wedding Proposal???

poochie2009

hey guys and girls,
im thinking of asking my longterm girlfriend of marrying me but i could do with some advice on the ring side of it..
is it better to buy the engagement ring myself or it it better to go togethor as a couple and pick the ring out?i know friends that have done both and worked out just fine but im a liitel nervous about getting her a ring she may not like!!!:o

Creamy Goodness

buy a pack of johnnie onion rings.

if she says yes then go buy a proper ring together.
if she eats and says no the worst case is you're down 70c

g'em

moved from tLL

Khannie

I went down the pre-purchase route. It was really nice to have the ring to bedazzle her with. Had some trouble covertly getting her ring size but that was about it. If you're concerned with getting the wrong ring it's difficult to go far wrong with a solitaire IMO. Just make sure you get the right metal (gold if she likes gold, etc. etc.).

Learn a bit about diamonds too. It's worth the effort.

The Big Red Button

It's different for every couple.

My fiance and I went shopping for the ring the weekend after he proposed to me, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. He had booked a fabulous hotel, we had a lovely weekend together, and the whole experience was just amazing. It also gave us time to get used to being engaged and to celebrate together before telling anyone else. Also he proposed to me again the day after we bought the ring, just so he could get down on one knee again but with the ring this time!

I would honestly have been quite disappointed if he had bought the ring himself, as the experience of going round the shops and trying on all the different styles of rings was really fun. If he had bought it already, it could have been the most amazing ring in the world, but I'd have had a little niggling bit of doubt in my mind as to whether a different ring might have suited me better. And (hopefully!) shopping for an engagement ring is a one-off event, she'll never get to do it again in her life, so if it were me I'd feel I'd missed out a bit. I know the ring isn't the main thing about getting engaged, but at the same time you're going to be looking at it every day for the rest of your life - you need to be sure it's the right one.

However my fiance knew how I felt about all this, as we'd discussed getting engaged long before he actually proposed.

If you don't want to go down on one knee empty-handed, you could always have a box with a cheap ring from Claire's Accessories, or a nice pair of earrings or something!

So basically, unless you're certain that you know exactly what style of ring suits her (this may turn out to be different than either of you think!), and you're certain that she'd prefer for you to pick out the ring in advance, I'd definitely advise you to propose first and then go shopping for the ring together.

Good luck!

prinz

How can you not have an idea what she'd like? What kind of fashion is she into? What is the rest of her jewellery like? If you think about it you have to have some idea, if you have had any length of a relationship, you say it's longterm, are you trying to say in all that time she never mentioned what kind of rings/necklaces/bracelets etc she likes? Does she like simpler pieces, elegant or classy, or does she like more flashy and showoff type pieces?

However my fiance knew how I felt about all this, as we'd discussed getting engaged long before he actually proposed.

+1.

Curnacrieve

My Fiancee, sure I have spelt that wrong but however, and I picked out the ring together and it was a lovely experience. As has already been said your girlfiriend will have to look at it for the rest of her life so you would need to be pretty sure about her tastes. Afriend of mine recently got engaged and her boyfriend picked out a dimante ring, costs about 100 sterling for the actual moment they then picked a ring together. If you do it that way you have may have all bases covered. How are you going to propose?
Best of luck

Eoin

Why not buy an inexpensive ring you can present her with, and then choose the proper one together later.

00112984

prinz wrote: »

How can you not have an idea what she'd like? What kind of fashion is she into? What is the rest of her jewellery like? If you think about it you have to have some idea, if you have had any length of a relationship, you say it's longterm, are you trying to say in all that time she never mentioned what kind of rings/necklaces/bracelets etc she likes? Does she like simpler pieces, elegant or classy, or does she like more flashy and showoff type pieces?

:rolleyes: @ this. I presume you've never had to pick out a piece of jewellery for yourself that will sit on your finger for the rest of your life?

There are so many different types of ring out there that it's very hard to know what suits until you try a few on. Personally, I always thought I wanted a princess-cut solitaire but, once I tried on a few, I found that a different type suited by hand much better and it was a style I'd never have even thought about but fell in love with once I saw it in the shop.

