Honest opinions please!!

abcdef123

met a guy on a random night out about 2 and a half months ago. swapped numbers and text daily for about 5-6 weeks. tried to meet up a few times but due to work and short distance between us it didn't happen. met for the first time since that night about a month ago. got on great, really good laugh and basically ended up in bed together, lots of drink etc. it wasn't meant to happen that soon as i don't usually do that (ha i know every1 says that but i really don't!!). no regrets on either side. lots of texting for few weeks after, things were great very very flirty! met again few times got on great ended up in bed everytime!

basically i'm wondering have i ruined any chance of a potential relationship between us by sleeping with him so soon? i know lots of lads who think a girl that sleeps with them on the first night is the same with every1 and not gf material! we've both said we like each other and are not gonna meet other people even though we don't actually see that much of each other due to work and bigger living distance between us now. also it's starting to feel like i'm making more of an effort with the texting side of things aswell. maybe i'm just rambling now but needed to write it down to clear my head.

any opinions welcome, am i just paranoid or is it just a fling?

minidazzler

Hmm, ye have agreed to not see other people? Sounds like it is quickly becoming defacto to me anyway.

About the first question, does it rule you out as GF material, it really depends on the guy, not all guys will go out with a girl who slept with them on the first date. But alot will.

Just ask him really, it's all you can do.

If the chemistry is right and the time is right for the both of ye, then keep seeing each other.

If he says that ye can't see eachother in a proper relationship because you slept with him on the first date, screw him. Remember there is a distance between ye, it wouldn't be economical for ye to go on a date and then one of ye leave that night! Make the most of the time:D

wasper

I don't think you have ruined your chance.
You both seem to enjoy meeting each other & ending up in bed. How about less texting & more talking. Meet up more often & talk face to face. Take it from there & see where it will go.
If you have a hobby perhaps ask him if he likes to go along with you.
Good luck.

Terodil

I don't know what YOU have, only you and your bf (?) can really know. I'd suggest you sit down asap and talk to each other about where you see yourselves now and where you'd like to take it.

I personally don't believe in this 'early sex = no relationship' thing. Especially because it's such one-sided archaic crap. If you both had fun then neither of you should judge the other for doing it. It defies logic. From this side, give it a go! (And if he does judge you for 'putting out so early/easily' then I personally think you made a good escape.)

abcdef123

thanks for replies, i've mentioned the sleeping together so soon thing to him, he said i am just been paranoid and it doesn't bother him! just wondering was he saying it though, prob am worryin over nothing!

both of us have said we wish we could meet more but it's just not possible at the minute so textin/ringin will ave to do for a while.
ha i think my real prob is that he def did mosta the chasing at the start and now that feels like its died down a bit now we've met a few more times. may just wait and see what happens!

Terodil

abcdef123 wrote: »

thanks for replies, i've mentioned the sleeping together so soon thing to him, he said i am just been paranoid and it doesn't bother him! just wondering was he saying it though, prob am worryin over nothing!

I believe so.

Just as an aside: I don't think it was such a brilliant idea to mention it to him. Just tread a bit careful here in the future. You are your own person, you chose to have sex with him, stand by it! You did nothing wrong or despicable. He chose to have sex with you so the same thing could be said for him. Just stand up for yourself, communicating doubts in your choices gives off vibes of insecurity. (I can't believe I'm actually typing the i-word but I do think it's true in this case. Don't be ashamed of your choices.)

abcdef123 wrote: »

ha i think my real prob is that he def did mosta the chasing at the start and now that feels like its died down a bit now we've met a few more times. may just wait and see what happens!

Uh, no, don't blow this up into a chasing game please. Have the talk and see if you are in the relationship you're wishing for, but then quit playing elusive (sorry if I misinterpret what you said). Games are never helping relationships.

abcdef123

ah i just mentioned the sleeping together thing casually wasn't a major thing but kinda wanted to throw it out there!

and i agree with ya bout playing games- not my style so i'm just gonna go with the flow!:)

LegacyUser

abcdef123 wrote: »

ah i just mentioned the sleeping together thing casually wasn't a major thing but kinda wanted to throw it out there!

You shouldn't have brought it up as you made an issue out of it and could have made him thing that what you actually did was bad.
You met him on a night out.
Texting for weeks.
You slept with him after a date, where you went out to meet him. It's not like you were just out to meet anyone for a sh*g.
I see no problem with this and I have very high standards for the woman I sleep with, (not for .

abcdef123 wrote: »

and i agree with ya bout playing games- not my style so i'm just gonna go with the flow!:)

Men like to be chased too. At the start it's usual for men to do most of the running, but it should be equal chasing once thing progress a bit.
Woman who play games to get men to do all the chasing, are just as needy and insecure as the clingy woman, they just have a different process.