when is it officially a "problem"?

LegacyUser

Hi, I have a friend who enjoys drugs quite alot. Hes 28 now and he was very very conservative in his teens. When me and other friends were all getting drunk and 'experimenting' with drugs etc he was the upstanding citizen and didnt go near anything. Now its a complete U-turn. He learned over the years to relax a little, but it seems to be too much. He seems to have lost all sense of responsibility whereas we have all grown up a bit and grown out of all that carry on. Hes always owing friends money(just small amounts). He will cease every opportunity when it comes to people heading out drinking or people going taking drugs etc.

He comes out with us on saturday night, but he'll find other people on a sunday, and maybe other people on a Wednesday,etc, generally younger people.
When I refer to drugs I mean pills and coke, and some legal highs too
Now hes not stupid and he achieved alot more than any of his friends by the age of 21 or 22, but hes like a child now, its crazy.

I wouldnt call him an alco, he doesnt go drinking on his own, its always "on a night out" etc, so it doesnt seem as bad, but I just worked it out before posting this, and I could safely say hes been on the piss on at least 7 or 8 occasions in the last 2 weeks. This would include both drink and drugs on these nights.

Thats why I have to ask when is it a "problem" per say? He's like the equivalent of a heavy drinking college student, maybe a bit more even, but thats why its hard to tell whether I should just leave him have his fun or have a serious word with him.

Kevster

Hi,

I'd have to say that this is a common problem in Irish society, and unfortunately so. I can also inform you that long term drug use can majorly affect how a person interprets the world around them. So, whilst I don't think that you'd have much luck getting through to this guy about his problem, I think that it's worth a try just passing info onto him about long term drug use and its effects. In answer to your main question though, in any other society, this'd be viewded as a major problem, but if it's only on a night out, then it's generally accepted here.

I use 'here' loosely, because I actually moved to the UK recently.

Kevin

kjl

Well, he will lose the magic of pills soon, probably like you, coke it too expensive, So i would say give him 6 months. You enjoyed you phase, let him enjoy his

The_Conductor

Just because you don't drink on your own- does not mean you don't have an alcohol problem. OP- your friend has problems- and they are not the sort of problems that are going to be easily solved. People don't like being told they have a problem(s) though- they have to come to accept that themselves.

Mighty_Mouse

Maybe a 28 he doesnt feel the need to find a steady woman, settle down, prefer quite poker nights to decent clubs, wear wranglers, talk foundations, etc etc etc etc................ maybe ye have changed as mates, or maybe its all a bit odd and out of character.
Whether to intervene or not depends on the above.

The oweing money thing is not on though but whoevers lending it to him doesnt get to bitch afters. Mate rules.