Is there anyway to get around this??

How Soon Is Now

Ok i have noticed with my girlfriend and the girl i was with before they really dont like me having female friends.

Now my ex was a nightmare anytime i got txt message she was like who s that is that her is that so and so it drove me insane i dont cheat on anyone and made that clear there just my friends.

So anyway im with this girl bout month now and she knows i still talk to one my ex s *who i was only with couple weeks* and i have couple other decent female mates. My best friends are all male but i get on well with a few girls and i dont see problem with this i mean honestly what harm am i doing ??

She dont seem to see it this way even though she says she trusts me i dont understand why she cant just let me have female friends its not like i go out places with them or talk them all the time. What can i do bout this??

puglover

angerfist2009 wrote: »

Ok i have noticed with my girlfriend and the girl i was with before they really dont like me having female friends.

Now my ex was a nightmare anytime i got txt message she was like who s that is that her is that so and so it drove me insane i dont cheat on anyone and made that clear there just my friends.

So anyway im with this girl bout month now and she knows i still talk to one my ex s *who i was only with couple weeks* and i have couple other decent female mates. My best friends are all male but i get on well with a few girls and i dont see problem with this i mean honestly what harm am i doing ??

She dont seem to see it this way even though she says she trusts me i dont understand why she cant just let me have female friends its not like i go out places with them or talk them all the time. What can i do bout this??

What is she doing to stop you having female friends?

TBH it's her problem to deal with if she has a problem.

shellyboo

Yeah, more information OP. What makes you think she doesn't like your femal friends? Has she said something to you?

How Soon Is Now

Sorry should of explained more lol

Well she has been saying that she does not talk to men and that im not putting her first. Then she goes all quite i ask her why shes like oh im fine sure go talk to so and so *wont name the girls*.

Its annoyin me i would never cheat on her infact i had a girl try chat me up yesterday who wanted sex and i said no i have girlfriend. I just dont think its fair i mean i always arrange things i do with other people around her. Dont see why she has problem with me having female friends.

I know one them is my ex but i wasnt with her that long.

puglover

angerfist2009 wrote: »

Sorry should of explained more lol

Well she has been saying that she does not talk to men and that im not putting her first. Then she goes all quite i ask her why shes like oh im fine sure go talk to so and so *wont name the girls*.

Its annoyin me i would never cheat on her infact i had a girl try chat me up yesterday who wanted sex and i said no i have girlfriend. I just dont think its fair i mean i always arrange things i do with other people around her. Dont see why she has problem with me having female friends.

I know one them is my ex but i wasnt with her that long.

So what exactly is her problem? Or do you know?

Does she have a problem with you having female friends? or is it a case of you spending the time you are together on the phone or whatever chatting to them?

TBH your description of the problem is a bit vague and you aren't going to get good advice if you can't explain it more clearly.

dirtydress

Could maybe understand her not being mad about you seeing your ex, especially if it was only a couple of weeks...might make her worry about you "rekindling" something.

On the other hand her stopping you having *any* female friends is entirely her problem and not something you should have to put up with. I feel really strongly about this because some of my closest friends are guys and i have had it happen to me once where a girlfriend banned him being friends with me for no other reason than jealousy that something *might* happen (despite me being in a long term relationship)
If it got to the stage that I wasnt comfortable with my fella *being friends* with another girl then to me that spells the end of the relationship, trust is everything and if she doesnt have it then she needs to find a way to trust you or maybe she would be better off on her own.

How Soon Is Now

No i never txt anyone back when with her unless its me family.

She told me she does not like hearing im talking to one my exs and i can tell by way she acts that she has problem with me having girls as mates.

Plus i have feeling either she or one her mates is trying to trick me by pretending on a site im on to be girls chattin me up and flirting.

How i know this because all the profiles who have been doing it are all alike and made in same format spelling and worded more or less same. And she seems to ask questions all time bout things i didnt even tell her bout these women.

I have asked her bout this i even said i could email the site and ask which ip the users are on dunno if this fully possible but soon as i said this to her one the profiles was deleted. I asked her had she anything at all do with it and does she trust me she said its not her and yes she does trust me.

But this is why im trying to figure out all this she has a problem with me talking to other women its clear her whole attitude changes if anything is mentioned bout any my girl mates.

I cant really explain anymore to be honest plus she wont say much to me bout it i can just tell it bothers her.

How Soon Is Now

dirtydress wrote: »

Could maybe understand her not being mad about you seeing your ex, especially if it was only a couple of weeks...might make her worry about you "rekindling" something.

Thats thing though i dont meet up in person with any these girls its just casual txting none and again nothing big its harmless and the girls know this to like they know im not single.

shellyboo

angerfist2009 wrote: »

I cant really explain anymore to be honest plus she wont say much to me bout it i can just tell it bothers her.