OP- when we got engaged, I got to pick out my own ring and loved every second of the experience. I got to spend ages trying on loads of different styles, picked the one I wanted and then we went for a lovely meal and had a bottle of something bubbly to celebrate.
If I had to do it all again tomorrow, I'd still want to pick out my own.

prinz

00112984 wrote: »

:rolleyes: @ this. I presume you've never had to pick out a piece of jewellery for yourself that will sit on your finger for the rest of your life? There are so many different types of ring out there that it's very hard to know what suits until you try a few on..

Yeah I'll be picking out the wedding band for myself, and I know now exactly what I want.:rolleyes: I picked out my fiancées ring and she was delighted with it for two reasons, 1. she got her ring and 2. because if she were to pick a ring herself she would have picked a ring identical to the one I got. You know why? Because we had talked about it, and she told me what kind of ring she'd like to have. Roll away.

emma82

I'd advise proposing with a wee cheapie ring- something simple out of Claires Accessories or you can get a ring from jewellers for about €100 (personally I'd rather put the €100 towards the proper ring- but each to their own!)

Theres a big difference to looking (gazing or dribbling) at rings in the jewellers windows and being told- ok we're here to buy. Yes some guys may know exactly what their OH wants but others may not. I didn't know what I wanted myself so it would be hard for my OH to know!!!

Also the buying of the ring is an experience in itself and we both really enjoyed it!

Good Luck!!

The Big Red Button

emma82 wrote: »

Theres a big difference to looking (gazing or dribbling) at rings in the jewellers windows and being told- ok we're here to buy. Yes some guys may know exactly what their OH wants but others may not. I didn't know what I wanted myself so it would be hard for my OH to know!!!

I completely agree with this. My fiance and I had often looked into jewellers windows and picked out rings we both liked, so if he'd gone shopping on his own he'd have probably picked out exactly the type of ring I thought I'd like. The thing is, when we went shopping together and I tried on those rings, they were "nice" on me ... but that was about it. If he'd gotten me one, well I'd have liked it and all, I could definitely have lived with it ... but I wouldn't have been blown away with it at the same time! The style of ring we ended up getting wasn't all that different to what we had originally picked out, but it was a little bit different and I seriously love it!

I don't doubt that plenty of fellas have picked out the perfect engagement ring on their own, and I can understand why some girls would rather have the man buy the ring before proposing - it's just not what every girl wants, and it's up to you to figure out which way your girlfriend would like you to do it. Most girls feel pretty strongly one way or the other, so if you bring up the subject even vaguely she'll probably make it pretty clear if she'd like to pick her own ring or not!

Haru

Like most of the people here, I think you should buy a cheap ring first and then have a look at a proper one together. That would avoid any disappointment considering it's going to be a ring she'll cherish all her life.

Good luck anyway, that's going to be a great moment !

DublinWriter

Right. Solitaire .75ct diamond, good clarity, gold ring, 6 claw mount, you shouldn't get much change out of 3K.

You'll get the best value at large chains, such as Ernest Jones. Avoid the small independent shops.

It's a classic design and 9 out of 10 wimmins seem to like them.

Avoid cluster-diamond rings or anything too colourful or funky.

Most importantly, check with the jeweller as to return options.

mollybird

i'm going out with my fella 3 years now. after listening ot what eveyone has said i'm now not sure what way id like him to propose (hoping next year) his mother was asking when was he going jewelary shopping but said it wouldn't be this year cause his two mates did. anyway i finally found style of ring i love. but feel i should let him know the style i like.

i don't like the idea of him giving me a cheapie ring when he goes down on one knee for teh first time and i don't like the idea of going shopping for it either like my bro did.

i would love to tell him what kinda ring i like without pressuring him.

it's a once in a lifetime experience and i guess something that has to be thought through carefully.

Flump

i agree, the whole cheap ring proposal isn't my cuppa tea but each to their own.
We had talked about getting engaged before the event, i had wanted to be part of the ring purchase, my OH wanted to have the 'actual' ring himself to propose so we went out a few months earlier, got my finger sized and tried on a few different styles. we pretty much knew which ring was the one, so my OH organised the ring on his own and planned the proposal time/location on his own.
even though i knew what the ring would look like it was very romantic and i loved having my ring right from the start.

best of luck with what ever you decide

poochie2009

cheers all for all the advice..even though PRINZ comments were what i expect from certain people in this country...i know my OH inside out but even at that,buying a ring is a big deal and we are not the type of couple that chat and chat about the day we get married..eveni though there would be loads of little hints and smiles!!
i think she would like me to buy the ring myself and suprise her so i will spend some time and thought and look around.im going to london in two weeks and look around there.
on a side note..her best friend rang last night and she got engaged...might have to leave a gap for the excitement of that to calm down..agree?

