Marrying Abroad, who pays for guests flights?

katetehblue

My Fiance and I are amongst other things, considering having our wedding in the US. Our wedding party will be rather small (20 or so people) and I was wondering what the correct ettiquette would be for flights and hotels for our guests?

As we've decided to have our wedding abroad, is it only proper that we should pay the airfair and hotels for everyone? Or would it be acceptable to pay for hotels for a couple of nights around the wedding and give them something towards the price of the plane ticket?

We'd love, if we decided to go ahead with this, to have these people there with us, but can't really afford to be paying for 20 people to have a two week holiday on us.

Thanks in advance. x

Kintarō Hattori

They're your friends and family. If they really want to be there they'll find a way and they should pay. At some point in time myself and the missus will be getting married in Poland and we won't be paying for folk to come.

It's your big day, they are invited to share it with you, it's up to them to pay.

blinding

If your a banker NAMA

If people want to go to the wedding then surely they will pay for their own. Try to pick someplace that people can afford to go to though.

messrs

they pay themselves - no reason why you should have to pay for them, maybe if you wanted to pay for both your parents, but thats only if its somethign you want to do and as it is over here im sure there would be cheaper accomodation close to your hotel venue so if the feel hotel is 2 pricy, they can find something cheaper close by - maybe if good few going they could look into renting an apartment for the week - would work out a lot cheaper between them

Tabnabs

Having been to two foreign weddings, it's the guests who pay for themselves. As someone else mentioned, try to be a bit considerate and don't have it in an awkward place.

But one piece of etiquette which is regularly overlooked is to let the guests know that the only present you want from them is for them to make the journey out and be there on your special day. IMHO it's far too much to expect them to pay for everything and then expect a few hundred quid on presents too. Let them know early on and then you may have more guests too!

keefg

I got married in the US and there were 16 guests there from Ireland, everyone paid for their own flights & accom except our parents who we paid for.

Everyone was happy enough because they just treated it as a holiday and it just happened that they had a wedding to go to as well.

LauraLoo

they should pay but maybe what you could do is, when you send out the invitations send out two or three options of accomodations so you can have one budget, one standard and one luxury.

Eoin

Do you not pay any portion of the groomsmen's / bridesmaids' expenses?

The Big Red Button

As far as I know the guests pay for themselves, however you should do your best to make it as straightforward for them as possible by forwarding them details and prices of flights, and of accommodation in the area for different budgets. Also see if you could get any kind of group deal if you arrange to all book together.

Also make sure they know the dates well in advance - it's a bit of an American thing, but you could send a "save-the-date" card about a year in advance so they'll have plenty of time to plan the time off work and get finances in order, etc.

As someone else said, you should mention in the invitation that "your presence is your present" or similar, as it's a bit much to expect them to purchase gifts for you in addition to coming for the wedding.

prinz

Getting married abroad soon, and guests are paying their own way, that's to Europe, and only because the bride to be is foreign so it's in her home country and town.

However going as far as America, just for the sake of it seems a bit odd to me, and a bit much if you then expect people to go.

toadfly

Was at a wedding in malta this year, we paid for our own and as there was no mention of not giving a gift we felt obliged to even though we really couldnt afford it with going away for the week, wedding outfit, 7 days off work as flights only went thursday & tuesday and wedding was on a tuesday. thought there should have been something on the invite in regard to the present.

tinkerbell

No, you would not pay for anybody's flights or hotel. Just tell guests that you do not expect a present as them coming abroad is a present enough, etc.

galah

Usually, the guests pay their own tickets and hotels. However, try and give them choices for smaller budgets and bigger budgets, try to be close to a 'common(er)' flight route, and be as accomodating as you can.

We got married 6 weeks ago in Germany (August bank holiday in Ireland - our guests only had to take half a day off work, max), and while Ryanair f*cked us about a couple of times by cancelling routes/rescheduling their flights, it worked out ok for our guests - they had a choice of 3 airports, two Ryanair ones, and one Aerlingus one - and since we sent out our invites about 6 months before the wedding, flights were to be had cheaply. We also provided airport shuttle services - chartered a bus to pick everyone up, and bring them back to the airport after the weekend. Also got a bus to bring everyone from the hotels to the venue, and organised taxis from the venue back to the hotels...

It took a LOT of organising, but it was worth it, and made the whole experience much more enjoyable for our guests, since they didn't have to worry about transport n stuff in a foreign country.

Dee_animallover

No you do not have to pay for the guests (unless your loaded and want to ) Its an invitation to attend not a court order!
We are getting married next year in Malta, picked Malta as flights are reasonable, small island so anywhere is only 30 mins max from airport and its dirt cheap. And its a beautiful country and weather is hot.
We will prob try and do something though esp for parents and bridesmaids and groomsmen. Maybe pay a bit towards flight & accom, dunno will see how the budget is. Also will be putting on free bus from the airport and to/from the venue. Hope to have a few hours of a free bar also.

starbelgrade

Dee_animallover wrote: »

Its an invitation to attend not a court order!

Wedding invitations are like invoices - they should come in windowed envelopes.