Dilemma over living arrangements

LegacyUser

Hello
I just need to know if people think it's madness not to live with someone you know?
Briefly, my sister lives about 3 miles away from my Uni and I'm looking for shared accomm about a mile away from Uni. Evreyone I talk to assumes we're going to be living together. We get on each other's nerves if we're together for a long time but I've heard that's normal. She has a room in her flat at the minute and I'm unsure if I want to live that far from Uni.
My 'dilemma' is whether it is better to live with someone you know than with strangers even if it's a bit inconvenient?
Help!

Terodil

You need to get your own life now. If you stay with your sister again you'll not get to know new people and be stuck in the old ways for another few years. That's a recipe for disaster for both you and your sister (the relationship sounds already strained) and for your personal development.

Move out, find another place, if you can afford it at all.

dudara

You're prefectly justified in not wanting to live with your sister. Some siblings can, and others can't.

Miaireland

I would get your own place nearer Uni if you can afford to. I shared with my brothe rand people I knew from my hometown in my first year in Uni and to be honest although I don't regret it, I wouldn't do it again if I had my time over.

I found that I made loads more friends by sharing with strangers and that I ended up having a better relationship with my brother.

Beruthiel

I love my sisters. But I could never, ever live with them.

cafecolour

In 15+ years of sharing flats, I've only never gotten along well with one person I lived with - my sister

There's something about living with family or such where you don't quite put up the same (necessary) politeness as you do with everyone else.

I am in the exact same situation. I struggled with the decision for ages, and I decided to just live with my sister. She had found a great 2 bed place and it seemed silly for me to spend time and money searching for somewhere with strangers. I've had some good experiences sharing with randomers, but some really awful ones too. I was in a situation earlier in the year where I really didn't get on with my flatmate and it was a nightmare. I'm not best mates with my sister but at least I feel comfortable around her. I'm sure it will be far from ideal but I can think of as many pros and cons. I plan to make friends in my class and by joining societies - there's no guarantee the people you live with will become friends anyway.

Monkey61

I'd be inclined so say better the devil you know but that is because I hate living with strangers. Like anything though, it can either go really well or really badly and there is no way that you can predict it ahead of time.

But then only you know how well or not you will get on with your sister and whether you would be relaxed around her in your own home etc.

You could try living with your sister and then at least you will know if it works or not. Then if it doesn't you can move out with strangers. That way if it doesn't and you live with strangers and it doesn't work out either, you won;t face the same dilemma again - you will just know that you have to try living with different strangers. At least if you give living with your sister a go now, you will know forever whether it works or not.

3 miles is not very far away anyway and is a perfectly walkable distance.

VaioCruiser

unregistered wrote: »

My 'dilemma' is whether it is better to live with someone you know than with strangers even if it's a bit inconvenient?
Help!

It is perfectly normal and justified to live with your sister. It is a LOT cheaper in your current circumstances also. Will there be tensions ? yes, but you can both learn to deal with them. Then after a while together, you can reassess the situation and decide if you are happy or would prefer to get your own place.
Getting your own place would be good for you - encourage you to widen your social group and take on wider challenges. But there is no hard in taking it one step at a time.

All the best.

Xiney

If I had to live with my sister I'd probably kill her.

You are entirely justified in wanting to live somewhere else.