Why is this bothering me?

LegacyUser

In a relationship for a year but there's something that keeps popping in to my mind from time to time and I don't know why. Basically it's to do with our experiences in the past and let's just say that she was more experienced than I before we met (I being a virgin). I must also say they were all one night stands that she had. But it bugs me at times (god knows why) that she's had a few different partners. I think I'm just curious as to how I compare/what happened in the past. I really don't want to be with any one else, could not be happier, so it's confusing that this is still all on my mind.

opinion guy

Because OP
we are all unconsciously programmed by culture to believe that the first time is magical, wonderful special and somehow something holy and a wonderful gift for someone special - usually a high school sweetheart we have the pleasure to explore our flowering sexuality with before departing for the big bad world to enjoy further partners with that magical first time under our belts (pun intended). <cue generic american teenage rock/pop song - teenage dirtbag or somewat like that>


All of that is total BS. Most of the time peoples first times are awkward, crap, frequently drunken fumbles that one or both partner might like to forget (hell I was the guy and I pretty much faked it - it was so not working). What people don't tend to tell you is that it takes time to learn a new partner's likes, dislikes, get to know their body etc etc etc. Yes good sex takes a little practice.

So OP stop worrying. Just take things at their own pace. Don't overthink it. It will happen when it happens. You guys will become good with time and after some practice you'll be much better than her one night stands were

Wibbs

Culture as opinion guy said and maybe even some biology. It could be argued that men evolved to be more twitchy as they couldn't be absolutely sure if any child was theirs(less of an issue now). I reckon though it's mostly ego and the worry you don't match up, a vague concern that she may go elsewhere because you don't come up to scratch. That she feels she's missing out somehow because these other guys may have been "studs". I say arse to that. She's with you now and is emotionally bonded with you. I would also be of the opinion that a woman will go off a man who is a demon in the sack but a emotionally useless to her than the other way around.

I'd say the same for men. Me anyway. I had an ex that would have gotten the gold in the nookie Olympics, but as a partner, an emotional connection or as a reliable person? Nope she was useless. As I say this could just be me, but so long as I'm having sex with a woman and I love her, the "quality" of that sex is of far less importance than the connection I have. It stops being about being a measured quality for a start. The woman I probably loved the most in my life while ok in that dept(and got better) was actually average enough and TBH I was pretty average with her too. Rarely felt as much of an intimate connection with anyone else though.

Try and put it out of your mind. Hard maybe, but well doable. She's with you. She loves you. She shares her body with you. That's all that counts.