The Big Red Button

In that case, it might be an idea to bring the best friend with you when you go shopping, as she'll know a bit about rings having just got her own, and she'll also have a fair idea of your OH's taste!


I wouldn't worry about leaving too much of a gap if this is the right time for you to get engaged ... just don't go announcing it at the best friend's engagement party or anything!!!

prinz

poochie2009 wrote: »

cheers all for all the advice..even though PRINZ comments were what i expect from certain people in this country...

Care to expand on that?

All I was saying is that IMO going out and getting a ring she would like shouldn't be that difficult. I would definitely suggest getting it yourself, if she likes it it's major brownie points for you.

Sorry that I don't go in for the prima donna crap like certain people in this country.

tinkerbell

I would advise that you propose and THEN you go out shopping for a ring. Buying a ring that you will wear on your finger for the rest of your life is a very personal thing and she should have some input into what she would like. Plus going ring shopping would be so much fun!

My bf and I have talked about engagement rings n stuff before, he had said he would rather be traditional and have the ring to propose but I was telling him that I would love to go around all the jewellery stores, try on lots of rings and then pick one. It would be so much fun going around together finding the perfect ring I mean you could have it in your mind that you love say princess cut but when you try it on it doesn't suit you and you would rather go for a round diamond, etc.

How about if she has a charm bracelet or something that you buy her an engagement ring charm for it to propose with? At least then it's not a cheapo ring that is just being used as a prop.

Oh and good luck with the proposal!

slowrun

My OH proposed with a fabulous ring that he had bought himself!
He spent a good bit of time beforehand searching around the shops and learning about diamonds / styles etc.
He ended up finally deciding between two, picked one of them, carried it all the way to New York and proposed there!
The band of the ring was too big for me but that way easily sorted out + I absolutely love it!!! :-) He probably picked as nice as I ever could have!
Its not the only time you get to go ring shopping - I've still lots of room on my fingers for more + it really adds to the occasion :-)
Highly recommend the surprise element of it! Definately wouldn't have had the same effect without the ring (although would still have been very happy :-))

dogbert27

Sorry OP but I found myself agreeing with Prinz on this one. Before getting engaged my OH used to mention what kind of ring she wanted, what metal, carat, cut, etc. However it did come to the point where I was talking about it too much that it started taking the fun out of it for her! I just wanted to be really, really, REALLY sure!!:D
The only thing I took from what she said was the style, i.e. solitaire on a white gold/platinum band.
I then went about doing it myself which took me months but I was able to do it myself because we talked about it. I went to various jewellers with a budget and not thinking I'd find anything one jumped out at me that said yep, that's definitely my OH.
BTW the ring that I picked out wasn't the metal that she preferred or the carat or the cut but she didn't care! When she saw it she loved it.

Roisinbunny

Flump wrote: »

We had talked about getting engaged before the event, i had wanted to be part of the ring purchase, my OH wanted to have the 'actual' ring himself to propose so we went out a few months earlier, got my finger sized and tried on a few different styles. we pretty much knew which ring was the one, so my OH organised the ring on his own and planned the proposal time/location on his own.
even though i knew what the ring would look like it was very romantic and i loved having my ring right from the start.

Twas the exact same for us! We went window shopping one day almost 3 years ago and picked out a style - it was actually so exciting, not looking at the cut, carat etc but just the sense of excitement about the future. It was one of those things that we kept putting on the back burner ( Financially we had a turbulent few years!). Until a few months ago, when we passed by the window again and I picked one - fairly quick and easy. He went off himself at some stage and bought it and last weekend, he produced it whilst we were in the middle of cooking dinner, no bended knee, no flowers or candles, but it was perfect. When he opened the box - finally after some struggle! - I wasn't thinking "wow look at that rock", I was just blown away by the moment. You realise that the ring is just really a symbol of something a whole lot bigger:)

So whether you pick it, he picks it, he gets help to pick it, it's not important... There's no better feeling than knowing you've finally met the one:D.. the ring is just the cherry on top:cool: