Can me and him make each other happy?

Giggy

Me and my boyfriend seem to annoy each other a lot sometimes. We're together nearly 5 years and on the verge of moving in together (I bought a house, he's moving in). So he's been in a big mood lately and I just can't stand it, I'm a fairly happy person and don't like whinging and pessimism. I'm obviously annoying him in some way but I don't want to even try and cheer him up because he's annoying me so much with his stupid mood. You might say this is over the house and it probably is this time but he gets in a mood over lots of stuff that I wouldn't cos I'm prob more laid back. I just don't know if we're suited when this happens, should the person you're meant to be with not put you in a good mood?

CDfm

Ooops OP .

You are supposed to think about the other persons happiness and their happiness makes you happy. So its your house.Are you sure you haven't lorded that over him a little bit and made him nervous.

Not saying you have for a moment but it does change the relationship a bit so talk to him.

SarahSassy

Have you asked him whats up? Maybe he is feeling a bit of pressure about moving in. Do not move him into your house til you have gotten to the bottom of this. Sadly, in this archaic country, he 'may' in the future a claim on your house if ye have lived there as common law husband and wife and then split up. As such, it needs to be perfect before he moves in... Its all about protecting yourself here so its time to sit down and ask him. If he has no valid reason for being down then tell him to cop on and get over his moodiness.

Giggy

CDfm wrote: »

You are supposed to think about the other persons happiness.

I know, but that's why I thought I should make him happy because I'm not a down person, and I'm definitely not acting like I'm lord of the manor cos I've even been telling him that it's gonna be our house and it wouldn't be the same without him in it. So I don't know what I can do, and now I guess I am fed up of trying to make him snap out of it.

I know he might have a right to half my house if we do get married, and that never bothered me cos I thought well if we will be getting married in the future I'll want the house to be his too but I guess this moodiness is just turning me off.

How Strange

I think you two need to sit down and trash this out especially if you're moving in together and are planning to marry in the future.

Bite the bullet and have an adult discussion. I know it's not a nice thought because you mightn't like what you hear.

There are lots of possible reasons why he may be moody but you need to talk to him. You also need to get it off your chest that you find his moodiness difficult to deal with.

Believe me, living together can be tough at times even when you are getting on well because you see each other 24/7 so it will certainly be tough if he's constantly moody.

CDfm

Jeez Giggy. You are getting a mortgage to buy a house,no doubt, and the bank will own it anyway.Where does he currently live- his own place or with parents?Maybe someone is winding him up about being a kept man or something.

Ok - I can get that he has the heebeegeebees moving in anyone would. Its a big thing. Isn't he so lucky to have a sucessful girlfriend who has a house.

So he is nervous and a bit grumpy at the prospect. Its your house but it will be his home when the move happens. So its about sharing cupboard space and stuff and toothpaste. I think Mr Grumpy has been wound up and has gotten all defensive and shy.So maybe its because things are moving at a different pace than he expected.People hate change.

My girlfriend has sort of moved in and from though its almost a year in the begining she made sure I kept up my own activities and life so the blend has been nice. What about him having friends around or going out with the boys.

So dont worry, have you talked about where his stuff will go and his computer etc and sports gear etc. What are you doing about billshare etc.

I also have a much nicer life and better quality shampoo.Things like sharing a bathroom etc are a big deal for some people.

opinion guy

ok i'm struck by your thread title - can me and him make each other happy?

i think if you are looking for someone else to make you happy you have a problem from the outset. only one can make you happy is you. only one who can make him happy is him. sometimes two people with their own happiness make each other even more happy, but i doubt anyone ever makes someone else happy (barring the oh what a lovely expensive gift type of temporary happyness)

CDfm

How Strange wrote: »

Believe me, living together can be tough at times

Not at all ,think of the sex;)

It takes a while and the only way you know is to suck it and see.

When you have you first argument over whose turn it is to clean the loos -thats real pressure.

whac

your looking for someone else to make you happy, people aren't ideal and wont fill a gap inside you to make you happy.

susanna

OP, did you and your boyfriend discuss buying a house together? Maybe he feels a bit put out by the fact that you're buying alone (which is a big deal) and he doesn't feel part of it?

Also, will he be paying you rent, or paying towards the mortgage? If its rent, maybe he feels weird about being his girlfriend's 'tenant'? Not saying he shouldn't pay his way, of course he should, but it has to be an arrangement you're both comfortable with.

Whatever is making him moody, he should be honest with you. Sounds like you need to have a talk and clear the air. Good luck and I hope you sort it all out.

Giggy

K so we had a talk, things are much better now. He got some stuff off his chest and it was a lot to do with the house and wanting it to be his home and feeling a bit insecure that it was my house. Think I reassured him cos the mood is gone and we're getting on like a house on fire again. Even feel a bit guilty for posting in the first place. He bottles things up too much, it's hard to get it out of him what's bothering him. Thanks everyone for your opinions.

And yes the sex will be great fun when we move in together