Thinks Im a fool

LegacyUser

Quick background.....

I have been seeing a guy for a couple weeks and basically we meet up from time to time purely for sex - no dating or hanging out, and i was quite happy because i was under the impression we were both single and i am just looking for some fun right now. We have never discussed what we were or where its going but i figured i'd let it run and see what happens.

Heres where it gets complicated - we work together, during the week a work colleague was on facebook (dam you facebook) and was flicking through photos of him from the previous weekend and he was with his girlfriend. I casually said "i didnt know X had a girlfriend" her reply was "of course and hes crazy about her but its hard because she lives in Germany so they only meet every few months."

On friday i sent him a text saying i know about your girlfriend is there any other girls i should know about. he replied just saying i shouldnt listen to rumors in work and he spilt from her months ago. Hes lying i know it for sure but if i say something more ill just get more angry and work will be awkward

Any advice appreciated....

MIN2511

I don't understand....

So if he has a gf, you would end things?
It's up to you to decide what you want.
NSA means you can walk away now and there's no need for an explanation.

Colonel_McCoy

I am confused.....why would you care if ye are just FBs? Do you have stronger feelings for him?

kjl

makes scene to me,

guy do tend to bounce into mindless sex relationships after a break up, and people comment of facebook all the time and are misinformed, have you any reason not to believe him apart from a random commend on facebook. Did he seem like he was lying? Is he always checking texts around you?

Plus considering that you are purely in this for the sex, do you have any right to judge, you're acting like you might have feelings for this guy while at the same time you are possibly jeopardizing some aspect of your career by fooling around with a guy in work in the first place.

herya

Colonel_McCoy wrote: »

I am confused.....why would you care if ye are just FBs? Do you have stronger feelings for him?

She would probably care as she's been unknowingly hurting another girl this guy was cheating on (IF it's true he has a gf). She believed they were both single and in it for a bit of fun and not to cheat on their existing partners.

It's one thing to be a FB and another to be somebody people cheat with.

But is he's split with his German girlfriend long ago it's fair enough, worth checking though. OP you're doing the right thing by making sure that this is a real NSA relationship.

LegacyUser

Am i an idiot? wrote: »

Quick background.....

I have been seeing a guy for a couple weeks and basically we meet up from time to time purely for sex - no dating or hanging out, and i was quite happy because i was under the impression we were both single and i am just looking for some fun right now. We have never discussed what we were or where its going but i figured i'd let it run and see what happens.

Heres where it gets complicated - we work together, during the week a work colleague was on facebook (dam you facebook) and was flicking through photos of him from the previous weekend and he was with his girlfriend. I casually said "i didnt know X had a girlfriend" her reply was "of course and hes crazy about her but its hard because she lives in Germany so they only meet every few months."

On friday i sent him a text saying i know about your girlfriend is there any other girls i should know about. he replied just saying i shouldnt listen to rumors in work and he spilt from her months ago. Hes lying i know it for sure but if i say something more ill just get more angry and work will be awkward

Any advice appreciated....

Rule 1
Don't get involved with someone you work with

Rule 2
Don't develop feelings or start a FB relationship with someone you have feelings for

You broke both of them and it now leads to this mess.

shellyboo

Just meet him, tell him you know he has a gf and you want to end it. Simple as that.

Liam Byrne

hghdh wrote: »

You broke both of them and it now leads to this mess.

There's no indication of her breaking Rule 2; two friends who are FB's is fun, but if one of them has a boy/girlfriend (or gets one along the way) then the decent thing to do is to stop (or not start in the first place, depending).

When I'm single and in that frame of mind, I'd have no problem being a FB with someone I knew and respected; I would not accept being someone for them to cheat with, though. Morals (and the potential for STDs and other complications) would draw the line for me there.

Sarah**

Rule number two - Never develop feelings - I couldnt agree more. There is nothing worse.

Time you were honest with yourself OP. If you have feelings its time you either say something if your confident he has too or dont and walk away.

ash23

I don't think the OP necessarily has broken the FB rules here. There is nothing to suggest she has feelings for this guy.

I had a FB for a while but I know I was pretty plssed when I found out he had gotten himself a girlfriend and neglected to inform me. I don't cheat, either on partners or with people with partners.
He was calling round to me and was in a new relationship and therefore was lying to me and opening me up to the possibility of an irate girlfriend knocking on my door or chucking a pint over me some night in the local.

Thats not what I signed up for. A partner takes away the NSA aspect of the FB relationship. It doesn't mean I'm sobbing into my pillow over him having a new girlfriend. Plenty more men out there

OP, say nothing. Just don't answer his calls/texts and leave it at that. He'll either get the hint and stop calling or he'll ask you why and at that point you can just say you got bored, met someone, know he has a gf...whatever floats your boat. keep it friendly for the sake of your job but other than that cut him loose.