remember what happened.

CDfm

Maybe its time to clean up your behavior. It may not bring the girl back but surely if it brought around this set of events the basic lesson is to cut back and control the amount you drink. If you can't limit it you may need to cut it out. No doubt your girlfriend will only judge you by your behavior.

It has to be a real change and not goind thru the motions.

Monkey61

Hmm...just to throw it out there, but if this is an isolated incident and there weren't any other major problems in the relationship, especially since you mentioned how you did all of the pursuing and such, is it possible that your girlfriend just wasn't that into you anymore and is using this as a handy excuse to break up with you?

I don't know anyone who would break up with a partner of a year over a drunken kiss if they actually really liked them and really wanted the relationship to work.

Drunken mistakes happen; everybody knows that. If it was out of character for you and you learn from it, then that should be enough for anybody.

LegacyUser

Monkey61 wrote: »

Hmm...just to throw it out there, but if this is an isolated incident and there weren't any other major problems in the relationship, especially since you mentioned how you did all of the pursuing and such, is it possible that your girlfriend just wasn't that into you anymore and is using this as a handy excuse to break up with you?

I don't know anyone who would break up with a partner of a year over a drunken kiss if they actually really liked them and really wanted the relationship to work.

Drunken mistakes happen; everybody knows that. If it was out of character for you and you learn from it, then that should be enough for anybody.

Ah come on now,drink is no excuse for anything,you don't "forget" you have a girlfriend just because you're drunk,he did the dirt and he got dumped plain and simple. She's not using it as an excuse, he has hurt and betrayed her. I know plenty of people who would break up with a partner of a year or longer for kissing someone else,drunk or not. You've broken her trust OP. If you really want her back keep trying but be prepared to work hard at gaining her trust again. This is the one thing I couldn't forgive with my OH because it would stop me trusting him and he's always said the same,couldn't be with someone i didn't trust.