Bit of an awkward situation. Hope not overreacting.

DO'Carlo/Wex · 12-09-2009 1:10am #1

Righteo so, here goes. 1st-off I hope I'm posting in the most appropriate forum but if the moderators wish, they can move or delete it. SUre I've no say anyway!
So the issue is I gave a relative money recently to come home & book return flights & bus journeys to sign-on. First time was in May. 2d-time in August. Both were by credit card.
I'm on the dole for x-months now & when i was working, saved like a Billy-Goat Gruff so I have enough means. It amounted to a total of say 400. The 2d-time he asked me, I specificaly told him that it was ALL to be repaid in full BEFORE he went back & that this was last time. He agreed via a text reply.
However the little scobie/scrote hasn't paid me back in full. 200 was received last week the last time he was home without me actually being told what it was for. It just appeared on my plate one meal-time. Guess work on my part. No words exchanged. Nothing said or acknowledged.
However said-person flew back out again without even mentioning the 300 or the balance I'm owed.
I've texted & e-mailed threatening the gards/gardy. The reality is they've told me that it's a domestic & that they're understandably reluctant to get involved cos it'd be hard to deal with & prove. They recomend a civil case but as I'm of limited-means, I'm reluctant to go down that route. I have savings but I didn't save for this sort of crap. What would happen if half-way through a civil or legal case the payment was forthcoming. I'm still liable for solicitors/barristers/lawyers fees.
What would YOU do? What should I do? What are my options realisticaly? Just hope he comes good next time he's home to sign-on?
I'm extremely peeved. I'm in a tricky, sticky situation & not sure I have a way-out of it in my favour beyond waiting for God-ondly-Knows how long. It's a principled matter.
If I went legal, I'd be ostrich-eysed. Probaly kicked-out of home. I can afford to leave but don't want it to come to that. If I be vindictive & report him to the social, the same result & I'll have the same or less of a chance to get my money back.
Advice appreciated.

AlmightyCushion · 12-09-2009 1:13am

Sell the debt off to a debt collection agency for the laugh.

Ruu_Old · 12-09-2009 1:15am

What would I do? Probably put it down to bad experience and never lend a relative money again (if I did I would make sure it was above board and in writing).

asdasd · 12-09-2009 1:18am

Anybody work out what was owed? 400, or 500, or was there a large interest charge?

also

I gave a relative money recently to come home & book return flights & bus journeys to sign-on

so this guy is flying into Ireland to sign on?

deco05ie · 12-09-2009 1:19am

300 doesn't really seem like it's worth the hassle tbh. Just hope for the best and keep nagging him whenever he comes home. I'm curious though how far is he traveling to come home and sign on?

Ghost Train · 12-09-2009 1:21am

what all this flying in and out to sign on crap

its not a lot of money to be chasing after, just end the relationship and maybe someday you'll get your money back

ScumLord · 12-09-2009 1:21am

DO'Carlo/Wex wrote: »

200 was received last week the last time he was home without me actually being told what it was for. It just appeared on my plate one meal-time. Guess work on my part. No words exchanged. Nothing said or acknowledged.

That's how money is always paid back where I'm from seems pretty normal. I think you kind of screwed the pooch making threats and getting the guards involved in family affairs.

I also don't understand how if you say he owes 400 in total and paid back 200 how he could owe you another 300??

When it comes to family money can take years to pay back. Maybe if you don't really know the guy it's out of order but if it's a close relative that you know well it's expected that you give a bit of leeway, tis only money after all.

I'm assuming this is an issue now because your stuck for the money, it would be better to explain this rather than turn it into a conflict. If you want your money back just explain your in a tight spot and need repayments, even in small doses. Do apologise (if you want your money back) and just never lend him money again.

ScumLord · 12-09-2009 1:22am

300 euros is a fair chunk of change in fairness.

karlog · 12-09-2009 1:28am

GOD DAMit'!!!

Senna · 12-09-2009 1:52am

Take something of his, preferably his girlfriend, then hold it/her hostage till he pays the balance.

FearDark · 12-09-2009 1:58am

I didnt read the OPs thread.

Where am I?

Senna · 12-09-2009 2:08am

FearDark wrote: »

I didnt read the OPs thread.

Where am I?

Synopsis for the hard-of-reading.:D

OP lends relative money, he wont give it back. I suggested kidnapping.

