Some girls are so pretty they make me queezy... anyone else?

LegacyUser

I'm kinda like stan from south park when he meets wendy... although I don't actually puke up onto womens faces... But my stomach does get a bit tense as I think to myself "jesus h christ she is one effing beautiful woman...." It only happens with girls that I know at least to see. Even if I look at photos of them I think "wow" and I get a bit nervous and queezy... Kinda wierd I know.

Em... anyone else have this problem?

kjl

no

Silverfish

kjl, please read the charter with regards to unhelpful posting.


OP, I know a good few people who've had this happen to them, its the 'butterflies in the stomach' feeling, but concentrated.

How old are you, OP?

wolfric

Now forgive me if i'm a bit harsh but feelings like that can stem from problems of confidence. Usually people view themselves as worthless so everyone else seems naturally quite high. therefore if some girl is quite pretty she seems unbelievably elevated. One of the tricks is to try lower her worth in your mind. Now i'm not saying disrespect her or put her down but try to imagine that shes not as good as you.

If you think of her as "worthy" of you rather then you being lucky to get a glimpse of her then you'll have more power over the situation. It even helps when trying to meet women. If you enforce that (but be careful not to get snooty) then your body language and vibes will give out that of someone naturally worth more and will make you more of an attractive candidate.

suspectpackage

I know what you mean OP, I really do. but the problem for me is that I elevate them to a superhuman type of status "holy sh*t she is unreal" etc. Happens all the time. Happened a few times today actually as town was packed. However, in times like that it's always worth remembering, "Everyone sits on the toilet".

It's a crude visual, but lessens her "godess" status when I visualize her squeezing one out. Try it. It's realistic and definitely happened to her that day too.

Wibbs

IMHO I think pretty much every guy does at some stage, even if that stage is very short, or it's not as noticeable. I would reckon most "grow out of it", which I know may sound patronising, but that describes it well enough, for want of better words. Many don't though and it can become extreme and I know a couple of guys like that. It turns into a kind of phobia.

I think how a guys first encounters with women go, especially how his first romantic encounters go makes the difference. If they go well enough, then it takes the edge of that nervousness and they get more confidence and it also lifts the veil a bit and they're less likely to think of women as strange unknowable creatures. They basically learn how the game goes so to speak.

If a guy is naturally an introverted lad to start with and his first interactions with women go badly, or if his first crush or worse first love is completely unrequited then the distance increases and kinda feeds on itself. Then women, especially women they find very attractive bring out the fear. Rinse and repeat.

How to fix it though? I think increasing contact with whatever you fear while ramping up the fear in the short term, does help in the long. The mind seems to get bored with feeling that fear after a while. I had a mate who had a phobia about spiders. A crippling one too and she got professional help and IIRC a lot of it was slowly exposing herself to the notion of spiders. Talking about them, then looking at pictures of them then having a dirty great tarantula in the room up to the point of being able to hold the clear box it was in in her hand. Looong process but it helped her. Maybe someone with this queasiness could do similar? Just expose themselves(not literally:)) to the object of their fear. Forget about the romantic/sexual side and just talk to women. After a while the process may be like a more longwinded and later process that should have happened when they first set out on the road of men women relationships?

Folks out there like psychologists who know about this stuff will have a far better or completely different explanation though.

For me, I don't get the queasiness unless I'm into someone and in the majority of cases there would have to be some sign however small that this may be returned. The "pretty" part doesn't matter as such. There are so many pretty women out there. Pretty is common. Depending on what floats your boat it can be very common or if you're a fussy bugger:) less so, but walk down any busy street and you'll see how kinda average pretty actually is. If it's that average and commonplace why be scared of it. I'm only scared if I know someone can emotionally hurt me and it's looking like they might.