Living with strangers

LegacyUser

Hi
I am looking for accommodation and I'm really not enjoying it or the idea of living with strangers. I know people in the same town as the uni but they're already settled in with people. I've a sister in the town but we don't get on brilliantly all the time (chalk and cheese) and I think that would end up in a headache. I'm looking forward to the uni thing but not the accommodation side of it. I've thought about travelling up and down every day but I don't know if that is wise (like for finances and for extra-curricular activities). You can't tar everyone with the same brush but from hearing my friends' horror stories and seeing some of the places they've shared, I'm anxious about the untidyness and lack of hygiene in some houses.
I know there are so many more troubles and problems for people but the thought of sharing with strangers is dominating my every waking hour at this stage.
Am I alone or am I dwelling on it too much?
thanks

LegacyUser

when i went to college first i felt the very same, i decided to commute, it was fine. if you dont feel comfortable about living in a student flat with strangers then dont, i hated the whole student life vibe anyway. then when youve made a few friends in college if you need to go out some night you can stay over at there place and maybe the following years your friends and you could decide to move in. its fine to commute for the first year though if ya can, loads of people do it, your an adult now with your own personality , you can live whatever way you like, dont feel like you have to do anything

sachamama

dwelling a little too much on the negative maybe?
they wont be strangers after you meet them, it could be a great way to enhance your social life

just decide what are your needs - do you want a bedroom to yourself? a double or a single bed? how many bathrooms are in the house? is there an electric shower? is there a cleaning rota? will you have space in the kitchen for your own stuff? that type of thing.

if you go armed with questions they'll be delighted you thought of things, and its an opportunity for you to decide if you want to live with them, too.

maybe if you only commit to a short contract rather than take out a year contract and not be happy there, see if you can get a 3 month stay which can be renewed if you're happy. another thing to consider.

hightower1

I know where your coming from, I have lived in sharded houses before and its just not for everyone. You never really have your own space and always have to wonder about "is this going to annoy everyone else".

Its just more up to who you are as a person I think. I know people who loved it but personally if your someone who enjoys their own space its not for you.

lilirish

It is daunting and yes you will hear and have horror stories yourself buts thats whats moving out and being independant is all about. For the last 5 years I have lived in various shared accomodations and there have been people I've lived with and never want to see again but there have also been a number of people I've moved in with, as strangers, who are now my best friends.

When your looking for accomodation decide what you want - if a house is clean and tidy when your viewing the chances are the people who live there will be equally so, they are making an effort to impress you.

Try and meet some or all of the current housemates before you move in - this will give you an indication as to how they behave together and the atmosphere in the house. Try and have a bit of banter with them yourself.

As previously suggested get a short term lease, dont tie yourself down to a year or six months. Normally when your just renting a room its a case of "if you want to move out you find someone to move in" and depending where you are they normally isn't a problem. Your never tied to anywhere if people are horrible/messy/dirty you just move out and move on.

Uni is a brilliant time and you dont to miss out commuting everyday.

Best of luck.

Firetrap

Don't assume that sharing with strangers is an unpleasant thing. Yes, there are housemates out there who aren't nice to live with but alternatively, there are lots of nice people who are friends you've not met yet. You will get an inkling pretty quickly (trust your gut instinct) if you will get on with the people in a house you're looking at. People chop and change accommodation all the time - if you don't like where you are, move out.

If you commute, you will be denying yourself some of the good things in uni. The chance to take part in extra-curricular activities. Being able to study in the library in the evenings without feeling tired after travelling. Not being dictated by bus/train timetables.

If you do decide to commute, please don't do it for the whole year. Keep your eyes and ears open for places that you can move into. You might even meet people who are looking for a housemate.

tman

If I hadn't taken a plunge and moved in with strangers, I wouldn't be with my GF/flatmate right now...
Just go for it. It can be a massive pain in the arse if you don't click, but you can also find some totally awesome people to live with that you wouldn't have otherwise met.
Tis really pot luck if you move in with a messy ****er though, you can't really trust your gut instinct on that

LegacyUser

Hi, maybe you could commute for the first month and get to know a few peeps, there is always students looking for accommodation and when your in college your more inclined to find others in the same boat, there will be info on the notice boards also,

If you can get your own room even with an en suite you could pretty much keep to yourself in your room, hang out in college and dom the extra curriculum activities and just go back to sleep, but yeah this is a natural reaction,

There is a book called the secret its very good for manifesting positive situations by visualizing the perfect outcome, the less fear you have going in the less the chances are you will end up with bad housemates, if you affirm that you always meet really decent people you will have a better chance of making that your reality.

VaioCruiser

Hi OP.

Yes you are allowing it to take you over.

Strangers are only people you have not met yet. And this is the time in your life when you should be opening yourself up to new experiences and new people - NOT staying in a safe bubble like you had when you were at home with your parents.

Break out and take on this challenge and this exciting new adventure and meet new people and dive in with relish ! This is the only time in your life that you will get this opportunity !

All the best

VaioCruiser

sunflower27 wrote: »

Why is this the only time?

The OP could do it next year if she wanted?

I remember being afraid of going to uni when I was 18 - terrified in fact. I moved so far away from home that commuting wasnt an option. It was the best three years of my life and I was really, really upset when it all ended.

I was being more general that this specific month .. :rolleyes: I mean that this is the time of this life, and especially uni life when we have the choices and freedom to throw ourselves into this kind of new adventure. Later comes relationships, children, rent leases, mortgages etc etc etc.

All the best

LegacyUser

Ok i've seen a few places and I've half decided on one, about a mile from college in an estate with 2 women (owner occupied house).
In honesty, I'm not overly pushed on it but I'm trying to see it as a means to an end and maybe I could find somewhere I like more soon.

VaioCruiser

Excellent news. One step at a time....

Let it happen ... and the next time your head tells you to withdraw ... say NO... and throw yourself into it.

All the best !