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Boyf thinks my friends are gorgeous

  • 21-09-2009 9:42pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have a bunch of close friends that I love dearly who all happen to be gorgeous :-)
    Now Ive always told myself that while I mightn't be as attractive as them it doesn't matter as I've other things going for me. But Im with my boyf a year and a few times he has commented on how "hot" they are. I just think that is so disrespectful. He knows that I dont have a huge amount of confidence in myself, and to be honest I wonder why he is even with me sometimes, and these comments really dont help. I said to him before, look if you like them so much, go out with one of them instead of me, and he has asked on a few occasions why some of them are single as he cant understand it. FFS even writing it Im thinking that this sounds awful.

    I dont know if Im over reacting to these comments. They just make me feel second best. When I broached this subject with him before he looked horrified that i thought that, and told me how gorgeous he thinks I am, but tbh Id just prefer if he stopped telling me that my friends are gorgeous.


Comments

  • #2
    kjl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,127 ✭✭✭kjl


    I got news for you, everyone thinks they are only alright looking. I'm sure your boyfriend thinks you are the best and those comments are only made out of a male thing. I think in his own twisted way he is complementing you entire group. Just trust you boyfriend.


  • #3
    The Sweeper
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,658 ✭✭✭✭The Sweeper


    If you don't want to hear it again, tbh, tell him. You're not infringing on his basic human rights by asking him not to admire the looks of your close friends in front of you. As your self confidence grows, you will cease to be bothered by such comments. Just make sure that you then put this all behind you, and if he agrees to stop commenting on your friends, make sure you don't throw those compliments in his face while you're fighting in six months or anything.


  • #4
    RossFixxxed
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭RossFixxxed


    It depends on the nature of his comments. There is a big difference between:

    She's very attractive, I'm surprised she's single.
    AND
    Woah, she's hot, look at the arse on her, the things's I'd do! WOOOF!

    You know what I mean, it's the intent behind it. I mean we all see attractive people about the place, on TV etc. I couldn't care less once my OH hasn't the intention of doing something and isn't leering at the person.

    (Mind you the Zac Effron thing is getting a little TOO weird) :P

    But yeah, just say it to him that it is bothering you. We all have things that make us a bit paranoid/self conscious, and nearly every girl I've ever know has a few friends that they are (irrationally) paranoid about. And those friends are paranoid about someone else. You ladies seem to comare yourselves to each other a lot, and get eaten up by it. He's with you, and probably thinks you're the bees knees and the wasps err... shins.

    Is he doing it a lot? Is he being sleezy? And are the girls in question the flirty type? Are you actually nervous that THEY would do something?


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