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New GF suffers from depression

  • 10-09-2009 7:09pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I met my new GF about 3 weeks ago, we get on well, and she actually likes me (usually my relationships feel one sided with me liking the other person more than they like me!)

    anyhow she is a bit fat, thats ok, but aparently she think she is huge, she told me she has tried suicide twice, but that she has stopped that sort of thing last year. She has mood swings like sometimes it'll be like talking to a different person she'll just go into a dark mood and will stare straight ahead.

    Now the world is full of various people and if she was a co-worker or something I could live with it but I just don't want to take her on like this, I feel I can't trust here, like in one of here dark periods she could do anything.

    so my heart says stay but my mind is screaming get out now while you have a chance.


Comments

  • #2
    username123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,484 ✭✭✭username123


    Very difficult call. I understand the difficulties of maintaining a relationship with someone who suffers from depression. I have a couple of close friends who are suffers and have had a relationship with someone who was a sufferer also.

    All I can say is this, dont feel bad that the depression puts you off. It CAN be off putting, especially in a new relationship where you have little or no emotional investment made at this early stage and it would be just as easy to walk away.

    If you think you cant handle it then maybe the best thing for you to do is to walk away, if you think you can handle it then stick around. Its down to whether or not you can handle it tbh. Talk to your GF about it too, ask her what she thinks about it, explain it from your perspective and explain why you find it difficult. Be honest with her. (only if you are thinking of sticking with it though, no point getting into it all if youre walking away).

    But - dont beat yourself up if you cant hack it. Not everyone can and there is no point in being miserable yourself either - you know?

    You sound like a nice bloke and it is early days yet, maybe set a reasonable time frame and re-examine things? Like another 3 weeks or so?


  • #3
    RossFixxxed
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭RossFixxxed


    As someone on the other side of the fence OP I'd say there is one important thing, if she tries to fix it and works on it you are sorted! If she is wallowing or you become a support rather than a partner then there is a problem!

    Good luck with it, hope things work out!


  • #4
    OS119
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,518 ✭✭✭OS119


    OP, its not just a case of whether you can handle it, its whether you want to...

    you don't exactly sound like you're being fuelled by rocket-powered love, and if at 3 weeks you're not sure you can be arsed with the whole thing i'd say bin it.

    you'll not be doing her any favours by hanging around when you don't really want to be there, and being with someone who suffers from Dysmorphia(?), suicidal tendencies and depression isn't fun, its not something you should do either because 'you think you ought to' or because you've not had any better offers in the last month.

    good luck.


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