Scared of Travelling

LegacyUser

This is going to sound like a really strange problem because I know lots of people love to travel but I'm not able to stand it. It's not just flying, it's any sort of travel, even going across the country terrifies me. The thought of the whole thing from preparing to go, to packing and thinking about leaving scares me to the point of being physically ill.

I think deep down, the reason for this probably has to do with the amount of times I went away with my parents as a child/teen. Since I was about six untill sixteen my parents would take me away with them once or twice a year on sun holidays, and every holiday, their drinking would triple what it normally was (and they're heavy drinkers to begin with). Holidays would always follow the same pattern. The first two or three days would be great and after that it would just decend into them sitting on the balcony drinking from twelve in the day then moving from bar to bar during the evening. Since I was the sober one, I would take care of them and made sure they got back home safely that night. This included everything from simply remembering the way back to the hotel, to hailing taxis, to cleaning up drunken injurys, making sure they got into bed okay. We've been thrown off busses for them being too drunk, on one occasion my Dad threw me into a wall, multiple times my mother has wandered off only to return five or six hours later sunburnt and disorientated. All of this only stopped when I was old enough to say I wouldn't be joining them on holidays anymore.

I thought I'd love it when I actually had my own money and independance to go away but I'm the complete opposite. I just irrationally panic with the thought of it. Last year my ex persuaded me to go on a short break with him. Everything was fine untill about three days before when I got so worried I could barely eat. When I got there we had a fantastic time untill I got a kidney infection and spent the rest of the holiday ill in bed. My ex got very pissed off with me and I came home feeling horrible and like I'd ruined the whole thing.

The reason this is an issue now is I have a group of friend going away in the new year. They went away last year but I could bring myself to go, and now looking back on the photos they took, it looks like they're having such a good time and I really want to join them this time around. However when I really think about going I just can't bear it. If I don't go I'll miss out and I'll be disappointed in myself, if I do I'm going to spend weeks worrying and probably end up looking like a lunatic in tears at the airport.

Kevster

Hi,

It sounds like you're transposing your past worries to your present; and I think that a counsellor would be a great idea for someone you could go to see about this problem. If there's a counsellor in your place of work/study, then go to see him/her. Regarding the upcoming trip, talk about your worries NOW before it's too late. Don't leave it to the last moment because that will - to be frank - cause an awful lot of hassle for both you and your friends. When you tell your friends about what's happening, be sure to tell them beforehand not to overreact and to hear you out before they reply.

Kevin

dazberry

OP, I can understand where you're coming from as I too hate travelling. I don't mind being in other places, I just hate airports, fear missing connections or flights, and am really stressed in relation to the journey. The day someone invents a teleport machine I'd be set!

The irony is the last time I was away I was the one making sure people got from the train to the bus to the plane, but I think it was a case of if we are going to be lost, we can be all lost together! I think if I was on my own - I'd be a basket case.

If you're going with a group of friends, what I would suggest is having a word with a couple of them and ask them to help you if you need assistance, let them know you are nervous and that you just might need their support. Once you don't feel on you own you might find it that bit easier.

D.