Lost

LegacyUser

I have been with my partner for 12 years we have 3 kids and we have just split up he has moved out Looking back it has been a total train wreck of a relationship . he has always had a problem with alcohol and had a habit of going missing for days on end . Then he would just come back I always took him back and out up with it . He would drink and stay out all night I should have left him years ago I don’t know why I didn’t , it has gotten worse over the years but the past year has been the worst . He went missing Christmas night and didn’t come back for two days, he disappeared valentines night my birthday never around for family occasions there were too many times to mention were he would just disappear .There were also times when he didn’t drink and those were good times but it always went back to the heavy binge drinking that would last for a few weeks of hell . At the start of the summer he disappeared for 10 days and during that time i came to the conclusion that enough was enough and told him so ,I still don’t know were he was for that time he says he was just drinking he wouldn’t leave and I couldn’t go so I spent the summer basically living my own life I got a social life and started seeing friend s I had lost contact with. Last week end i was invited to a hen night in another town he basically told me not to go but I did anyways . When I got back the next day he accused me of seeing someone else ( I’m not) there was I huge fight he was drunk of course I got a few slaps not the first time, he left the house and moved back to his mothers . He is now telling everyone that will listen that he left because I was having an affair . This does bother me but the people who are important to me know the truth . I guess I am trying to come to terms with why I stayed in this relationship for so long I am worried for the future worried about how my kids will cope if he is going to go after the house and make me sell. I have a good job and have always supported the family and pay the bills with out much assistance from him so the money side isn’t a worry its just I don’t know what to do now what to tell my children how I can get past this myself .

Peggypeg

Well that is just awful, Big Hugs to you. I don't have any kids and I'm not married so I can't really advise on what to tell them etc. I'm sure you realise that your husband is an alcoholic, I would suggest that you go to Al-anon, it's a group that provides support for people who have alcoholics in their lives. I can't say strongly enough fair play for getting out of that relationship, it sounds like it's been hell. You sound like a strong person, pat yourself on the back, you got out of it, you mightn't feel like it but things will only get better. I wouldn't worry what people think, they'll probably realise that your husband is an alcoholic and they'll guess that's the real reason it broke up. I would also suggest that you tell you husband to get himself into AA, I wouldn't be happy leaving children with an active alcoholic who disappears, it would be best for all concerned if he sorted himself out. That's up to him though, all you can do is make the suggestion and then leave him to it.