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how to get my bf to talk about our future?

  • 15-09-2009 3:41pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi
    I've been in a great relationship for the past 6yrs with my boyfriend, we have lived together 3yrs, and have spent the past 2yrs traveling around the world so we have done the traveling thing!

    We have a great relationship, and I know some of you are going to say why change a good thing, but I am ready to take the relationship to the next level and I have been ready for the past 3years!
    I don't want to push him into marriage so i have not pushed this subject on him.

    He is a very private person and pretty much lives for today, he hates planning ahead. so it is very hard for me to get him talking about our future. i do know that he does want to get married someday and have kids but when I want to go further on the conversation he has no interest in taking it any further.

    How do i get him to open up about marriage and about our future? Is this something all couples discuss before getting engaged? I know he is type of guy that would love to just suprise me out of blue with a proposal and I would like that too but after 6yrs together I'm at the stage that I need to know if I will be waiting another 6yrs for this suprise- iykwim!

    The main reasons i want to get married are for security and I would like to start a family in the next couple of years and I guess I'm a little traditional and I would like us to be married first. I have no interest in a big day out or anything like that.

    I guess i am looking for advice from anyone in a similar situations, should I try get him to talk about our future or just let him realise it on his own and when he is ready he will talk to me about it?
    all advice will be appreciated!
    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    SarahSassy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    Ah you sound lovely....

    Why not, some evening ye are relaxing at home, just ask him how he envisages his future and take it from there. You have a right to know what he wants and if you want the same thing so you can make plans for your own future.

    Just chat to him, like you would a friend and if he refuses to answer tell him then you need to know and explain why...

    Good luck,


  • #3
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    You do sound lovely - and patient!!

    I had 'the conversation' with my bf - now husband, when we were together around 2 years. I asked him what his thoughts for the future were, he said he didnt know and I said that that was ok, but that Id like him to have a think about it cos while I was having fun I needed to think about my own future and where I was going with him. I said there was no panic but Id like to reconsider things in a year or so, just to make sure we were both singing off the same hymn sheet you know? So the following year he proposed out of the blue, then we ended up with a 2 year engagement, I had no rush on me btw, I just wanted to know what the future held, and I had be open with him about that.


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