Have to quit the weed.

LegacyUser

This is a vent, rather than an appeal for advice but any pearls of wisdom would be appreciated. This is a kind-of first step in owning up to the problem, albeit anonymously.

I have to stop smoking weed and hash.

I had started to write this post with my smoking (and everything else) history but no matter how much I edited it, it was turning out to be a massive post so here's the most concise version I can write.

I've smoked more or less constantly for fourteen years, did a lot of binge drinking as any good son of Érin does when growing up and took lots of pills and lots of coke. I've been having emotional/psychological problems as a result of the smoking in particular for maybe ten years. Even typing this, I'm appalled that I didn't stop/seek help before now. I'm currently on the rebound from my second break-down in six years, my second rock-bottom, suicidal, move home with the parents and pretend that weed/hash are not the problems breakdown. Now I'm living on my own and working thankfully and I'm a completely different, more self-aware person that I have ever been.

Still can't break the cycle of the smoking though. I've known for years that I couldn't control the weed, would only have a few tokes outside the pub on a Friday night and refused to buy it since the last rock-bottom period. I'd spend the whole of the week just hoping that the lads had a bit of weed on the Friday and if they didn't I just tore into the pints. The lads often offered me the numbers of a few dealers but I told them I didn't want it. They never pushed it as they were aware that I had some problems when I came back the first time.

Eventually though, I took a number of a guy who never has a supply problem and who has really good, if expensive weed. Now here I am, almost three months later and my brain is back in the same box with the light fading again. I've wasted so many opportunities over the last few years, if I got back into that rock-bottom state again I don't think I'd have the strength to pull myself out of it. Plus, I'm angry that I wasted all of this time. I have become the opposite of what I know for a fact that I'm capable of being.

Just to clear it up, one friend who has had her own addiction problems knows about what's in this post and my brother does too, but doesn't understand the full extent of the problem. Parents and friends haven't a clue as I have become very good at hiding things over the years. I really don't want my parents to know either, they've had enough to worry about over the years and I'm more than a little ashamed.

One reason for not seeking help before was that I didn't think that it was a valid addiction compared to alchoholism etc. and that I should just stop smoking, end-of. Also, I felt that if people knew the extent of the problem, that I'd have to sneak around to smoke weed in the future. That's just ridiculous I know but that's how I felt/feel.

I still feel a little stupid in saying that I'm addicted to the weed but I am, no two ways about it and a Google search shows that there are people out there with the same problem, who have managed to sort it out. Even now, thinking about never smoking weed or hash again puts the heart cross-ways in me.

I'm going to ring the psychologist that I saw after the last time. She was adamant that the smoking was the major factor behind my problems and wanted me to get some more specialised help locally. It became a sticking point so I finished seeing her. Now it's time to look at what she was suggesting. There's also a local-ish NA meeting tonight but that feels like a big first step.

I've seen a number of posts on this subject here and could identify with most of the issues, I think that reading them has made it easier to face up to changes that I need to make.

Anyway, one way or another, I have to make a change. I have a few business plans and will have prototype capitol in the new year. I can't let this go by without giving it 100%.

Anyway, if you thought this post was long, you should have seen the one I deleted in place of it. Apologies for the length and thanks for your patience if you managed to read the whole thing.

This was a good first step. Now just to submit it.

RossFixxxed

Oh yeah, I know that one. Though fourteen years is a LONG time and is ingrained into you now. I'd say there are going to be some chemical imbalances / habits ingrained into you at this point.

BUT, it is not (as far as I understand) physically addictive, rather psychologically. Though it may have effects on your brain, and it's going to need time to get back to being clear and not full of THC.

It IS doable though mate. The fact that you are going to meetings is fantastic, if the symptoms are bad (I found i started having some really random weird thoughts, and fits of anxiety) then go to a Doctor.

Once you get out of the habit I do firmly belive you will be plesantly surprised. It's hard to see the end of a crutch/habit like this, and the familiarity it breeds but you do miss out on a lot just getting baked in front of the telly.

You seem like you're on the right track, well and truly. I've little advice here I'm more saying GO YOU, you've admitted to a problem and taken steps to solve it. That takes balls and shows character. Keep it up man, and we're all here if you need people to talk to. (a few with 1st hand experience I'd wager )

Best of luck!
R

Overheal

What works for one guy wont work for the next. Everybody is wired different. I've gotten out of 2 short binges lasting 6 months each the same way: I'm a stubborn bastard and don't like to be bossed around by assholes. And Weed is an asshole. And it bosses you around. When I caught myself thinking "I have to get more smoke" thats when I was doing things for it, not for me. Eventually you just turn it around and start bossing it back. Just personify those cravings into some annoying asshole trying to tell you what to do, its easy to tell it to **** off after that, for me anyway.

