The way I was dumped!! :( Think I'm still in shock!!

LegacyUser

Met a friend of a friend (in 30's) about year ago, we hooked up and kept hooking up, I have to say I did like him and all was well, meet up, few pints back to his place, most weekends once twice a week for the past year... I knew it was not a serious relationship but we had FUN and he was a good friend.

Friday go to a gig, few pints, off to a hotel he had booked.... Had sex, sex and more sex as you do Great night. Sun started to come up and I say need to get some sleep, He hops in the shower and gets dressed, I say where are you off too (thinking hes off to get breakfast), He says "Don't call or sms anymore" and off he went!!! I've been dumped.

I was in SHOCK... and of course texted him (I am a stupid girl) few times, Things like how could you be so cruel, nasty, I rang him he would not answer, texted him to call me for 2 mins.. But no... Anyway the last sms I sent him sat am was something like, Thanks for the great night, memorable anyway your already deleted, Would have been cheaper to dump me by text or over a pint, nicer too THE END...

So not only have I lost my FB but a friend too. I was very upset saturday but put that down to shock!

Think I would have preferred to be dumped by text!!! How could someone I thought was a nice person go to such trouble to be so cruel?

Anyway life goes on! Plenty more fish in the sea.... Think it will be a while before I go fishing again!!!

lycopodium123

jesus, that is the worst I've heard in a looooooooooooong time! what a pr!ck, not to mention a coward!
i can well believe you're in shock........

Andrea B.

Have you read fully between the lines here?

It sounds very like he was out to hurt you and make you feel as low as possible, for whatever reason (adjusts tie and leaves with a "thank you darling").

Is there any possibility that (he being "friend of friend") he could think he was being made a fool of, or that he was fed misinformation?

LegacyUser

Sounds like a lucky escape for you in a lot of ways!

Treat yourself extra nice for the next while and make sure the next guy you get with is a nice guy!

Forget about that weird scumbag. He's obviously messed up in the head if he treats people with as little respect as that. Fair enough, maybe he wanted one more night with you before ending it but Jesus, to say it like that on his way out was crass and pathetic.

Miss Fluff

God you poor thing, how awful! Did he give any indication as to WHY he just suddenly didn't want anything more to do with you? Have you spoken to this mutual friend of yours?

LegacyUser

OP here, Thanks for the support, I have to say my girlfriends (all married they never met him so don't know him) have been great too... I am sure his ears have been burning!! As one of them said imagine getting dumped while NAKED!!! I think its the lowest of the low! Think thats why I posted it on the internet, a problem shared!

Anyway It is the worst way of getting dumped that I have ever heard off and it happened to me! (sometimes I think it never happened and I had a nightmare!)

Andrea B... Reading between the lines there is nothing to read a friend of a friend was just his best friend an ex-co-worker of mine.

He was definately out to hurt me and succeeded (for a short while anyway) I really did nothing to deserve this, I've never hurt him or would dream of hurting him, I think I lead a quite and uneventful life, a nice girl, sometimes too nice for my own good! there is no-one else involved no gossip that would be going around.

Looking back on this yes I did have a lucky escape... What turned this nice, kind lovely fella that I had lots of good times/memories/laughs with into a callous cruel person I will never know.

WHY this happened, your guess is a good as mine and the only one that knows is him and he chose not to tell me. (could be a million & one reasons... I'm too loud/ quite... short, tall, who knows...maybe he met someone else..) I am not wasting my time thinking WHY?? Life's too short..

I have no intention of asking mutual friend why? And I have no intention of bad mouthing him and lowering my standards. If I ever do bump into him I will keep my dignity and smile!

What I wish happened, go for coffee, spit it out and use whatever lame excuse its not you its me... Blah blah blah & then he could run!!!! We could have stayed friends if he wanted or not and I would have some nice memories!

Anyway time to move on with life..

LegacyUser

Tried to update this earlier no sign of post

Wibbs

Apologies. Sometimes there's a delay in approval of posts. Real life gets in the mods way:)

Johnnnybravo

I actually couldnt believe this when I read it.

Glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better today op:) Nobody deserves to be dumped like that its really horrible. But we could talk all evening on what he should have done. Dont let this put you off meeting other fellas anyway. Im sure down the line at some stage its a story you`l tell and get a laugh off. There are plenty nice guys out there. This guy sounds like he has serious head issues.

LegacyUser

Had something similar happen.
This guy was very actively pursuing me for ages.
We went out a few times but I wasn't overly interested in him.

Anyway, one night had a few too many beers and we ended up in bed.
It lasted all of 2 minutes (him) and when he'd finished he practically ran out the door.
If you think i'm being overly dramatic I'm not! He actually left his sock behind. He was in such a panic. Just mumbled something like "I shouldn't be here".
I was so gobsmacked and I'll admit my confidence took a serious knock (am I that bad in bed?).

Turns out he was still trying to get his ex back and was afraid she'd find out about him being with someone else (as she left because he cheated).

