Sibling Suicide

LegacyUser

My brother commited suicide yesterday, and was laid down in my front room about ten minutes ago. I haven't accepted the fact he's gone - and I won't.

I'm looking for someone who can give me some advice on how me and my family can lose such a close and loving relative. Thanks so much for any advice given.

kjl

I'm afraid that its going to take a lot longer then a day for you to feel better about this. I know it can be hard and confusing, but you need to be strong for you and for your family, but also be able to let it out.

MizzLolly

Awh I'm so sorry to hear that OP. Take extra care of yourself and your parents, don't try to bottle everything up. I guess for the next short while you will still feel numb and in denial. It's completely normal but don't allow yourself to become isolated, keep yourself surrounded by people you trust and you can talk to. Really, there's nothing anyone can say here to change anything. What you're going through right now is a nightmare but you will eventually be able to process and accept that this has happened. This will mean nothing to you right now however. Just give yourself time and allow your friends and family to comfort you.

Take care.

the_syco

http://www.samaritans.org/
1850 60 90 90


A list of people who can help you and your family through this:

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/death/bereavement-counselling-and-support/support_services_for_those_affected_by_suicide

Jadaol

flhps wrote: »

My brother commited suicide yesterday, and was laid down in my front room about ten minutes ago. I haven't accepted the fact he's gone - and I won't.

I'm looking for someone who can give me some advice on how me and my family can lose such a close and loving relative. Thanks so much for any advice given.

Keep talking about it if possible with those who want to or want to listen

LegacyUser

Ive been there... its just horrible and I think of my brother all the time, now I have kids that he has never met.

In the early days, every time I was enjoying myself I used to feel guilty.

Just keep talking to whoever you feel comfortable talking to about this. You will find some people wont know what to say to you and may avoid you but make sure you dont bottle everything in. Also consider councelling.

With time you will come to accept what has happened, but it takes a long long time to get to this point.

Try to keep your mind occupied as I found it helped me not dwell on what/whys and what ifs that fill your mind when someone chooses to end their own life.

LadyMayBelle

Thoughts with you OP. You might be a multitude of emotions or feeling nothing at all. The important thing to remember that there is no one, correct route to take to grieve your loss. You take your time and you will find support here on this thread. Right now, you may have so many questions and so may your family and friends but just mind yourself tonight x

Wacker

Hey OP. Sorry for your loss. Having lost a sister to an OD, I hope my advice will be of use. Take care of yourself, and try to see to it that your family do the same, to the best of your ability. Specifically: eat well, try to sleep, shower and shave, if applicable. Most importantly, do not drink too much or go near drugs. Your situation is bad enough without making it worse for yourself.

The pain is going to be nearly unbearable, as will the fatigue you will feel shortly. But go as easy on yourself as you can; this was not your fault.

Handsome Bob

What can I say OP? Firstly sorry for your loss, there's nothing worse than that feeling that you somehow failed the person who committed suicide. The only advice I can give you is talk, talk to the people you know who want to talk about it too.

supermouse

Oh OP, my deepest sympathies to you and your family!

I think you need to talk about it as much as you can, im sure you have some good friends - use them, its what they're there for! Talk to some one professional aswell, these people give great advice!

Be there for your family as well, they are going through exactly what you are. Your parents are going to be in bits, remember their feelings.

Take time for yourself to get to terms with this, dont rush your emotions or judge your feelings on anyone else's.... just deal with this your way!

Best of luck to you hun xx

Beruthiel

My condolences and deepest sympathy OP.
Take one day at a time.
Look after yourself and your family.

lostinlimerick

hi op my opinions on this is to talk of the good memories as much as possible and stay close to your family. 2 years ago my uncle commited suicide and a year later my grandmother did the same , if only the both had a bit of councelling it would been prevented i think you and your family should in respect get berevement councelling sorry cant spell but my mother and her sisters do it and they are getting closure from this

Aurora Borealis

My deepest condolences OP.

LegacyUser

Im so sorry for your lose,
It must be a terrible time for you and your family, as the other posters say talk about it with friends and family, im sure there was great memories that you shared that will come flooding back in the next few days and will be as vivid as the day they happened.
It will take you a while to come to terms with it, it will be long and painful but you will comeout a stronger person.
Above all talk about your brother in high asteem and be proud of him for the life that he had, we are all unique in our own way.
My taughts are with you.

renraw

Sorry to hear of your loss OP. I've lost 4 people to suicide and only a couple of months ago a very close cousin committed suicide. Its hard to understand something like this but time is a great healer. The fiorst time someone I knew committed suicide it took me ages to recover, but I did. I really don't know what to say to you as its a heartbreaking situation you're in. I hope and pray for ya and your family that ye get through this.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the support guys. It feels like talking about happy and funny memories with my family seem to ease the pain somewhat. It was all very nice of you to reply and I can't say how much the support means to me.

Thanks everyone.

Wacker

flhps wrote: »

Thanks for all the support guys. It feels like talking about happy and funny memories with my family seem to ease the pain somewhat. It was all very nice of you to reply and I can't say how much the support means to me.

Thanks everyone.

You're very welcome

LegacyUser

I've been there too.....things will never be the same again for you and your family. You will eventually start living your life again and enjoying yourself but the thoughts of your brother will also weigh over you. You will never be 100% happen because a piece will always be missing from your world for the rest of your life.
Sometimes I would listen to friends say how their brother or sister is going away to america or australia for a year and they'll miss them so much....not thinking that'll I'll never see my brother again, but you gotta let things like that slide and don't let it upset you.
The next week or so will be a complete daze and even now you're probably still in shock. Just be strong for your family, you'll all need each other.

Eve_Dublin

I´m so, so sorry for your loss OP. Look after yourself.

oil painting

Hi OP,

It must have come as such a shock to you and your family, so sorry that this has happened, Im coping with death myself over the last few years and i find that the persons presence is always around me, i feel guided by that and it makes me stop and feel the moment sometimes, i do get comfort out of feeling someone is watching over me -even if its only in my mind but in that sense he never dies.

I wish you and your family the very best, sending the angels to watch over you! xx

jmbkay

OP, I have just read your first post and want to say how sorry I am for what you and your family are going through. I am thinking of you and praying for you. Please take care yourself and your family.