DO'Carlo/Wex · 12-09-2009 2:11am

Sorry I did some of the figures wrong. I don't know who if anyone snooping/lurking on Boards knows my identity (maybe noone but with a suposedta be anonymous public forum, it can be figured out which is NOT what I want obviously) but for obvious reasons i don't want my & by association the scrotes' identity revealed here.
Hence why a few anomalies like the amounts. Like if I gave EXACT figures & my id was worked out, things could get hairy.
For easiness & simpleness sake, we'll say I gave 400 in total (in 2 stages, May & August) & as I alluded to, got a portion back (say roughly half, in this case 200....almost a weeks' wages on the dole!).
Hope that clarifies things somewhat.

asdasd · 12-09-2009 2:11am

Also, relative flys in for dole. Amount of money owed not certain.

fcukit, read the thread.

DO'Carlo/Wex · 12-09-2009 2:12am

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Sell the debt off to a debt collection agency for the laugh.

Good idea & if I'd my own gaffe, I would but as a family member I'd be ostrich-eysed currently which given my current predicament isn't an option I'm open to.

DO'Carlo/Wex · 12-09-2009 2:14am

Ruu wrote: »

What would I do? Probably put it down to bad experience and never lend a relative money again (if I did I would make sure it was above board and in writing).

Regarding the bit in brackets, that bit is totally out as a result of my experience. For any family member no matter if their' house/car/dog is gonna be repossessed.
Thanks.

asdasd · 12-09-2009 2:17am

Here's another solution.

Wait until he gives you the rest of the money.

/thread

DO'Carlo/Wex · 12-09-2009 2:20am

ScumLord wrote: »

I'm assuming this is an issue now because your stuck for the money, it would be better to explain this rather than turn it into a conflict. If you want your money back just explain your in a tight spot and need repayments, even in small doses. Do apologise (if you want your money back) and just never lend him money again.

I'm not actually stuck for the money & the little scrote knows that. It's as much the principle of the matter but I obviously DO want the money repaid.
Always seems to be a relative who does you over with money-issues. I've given loans to friends sometimes in stages, sometimes in lump-sums & it's they that've always been good for it & have arranged meeting-points for regular repayments & if one is missed, then a double-up is arranged the next time around.
Like recently, I gave a mate of mine a grand to get his' step-daughter into a college course & the money's being paid back at 50 a week within 2 weeks of me giving it to him. That's proper order.

12-09-2009 2:20am

DO'Carlo/Wex wrote: »

Good idea & if I'd my own gaffe, I would but as a family member I'd be ostrich-eysed currently which given my current predicament isn't an option I'm open to.

That sounds painful! Even worse than being ostracized.

Anyway has he left anything of value that you can pawn

DO'Carlo/Wex · 12-09-2009 2:21am

Senna wrote: »

Take something of his, preferably his girlfriend, then hold it/her hostage till he pays the balance.

Doesn't have one. Damn! But thanks.

12-09-2009 2:23am

DO'Carlo/Wex wrote: »

I'm not actually stuck for the money & the little scrote knows that. It's as much the principle of the matter but I obviously DO want the money repaid.
Always seems to be a relative who does you over with money-issues. I've given loans to friends sometimes in stages, sometimes in lump-sums & it's they that've always been good for it & have arranged meeting-points for regular repayments & if one is missed, then a double-up is arranged the next time around.
Like recently, I gave a mate of mine a grand to get his' step-daughter into a college course & the money's being paid back at 50 a week within 2 weeks of me giving it to him. That's proper order.

Are you a semi-professional money lender!!!

DO'Carlo/Wex · 12-09-2009 2:23am

Deleted User wrote: »

That sounds painful! Even worse than being ostracized.

Anyway has he left anything of value that you can pawn

Not really that I can think of. 2 x electric guitars that I'm not sure work (strings issue I think, maybe make one from the 2?). Also ditto in relation to an amp.
No point in selling something & having it come back on me as a dud.

DO'Carlo/Wex · 12-09-2009 2:25am

Deleted User wrote: »

Are you a semi-professional money lender!!!

Not yet. Ah wouldn't know who to trust for repayments. Would end-up getting done-over if this current experience is anything to go by. Haven't any henchmen or heavies shouldering me to back me up on due-day.

skelliser · 12-09-2009 2:26am

hang on now, is your friend flying in and out of ireland just to sign on?
you do realise that is fraud?

Bit of an awkward situation. Hope not overreacting.

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