Another internet dating question..sorry!

LegacyUser

Hi there,
I've recently been trying out this internet dating stuff over the past few months. I was really put off it after my first date - a right weirdo (I'm female btw). But with encouragement from friends, I decided to try it again.
So I've since met another 5 men. All seemed very nice. All dates were a few drinks..two went on to a club..all dates ended in a snog at the end of the nite. All of them telling me how great they think I am and that they're dying to see me again.
And then nothing.
Not a text. Not a phone call. Nothing.
I'm begining to think I'm a very bad judge of people. Surely all men can't say the same thing to a woman and not mean a word of it? All of them, by the way, were back online the day after our dates. So was I, but only to check if they were :-)!
I'm also begining to think that there might be something wrong with me.
I mean, after 4 good dates and none of them got in touch again? Am I reading them all wrong? They can't all be liars surely???
I'm enjoying meeting new people and getting some attention from men -Im recently seperated so this has really boosted my confidence.
So is it them?
Or am I doing something wrong?
Anyone tried this internet dating stuff and had similar experiences?

LegacyUser

Tried it myself last year. Biggest waste of time ever! Honestly OP, nothing but a shower of wasters online. Particularly if you're using the free sites? Stay away from them. Try going out/joining clubs etc..and all the other stuff you're told to do to meet men. Best of luck.

shellyboo

Unregistered wrote: »

So I've since met another 5 men. All seemed very nice. All dates were a few drinks..two went on to a club..all dates ended in a snog at the end of the nite. All of them telling me how great they think I am and that they're dying to see me again.
And then nothing.
Not a text. Not a phone call. Nothing.

You do realise that there's now 5 men out there thinking the exact same thing as you? Your phone also makes outgoing calls - use it next time

skooterblue

The problem with modern society is that we when we pay for something or introduce a mechanical aspect to our lives, we expect instant results.

Its hard to tell someone at the end of the night, "its been nice but I dont see it going any further than a date/dinner/kiss". Its much easier not to call.
In my experience you never meet people when you want to, and when you least want them they turn up. The more desperate you are the least likely you are to meet someone. How about trying to change life like going to the gym and be happier going out with your friends.

I was fat and over weight miserable at work and then I met a girl made her miserable. That finished. Went swimming, lost loads of weight and my mood improved and then a beautiful girl came my way, early days still but I am getting there. Stop, relax and concentrate on having fun and then something will happen

LegacyUser

But I am having fun!
And I'm not desperate for a fella etc. I just decided to try this because I've been sitting in for a few years and it was my way of 'getting back out there' so to speak.
I agree it's hard to tell someone 'this isn't going to work' at the end of the night..but surely you should say nothing and not snog the woman and not tell her she's great and not say you'll ring her the next day??
And shelly...i agree my phone works..and I text two of them the next day myself..nothing back..

shellyboo

What about the other three? Mr Right's not going to come knocking on your door, missus. You have to go get him. Men don't do all the chasing anymore.

LegacyUser

They swore they'd ring..and they didn't..so I've delted their numbers.
Im not bothered playing games with people. I'm just wondering if there's something wrong with me. There is only so much rejection a woman can handle before it becomes personal!

Miss Fluff

I have been online dating on and off for a while now and have had some hilarious high jinks and antics as well as meeting some right oddballs as well. Take it with a healthy pinch of salt.

I think before agreeing to meet someone, exchange a few emails/MSN/phonecalls over a few weeks. Don't just jump at all date invites, worth chatting to someone a bit first and getting to know them a little bit before agreeing to meet them.

And have fun and be safe. I think it is great you are meeting people and it is boosting your confidence. HOWEVER, the fact that you have now met 5 different men and deemed all 5 of them worthy of a 2nd date with you would suggest that you may be a teensy bit desperate?? Hate to say it but by the law of averages I would have thought all my Christmases had come at once if I wanted to see one out of the 5 again let alone all of them? A first date is just that. It's sussing someone out and if they don't do it for you/doesn't feel right, then nobody should feel unduly hurt after just one date.

LegacyUser

oh crap. I never thought of it like that!
I don't think I come across as desperate!
God now you have me worried!

LegacyUser

Miss Fluff wrote: »

. HOWEVER, the fact that you have now met 5 different men and deemed all 5 of them worthy of a 2nd date with you would suggest that you may be a teensy bit desperate?? Hate to say it but by the law of averages I would have thought all my Christmases had come at once if I wanted to see one out of the 5 again let alone all of them? A first date is just that. It's sussing someone out and if they don't do it for you/doesn't feel right, then nobody should feel unduly hurt after just one date.

Agree totally here...
I have had LOTS of experience with dating sites.. I'm male BTW...I have met LOADS and LOADS of girls...I mean LOTS...very very very few was I interested in seeing again..let alone snog on the first date...so it is strange that you were interested in all four and snogged them..very strange...
I am now with a girl I met online and all is well and the fact she DIDN'T want to snog the face off me for first couple of dates was appealing to me...I met a few that lunged in for a snog at end of first date...there was no second date :-) Might seem strange but that's just me..it didnt feel right, even if I kinda liked them !!

As has been said .. first dates are an opportunity to see if you might get on with that person..no more..second date would be more like a traditional first date...so tread carefully..

I would just relax and dont go head first in...if they like you they WILL chase...

Best of luck with it

And as for the poster earlier who said that online dating is a waste of time and simply full of weirdos....you're SO wrong mate...lots of lovely guys and girls out there..it's weeding out the weirdos thats the hard part..thats why its important to take your time...

Miss Fluff

You may not be desperate (and it is a horrible word anyway so let's not use it) but you MAY be lowering your standards unnecessarily. I am the opposite and have ridiculously high standards and am far too fussy for my own good which is a whole thread all in itself. It is all about finding a balance.

I know someone else who is online dating and everyone she has met doesn't call and she has her feelings hurt EVERY TIME. She is so desperate for a boyfriend she invests a huge amount of herself in every date. I would view online dating as being proactive about being single and it is merely another dimension of how to meet people - not the sole source of men/your only chance of meeting someone!!

Chillax and enjoy it and don't take it so seriously!

skooterblue

One thing about site where you have to pay means that the person you serious about meeting someone else. this can dramatically reduce the amount of time wasters you encounter

LegacyUser

Hey, Im in a similar situation as you. I have meet two guys that I have met online but I have found the experience a little unnatural, you meet a stranger and they know stuff about you from your email conversations. Best attitude is to have fun, if you dont expect anything in the first place, it would be a pleasent surprise to click with someone and go on a 2nd date, have been on 2 dates myself so far. First guy text the following day to say he wasnt interested, was a little hurt but then appreciated his honestly. 2nd guy I met last week, we mailed practically every day for 3 week - excessive I know. When we met I really wasnt attracted to him so I was delighted not to hear from him and have to give an awkward brush off. I suppose its a faster filtering process than meeting guys in clubs/pubs.. laws of averages, one of them have to work out. So, what I am trying to say is keeping meeting guys and dont expect too much and then one of the guys will be a keeper. I know a few people that have met online Best of luck

LegacyUser

I have to disagree when you say that on the law of averages, snoggin all 5 of the men I've met (over the last 7 months mind you!) would be excessive. Why would it be any different than snoggin a guy you meet in a pub/club at the end of the nite? And in each case, they came onto me!
I've decided to stop the internet stuff for the moment - I'm not sure its for me afterall