Psychologist is a good choice though. 14-15 years is a long time to be on the ganje. Its probably not gonna be easy. Id want to think of it like breaking a leg, but it is a psychological condition with a physiological component. It can easilly require professional assistance to get out of.

username123

enoughisenough wrote: »

One reason for not seeking help before was that I didn't think that it was a valid addiction compared to alchoholism etc. and that I should just stop smoking, end-of. Also, I felt that if people knew the extent of the problem, that I'd have to sneak around to smoke weed in the future. That's just ridiculous I know but that's how I felt/feel.

This is totally NOT ridiculous, all addicts feel the same way about coming clean about the extent of the addiction, its part of why they stay addicts. Plus, any addiction is as valid as any other, if its causing problems in your life it needs to be addressed, end of.

Advice: come as clean as you can to whoever you can, get as much support as possible, go to meetings, counsellers, doctors, friends, whoever. Change your socialising habits, do not hang out with other weed smokers. Try to put something positive in your life in place of the weed. Stay strong, there is a life without addiction.

Well done on admitting the extent of the problem, now go take the clarity with which you have posted and apply it to sorting the problem out and the very best of luck with it.

grizzly

I've seen how weed be a fcuker of an addiction as it becomes such a part of your life. I've meet people who have used it for years – loving using weed everyday without fail. Then it all snaps for them and suddenly it's their worst enemy.

I'm pessimistic about people and believe most of us are addicts to something– we're creatures of habit. It's just about finding something to be addicted to that won't hurt you.

Best of luck with it. Post back here and tell us how you get on.

LegacyUser

I am a marijuana addict too. This is the second time I've given up (first time was last year for 3 months) and I've got to 9 months this time. I was lucky enough this time to be in a country with marijuana anonymous meetings and I learned to sit in NA meetings (back here) not comparing MY substance with other peoples and to find the similarities.

There is also www.marijuana-anonymous.org/ which has online meetings (IM style) and a LOT of reading material which I strongly recommend (http://www.marijuana-anonymous.org/litpamphlets.shtml). The website (having been designed by ex stoners) isn't the most easily navigable site but keep exploring and you'll find plenty of things to read and consider.

To help with the withdrawals , acupuncture is a blessing! It speeds up the metabolism of the canabanoids and I didn't feel them as strongly too when I had acupuncture. If you don't like needles, acupressure can just as effective, I've heard. If you contact an addiction centre, they can set you up to talk to an addiction therapist and point you in the direction of addiction acupuncture places

There are also teas that are supposed to help with withdrawals.

Are you in Dublin? Because I've heard there might be a MA meeting starting there. There's a marijuana anonymous boards username listed. Maybe contact them to keep up to date.

I found that hope was one of the most important things for me. Hope that I could be me without having to be "X the stoner/hippy". Hope that I could face the world and live life on lifes' terms. Hope and the mantra "Just for today/this minute I'm not stoned. Maybe in the future but right now, I'm just breathing."

Well done so far and keep going!

Kidchameleon

Hi OP,

Good luck, one bit of advice I can offer is NOT to use legal highs (Spice, Smoke ect) from head shops to "wean" yourself off it. Makes matters FAR worse...


Regards.

LegacyUser

Was flickin through boards.ie for something else an i thought to look this up...

Similar place myself mate mid 20s and ive been smoking for 8 years.....i decided before the new year that i had to stop as ive let my smoking really escalate over the past few years....to the point where there s a serious lack of women(joke but serious),ambition and i suppose the general fruits of life which my mates seem to enjoy...u seem functional hittin work an that which is a great thing,i lacked that which is the main contributer of me giving up....u have ur reasons in ur head for y u want it,,,,write them down leave it in ur wallet(constant reminder)

Ive literally only stopped 2 days and how i can work myself into a not about wanting one is ridiculous but **** it i know im gonna feel great in a week or 2....i think the power of the mind is a crazy thing,,,,tell urself positive things when u stop,,,occupy ur time to distract those joint thoughts(finding boredom is ridiculos for wanting one)....exercise is huge ul feel great......drink loads of water and protein apparently good for when u stop....

In regards to not tellin people,,,,**** it who cares what u think they ll thinks its probably not the case....
Told my mates(the hibituals and the not),my mother an family an its actually great....cool being asked have u smoked yet and thruthfully saying no...it also just helps for some reason just them knowing im stopping as they knew i smoked anyway so what does it matter....

positive thinkin mate, dont make a bigger deal out of it than u have to, for ur own head(theres loads of us out there).....and dont sub booze or whatever else in there instead........
and remember nothing worth having is ever easy.......

best of look to u mate,getting it off ur chest is the first battle,fair play.......