Well, if she's not annoying you about it; and you're not doing anything wrong... then just let it bother her. There's absolutely nothing YOU can do to change how she feels bar dump your friends, and you shouldn't have to do that.

I think you should just try to be the best bf you can be to her - keep your female friends, but don't put them ahead of your gf, don't flirt with them, let her know if you're going to see them. Be honest, not secretive, because you're not doing anything wrong. This is your gf's problem and it's something that she has to deal with.

She can either talk to you about it, or just deal with it. That's her choice, really. There's nothing you can do, OP.

How Soon Is Now

shellyboo wrote: »

Well, if she's not annoying you about it; and you're not doing anything wrong... then just let it bother her. There's absolutely nothing YOU can do to change how she feels bar dump your friends, and you shouldn't have to do that.

I think you should just try to be the best bf you can be to her - keep your female friends, but don't put them ahead of your gf, don't flirt with them, let her know if you're going to see them. Be honest, not secretive, because you're not doing anything wrong. This is your gf's problem and it's something that she has to deal with.

She can either talk to you about it, or just deal with it. That's her choice, really. There's nothing you can do, OP.

Ya i know meself not much i can do told her this told her i dont like being put in awkward place cause this and that i am good to her i just get along welll with some girls there nice down to earth women who can have laugh with thats all i already have my girl she knows that she knows i wouldn swap her for anyone cause i really like her.

But ahh i dunno some women can be harder to convince from experience i have learned this.

shellyboo

angerfist2009 wrote: »

Ya i know meself not much i can do told her this told her i dont like being put in awkward place cause this and that i am good to her i just get along welll with some girls there nice down to earth women who can have laugh with thats all i already have my girl she knows that she knows i wouldn swap her for anyone cause i really like her.

But ahh i dunno some women can be harder to convince from experience i have learned this.

Yep, I totally understand... but you have to realise that you can't control what she thinks or feels. The only person you can control is yourself. So just do the right thing by her, be good to her, but don't sacrifice your own principles on her jealous whims. If she doesn't appreciate you being honest and straight with her, if she lets the jealousy/possessiveness get the better of her... well that's her mistake, and her loss.

How Soon Is Now

Ya i know its just annoying cause where good together apart from this and i work hard in relationships to make things work but sure ill see how it goes.

Thanks for the advice.

SarahSassy

shellyboo wrote: »

Well, if she's not annoying you about it; and you're not doing anything wrong... then just let it bother her. There's absolutely nothing YOU can do to change how she feels bar dump your friends, and you shouldn't have to do that.

I think you should just try to be the best bf you can be to her - keep your female friends, but don't put them ahead of your gf, don't flirt with them, let her know if you're going to see them. Be honest, not secretive, because you're not doing anything wrong. This is your gf's problem and it's something that she has to deal with.

She can either talk to you about it, or just deal with it. That's her choice, really. There's nothing you can do, OP.

+1

She is very out of line here. Very controlling for such early stages of a relationship - will that get worse as time goes on?

turgon

Just remember bud that if it comes to have to dumping either her or your friends, it should be her, you know your friends longer and if you sacrifice them for her its not something they are likely to forget

How Soon Is Now

turgon wrote: »

Just remember bud that if it comes to have to dumping either her or your friends, it should be her, you know your friends longer and if you sacrifice them for her its not something they are likely to forget

Made it clear to her that i will not turn me back on my family my mates or her and that i try to be fair to everyone and i think i am like. I cant see what more i can do for her.

How Soon Is Now

SarahSassy wrote: »

+1

She is very out of line here. Very controlling for such early stages of a relationship - will that get worse as time goes on?

Im hoping not cause really like her hoping it passes like.

buckieburd

I'd get out now, 4 weeks into a relationship there's should be none of that kind of posessivness going on...

John Mason

angerfist2009 wrote: »

Im hoping not cause really like her hoping it passes like.

run away very fast. leopards do not change their spots.

maybe if you can get her in for some intensive counselling to work on her self-esteem then may be but 4 weeks in :eek:

RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN

How Soon Is Now

irishbird wrote: »

run away very fast. leopards do not change their spots.

maybe if you can get her in for some intensive counselling to work on her self-esteem then may be but 4 weeks in :eek:

RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN

Just kinda dont wanna jump out of things this soon.

thefeatheredcat

You're entitled to be friends with whoever you like. Female friends are just seen as a threat.

Find yourself a more secure girlfriend who won't be as much hassle.

How Soon Is Now

Sorted it with her last night had talk bout a few things so seems be ok now .

Ta for the advice everyone.