Feeling blue

LegacyUser

So we were together 6 years and broke up two weeks ago. No contact has been made in between. Although it was mutual, it was mainly because he wasn't happy.
He's final words to me were "you'd never know what will happen down the line after we've had some time to ourselves"
This is all well and good, but am i fooling myself into thinking there's some chance?
The thing is I know in my heart of hearts that the two of us are meant for each other, and that's probably why i'm finding it so hard. He just doesn't seem to know what he wants. Or maybe he does any its not me.
We had a great relationship apart from stupid arguments that we just couldn't seem to resolve, and they always seemed to keep coming up.
I'm so heartbroken. I know time is a healer and all that, and i know i will get over him eventually, but at the moment i feel like i don't want to.
Are there any people out ther who have decided to break up with their long term partner both late 20's, in search of pastures greener and maybe realised that they're not so green?
I think i'm just trying to figure out if it was me that wasn't enough for him..........

snowy2008

what happened to the lead up of you breaking up? you say it was mutual, do u want him bacK?

LegacyUser

OP here
Basically i knew he wasn't completely happy and we sat down and had a conversation that lead to us deciding we should call it quits. I reached the point where i realised that he was going to resent me if he stayed in the relationship.
I'm so heartbroken though, although the no contact is probably helping a small bit.
We were constantly fighting over stupid things for the last 6 months or so, and i guess deep down it was because i knew he wasn't 100% committed.
Any guys out there been in the same position?

LegacyUser

I feel im in the same position.
Been with my OH for 3 years now, and like yourself, weve had arguments!! Nothing major. But its gotten to the stage now where were just arguing over really silly things.
The thing that annoys me is that i know were so right for eachother and I can see a future for us but because we started going out together so young I think he feels he is missing out on things! I do too but I love him more than anything in the world and I cant imagine my life without him! However i dont think he feels the same way! He finds it really hard to talk to me and tell me how he feels. All he says is that he loves me and im the only girl he has ever loved! Im dreading the thought of us breaking up! But then theres a part of me that feels that maybe it would be for the best!

jmbkay

Sorry the two of you are going through a hard time. You both know you and the OH were made for each other, but they don't seem too sure! There is little you can do except give them some "space", but don't wait around for long though. You have to get on with life as I'm sure they are. Let them miss you and hopefully, realize what they had. Best of luck.

LegacyUser

OH here again.
Sorry unreg what you're going through. its so tough. I am still finding it hard to get my head around my situation but it's been off no for a couple of weeks with no contact. I don't feel any better and still think about him constantly. At the end of the day i know it was the right decision cos he just doesn;t love me as much as i do him, and i know long term this would never work out.
As a matter of interest unreg are you still with your boyfriend? have you discussed it with him???//

LegacyUser

OP, I had something similar happen where she wasn't committed i think and she left... also felt she would have resented me if she stayed... 6 years together, late twenties... takes a while to get through but you will, you'll find that in a couple of months you won't think about him as much, and after a few more months it starts getting a lot easier when your life has adjusted to it... on my part, i met someone else after 6 months of getting through the breakup, i missed her like crazy at the time, no contact and hoped she might contact me after changing her mind or something, and now i look back on it as the best thing to have ever happened to me, even if you think that maybe you were right for each other in the 6 years, maybe you weren't, in my case looking back, yeah it was a great relationship for most of it but i've found something now that i can't compare to it... my advice is keep the head up, try and fill your time and do things that are positive for yourself, take the opportunity to enjoy yourself and spend time with your friends again, and you never know what's around the corner.. yeah it's hard, but you'll be looking back regretting feeling sorry for yourself if you don't... either way, even if he is to come back to you, you'll be a much more attractive person if you try to be positive and enjoy your life...

LegacyUser

OH Here.
Thanks for that advice beentheretoo. For some reason they really struck a chord with me.
I have to focus on myself, and if and when i do meet him again who knows what will happen.
I think a huge part of our problems stemed from my unhappiness with myself. Although i have a great career, considered good looking, good figure i don't have very much confidence and i think i may have damaged the relationship with this attitude.
So i need to 'find myself' - cliché as it sounds!!!

laura l

Broken heart wrote: »

He's final words to me were "you'd never know what will happen down the line after we've had some time to ourselves"

sounds like he has put himself in the position of being the one holding all the cards, the one who has the power to say "yes" we'll be together or "no" that's it.
"you'd never know what will happen down the line after we've had some time to ourselves" - that's a slap in the face to you after a 6 year relationship and that's the best he can come up with?!.

if he can't be decisive about you after 6 years, then let him off. there are plenty of guys out there who have no problem in being decisive about a girl.

take control back in this - let him feck off with his "you'd never know what will happen down the line after we've had some time to ourselves" rubbish, that's neither here nor there, but keeping you on hand if he suddenly decides he wants your company.

be good to yourself over the next while, focus on looking after yourself and meet up with your own friends, have nights out and enjoy yourself instead of dwelling on this. you deserve far better than someone who cannot make a decision between two kimberly biscuits. Find a man who is man enough to be decisive about you, and if your boyf of 6 yrs decides to step up to the plate, make sure he proves it.
hope it works out ok

LegacyUser

Unreg again!

Well what do ya know!!.....me and my OH broke up!!! I am in the exact same position as you and feeling the same!! He told me he needs time on his own and that he hasnt given me his all and i deserve better! He said he can see us ending up together but was that just to make me feel better i dont know! Also when he brought up the fact that we can still see eachother it both confused and upset me because i wasnt sure what exactly that meant! I really thought we were 'soulmates'!! Perfect for eachother but then again ive never had such a serious relationship and maybe theres more and better things out there that i have not yet had the chance to experience! He really was everything to me but im trying to be positive and strong for my own sake! Although i think about him every day i need to start thinking about myself and my future and happiness!!

Try and adopt this kind of view and you will be surprised how things seem! I know that you have been with this guy for a very long time but you cannot let him have such a negative effect on your life. Dont dwell. Keep saying to yourself, it was one chapter in my life, i need to begin the next.