Whatever the reason for it, what a knob!!!!!!!!

My only regret is that I didn't get to dump him after the atrocious sex! He still texts and calls now and then. I ignore all the time. He really is just a loser as is the guy in your OP.

LegacyUser

By the way, myself and my friends now refer to him as "the sock monster" and he's a great topic of conversation around the table after a few drinks for a laugh!

opinion guy

hey op. sucks he did this to you.
if i'd have to guess i'd say he started dating some poor unfortunate and thought he should lose the FB (I hope u ok that i say this and i'm not making u feel worse). focking dispicable behaviour. no excuse for it.

[Jackass]

It could be any number of things....maybe he discovered he had feelings for you he didn't want to have and cut the cord immediatley as he wasn't ready / doesn't want that...maybe he met somebody else, it could be any number of things, but the most important thing to note is that his sh*t got in the way, it's very unlikely that it's anything you did or said, but his own personal stuff....it's a tough one to take, but just try to forget him and move on.

opinion guy

Jackass speaks much sense

LegacyUser

OmG that suckkkkkkks. What a d!ck. And he gave you no explanation at all?

If I was in your shoes I probably would have texted him and rang him too. Just to try to get an answer like.

Maybe he met someone else? Could you find out through the friend you met him through more about it?

I hope you are feeling better now, eeeeek is right, treat yourself real nice for the next while. Go shopping, go out with your girlfriends, get a massage, whatever things you like the best.

LegacyUser

You think thats bad......

My partner moved into his new house and the same day rang me up and told me to Go Away........

I was supposed to move in with him....

AND Im the mother of his child

These men are not worth wasting tears on....

To the OP, you have had a lucky escape,, Imagine done the road you could have kids with him and he could just up and leave

opinion guy

soannoyed wrote: »

.....Maybe he met someone else? Could you find out through the friend you met him through more about it?

ARHGHGHGHGHG no!!!! Don't do that. Why torture herself ? Why give him the satisfaction ? She knows all she needs to know - he's a slimeball and not worth the time of day

LegacyUser

So True opinion guy.. I know all I need to know!

True again Jackass.... Its not me it was HIM...

I am fine, Plenty more fish in the sea, Keep smiling, Thinking positive...

If I think of it now, I am thinking of how he ran.

And If I ever do bump into him again, I shall be thinking RUN, RUN, RUN.


Moral of the story: If your going to dump someone Male/Female...Don't be a coward, grow a pair of balls & do it nicely!

LadyJ

Some people just like to make others feel like shít because it makes them feel like they are powerful and in control. In fact, some men actually try to chat up women by insulting them these days because they think it'll lead the woman to trying to make them like her. They think it makes them seem cool, dominant and dismissive (they also think that this is what attracts women). These people are cock-knockers, plain and simple.

They generally have a very high opinion of themselves and think of themselves as "players". I'm sure you know what I mean, no point saying anymore about it.

The point is, it doesn't matter why this particular cock-knocker did what he did. He did it and he is pathetic. Don't give him a second thought or the time of day. Whatever he got out of it, let him have it because one day his cockiness and arrogance will lead to him getting hit very, very hard either by some woman he's fúcked around with or some guy who he gets smart with. Either way, he's in for a sad life because he's obviously unhappy with himself if he needs to treat others like crap to get kicks.

LegacyUser

LadyJ wrote: »

cockiness and arrogance

He's a tw#t it was pure cockiness and arrogance, powered by you giving him cheap, easy sex.
The whole FB thing, never ever works out well, men have zero respect for woman who become FB's.
I've seen great friends hate each other, because they became FB's he lost respect for her as a person and the friendship ended.
Guys going out with girls for years and dump them because they found out they had a FB in the past.

Ladies you wouldn't hear it from your FB but it is the truth, pretty much universal in my wide experience. Men see FBs as glorified sluts.

Wibbs

I wouldn't agree with that. I can see where you're coming from and would say that many men do feel like that but may not admit it, but that's not nearly the whole story. I would say to women to be very very careful telling a man about your sexual past in general. Some will be fine and appreciate the honesty. Most will say they're fine but it will throw them IMHO and some will look down their nose at you. Men I would say similar to, but less so. There does exist a double standard and diff way of looking at this as a general thing.

I've had three FBs in my life. All of them I respected and hopefully they felt the same as me. The buddy part was the most important part though. The f**k part was the lesser. Only in one case did one want more and that's when it ended for both our sakes. Communication was paramount and if I met those women today I would still respect them and look back on those times with some fondness and as good for both.

I would never have done what the OP's "man" did to someone I knew, never mind a FB. That was particularly cruel and shabby. What was going through his head I can't imagine. If he was drunk or a lovers tiff in hot blood I wouldn't condone, but I could comprehend. But in cold blood to leave the morning bed of a person you've known for a long time and do that? The mind boggles. I know OP you've been told and you now see you dodged a bullet. I just want to add my 2 cents and say you've dodged a ballistic missile.