Don't know where I stand with her. Confusing!

LegacyUser

This one kinda got away from me so I'm gonna put a 2 sentence summary at the bottom for the laze-bags! Also, it's worth noting that all kisses contained in this story were, unless otherwise stated, while under the influence. Hah!

I'm gonna preface this by saying that I'm not bad with women. I'm no casanova but I don't really have much trouble kissing a girl I like or whatever. I say this just to contextualise the situation. I'm not some under-confident, brooding, angsty dude who's obsessed with anyone who throws him the eye. But I like this girl. I don't even really know why exactly I like her, I just like her. I've been single for a few months and having such a great time. Haven't really wanted a relationship with anyone lately and now I kinda do. Which is why this is frustrating!


This is long but I'll try to keep it as brief and concise as I can.


Towards the end of June, a company came in to my place of work (a theatre) for the remainder of the Summer. This girl (I'll call her worked for that company, in close proximity with me. I'm pretty chatty so I struck up conversation with her pretty quick and we got on like a flaming house. We'd kinda flirt a little and just make fun of each other and just be generally very friendly. She'd be the same way with the other lads but they weren't really like that back (lack of confidence to just relax and be themselves perhaps, I dunno).

So one night, we're all having a few drinks after work and eventually it transpires that I'm going to meet my mates in the same club that she's going to meet her sister so we leave together for the club. When we walk out, she puts her arm around me, over my shoulders. So I put my arm around her waist and we walk like this for a bit. Then she breaks it and after a couple seconds, I hold her hand and she doesn't seem to have a problem with this. At the club, I kiss her. She seems hesitant at first but soon kinda reciprocates. Cool. Next night, she drops me home from work (we live in the same direction and I didn't have my car). I figure the previous night was a drunken thing so, to see how she feels, I kiss her soberly. We kiss for a minute or 2 and when I break the kiss, she says she should go home to sleep. Kinda negative response but we'd just done a 12 hour shift.

Anyway, after that I kinda got the feeling she wasn't interested anyway so I decided to leave it. Soon thereafter, I'm dating a new girl (E) and B starts dating a guy from my job (N). So B and N decide to keep their thing hidden from me, in case I get upset. B doesn't know I'm dating someone else. N does but still thinks that I like B. I'm happy with E! After not to long, things with B and N seem to have faded and things end with myself and E.

So a few weeks ago, a group of us go out to celebrate B's last night working in our theatre. I tell her that I'm not gonna go for various reasons. She gets jokingly p*ssed off and tells me I better be there. I plan to be there but we always tease each other. Eventually she says that I'm the best friend she made during the Summer and if I don't go, she may as well not go herself. The night rolls around and she says (quite seriously) "I'm not talking to you. I'm mad at you about tonight." I laugh and say "D'you really think I'd miss your last night?" She calls me an asshole but smiles really widely as she does. As circumstances would have it, she has other commitments and has to follow us to the club. She gets there a while later, a little drunk and is pretty flirty with me. Eventually, I end up kissing her. The reaction I get is strange... She seems unenthused somehow... She lets me kiss her and kisses back when I do but never initiates, like she feels awkward about the whole thing. So I figure she's defo not interested and I stop kissing at her and leave it be!

Two weeks on, she comes into the theatre for a planned night of fun with everyone. We flirt for most of the night. N is there. They barely speak. Later, I walk into one of the rooms and see them talking. I don't acknowledge them as they seem to be having a serious convo. I turn my back and stand at the bar to get a drink. 10 seconds later, N gets up and goes into the other room. B comes over and squeezes my hip, says hello and chats for a minutes before we both go back in the other room. N leaves about 10 minutes before we do.

B asks me if I'd like to share a taxi (as we live in the same direction). I say I may just walk but we leave together anyway. She sees that I'm in a bad mood (totally unrelated) and probes me about it. Then she kisses me. For the first time, she's being the aggressor. She then tells me (unprompted) that the conversation I walked in on with her and N was their break-up. I had thought they'd broken up weeks before, which is why I'd kissed her. Then, her hesitance on the night 2 weeks previous seemed to make sense. So anyway, I come clean. I tell her that I'm sick of playing it cool and that I genuinely like her. She kisses me again and I say "That's all it took? Just for me to say that I actually like you? We've been dancing around this for AGES!" she agrees and tells me things like she likes me even though she's not sure what it is that she likes. She also mentions that she hadn't been planning to get into anything. So anyway, we were both pretty drunk and had kinda a big fight. We talked it over on the phone and that was it sorted.

We've kinda had very little contact since then but she called me a few nights ago and we had a really nice chat for over an hour, which was real nice. But she doesn't call/contact me as much as she used to and tbh, I've been kinda scared that I scared her off by telling her that I liked her that night so I don't wanna text her too much. I even asked her out to the cinema the other day but she was busy and didn't respond for like 8 hours.

The whole thing's wrecking my head cos I like her but I just don't know where I stand. Thanks for reading. I never usually get like this cos I usually know where I stand but this is a headwreck situation.



Summary: A girl started working with me for a while and we seemed to have mutual interest but any time I kissed her, she seemed a little hesitant. Though I eventually gave up and started dating someone else, I tried for this first girl again months later because our spark seemed to have rekindled. She was however dating my friend at this time (a short relationship that I'd thought had ended weeks previously) and, though she kissed back, she seemed really hesitant. When they officially broke up (mutually, long time coming), she showed real interest in me and we kissed a lot. She stated at the time that she hadn't planned on getting involved in anything. I'm also painfully aware that she has a VERY active life (charity work, group work, college societies among other stuff) so she's busy a lot. That was nearly 2 weeks ago and we've had little contact since, mostly a few texts, some facebook chat and one phonecall that she made to me the other night that lasted over an hour. Now it all just seems like mixed signals and I don't know how to take it all.

That was longer than a 2 line summary. Apologies and thanks in advance for the help/advice/perspective!!!