do you need your parents consent to get married?

Stephentlig

Hi there, I was wondering if anyone could tell me and my fiancee that in order to get married in the catholic church we absolutely must get our parents consent?

she is from america and I am local in the town where we are getting married.

the priest who is to marry us well, he desired a letter of consent from my fiancees parents. then when her mother was over she wrote a letter and signed for both her and her husband ( husband was absent, but seeing as they are one body we didnt think it mattered and that both could sign for the other ). however the priest has just called me and said that the father in years to come could look back and say he objected to the wedding and it wouldnt be legal to accept such a letter. however, the whole legality side of it is to do with the state is it not? we were gonna get married first civilly then get the blessing and the civil registration did not need a letter of consent from our parents so why does the church?

is this priest just messing with us? whats going on? we are confused.
because from the beginning he has been in opposition to our wedding ( so we feel ) and we need help.

your help would be much appreciated
God bless
Stephen<3

robindch

Stephentlig wrote: »

the priest has just called me and said that the father in years to come could look back and say he objected to the wedding and it wouldnt be legal to accept such a letter. however, the whole legality side of it is to do with the state is it not?

It's not my field, but AFAIR as long as you're both over 18, you can do what you like and you don't need permission from anybody. If one or other is under 18, then you will need to get permission from either the Circuit Court or the High Court here in Ireland (and they, I suppose, could ask for the parents' opinion, but I don't know if they're obliged to; probably not).

The relevant state legislation is contained mostly within the Civil Registration Act 2004, which you can download from here:

http://www.oireachtas.ie/viewdoc.asp?fn=/documents/bills28/acts/2004/a304.pdf

If you're going for a church ceremony, then there may be some piece of canon law that he's trying to apply, but I can't think of what it is, and from your description it sounds like he's just throwing his weight around for whatever reason.

.

Stephentlig

Hi Robindch, yes I found out that there is a code of Canon that he is trying to apply, and that canon requires that the pastor be sure that we are free to marry, however, I've been given advice from a religous brother in america who said that although he this canon requires him to do this, the letter of freedom from her parish should be enough. and its only enough when the parish have known her between the ages of 16 and 25. so this is good advice because she has been known since the age of 9 in her parish.

It seems rather sad that we have to revert to civil registration, seeing as there are many complaints from the church that nobody is getting married in the church anymore.

he was abusive from the beginning, when she first gave him her last name, he said ''is that a muslim name?'' then he proceded to tell me that he thought there was a bit of a muslim in me. then when I asked him to bless my prayer rope just the other day he said, ''thats a muslim looking prayer rope isnt it?''

he also keeps asking audrey whether or not she is just getting married so she can work in the country.

her dad is a multi millionare and has shown his objection to the wedding, and ultimately both her parents are, and her mother did that letter I feel reluctently. but their objection shouldnt matter as we are over the age.

there is also the possibility that her dad has stuck his ore in, phoned the parish and said ''i'll give you a big fat cheque on the sum of $$$ if you do everything you can to stop them.''

*sigh*
God bless
Stephen.

Stephentlig

I've debated the issue with him, and its back in our favour.

thank you board for you help.

God bless
Stephen<3