Bored of this,not him.

LickLickLick · 10-09-2009 10:10am #1

I'm bored of my relationship but not my boyfriend. I feel like i want to be single however I love my boyfriend.

Can any of you ladies relate at all?

sharky86 · 10-09-2009 10:12am

LickLickLick wrote: »

I'm bored of my relationship but not my boyfriend. I feel like i want to be single however I love my boyfriend.

Can any of you ladies relate at all?

cheattell him you want fun lots of it?

LickLickLick · 10-09-2009 10:22am

Haha i cheated once before (He knows and forgave me)
Don't wanna lose him though by saying i want lots fun..which i do want! Grr confusing! I hate being a woman.

fatmammycat · 10-09-2009 10:38am

I don't see what it has to do with being a woman. If you want to be single just split up with the poor man and give him a chance at finding happiness with somebody who appreciates him and wont cheat on him.

LickLickLick · 10-09-2009 11:05am

I do appreciate him thanks (:
I'm simply asking for advice,if you don't have anything helpful,piss off.

blinding · 10-09-2009 11:07am

Is it more sex your after.

meditraitor · 10-09-2009 11:08am

Your choices are

1.Stay with him and be miserable,

2.Leave him,

2c

Emme · 10-09-2009 11:08am

I agree with fatmammycat. If you don't appreciate him set him free and find someone who will, or start working on your relationship. Dress up in a sexy frock and high heels, cook him a nice dinner, lots of vino and all the rest and he might seem more exciting again.

How would you like it if he didn't find you exciting anymore? Maybe you guys need to have a talk, but cook him the nice dinner first. Men don't like "talks", it scares them.

LickLickLick · 10-09-2009 11:11am

blinding wrote: »

Is it more sex your after.

You could say that yeah.
I'm young (18) I wanna have fun,he scares me with talk or marriage etc

cathysworld · 10-09-2009 11:12am

Tell him you want to go on a break for a few months and "see" other people?

LickLickLick · 10-09-2009 11:14am

cathysworld wrote: »

Tell him you want to go on a break for a few months and "see" other people?

Yeah have been thinking bout it. Can't make up my mind :mad:

blinding · 10-09-2009 11:14am

LickLickLick wrote: »

You could say that yeah.
I'm young (18) I wanna have fun,he scares me with talk or marriage etc

Set the man free will you and go and have a good time for a few years (safe sex advised)

You are doing this man no favours if this is how you really feel.

Emme · 10-09-2009 11:14am

LickLickLick wrote: »

You could say that yeah.
I'm young (18) I wanna have fun,he scares me with talk or marriage etc

My advice, set the lad free and go out and sow your wild oats. How old is he by the way?

Wibbs · 10-09-2009 11:15am

LickLickLick you're new here but if you tell another poster to piss off here again you won't be posting again. Attack the post not the poster.

blinding · 10-09-2009 11:18am

Wibbs wrote: »

LickLickLick you're new here but if you tell another poster to piss off here again you won't be posting again. Attack the poster not the post.

I tremble but should that be attack the post not the poster.

hightower1 · 10-09-2009 11:21am

So basically you want attention from other guys that may include sex, want to not have to be committed to your partner and dont want to be in a relationship with him?

My advice, mature and leave the guy be better off with someone more suited.

LickLickLick · 10-09-2009 11:22am

Wibbs wrote: »

LickLickLick you're new here but if you tell another poster to piss off here again you won't be posting again. Attack the poster not the post.

Sorry! Seen people say much more offensive and threatening things! Apologies..

Xiney · 10-09-2009 11:22am

blinding wrote: »

I tremble but should that be attack the post not the poster.

I'm sure Wibbs has no idea what you're talking about

(Edited to add: This is where it got moved from the Ladies' Lounge)

LickLickLick · 10-09-2009 11:23am

hightower1 wrote: »

So basically you want attention from other guys that may include sex, want to not have to be committed to your partner and dont want to be in a relationship with him?

My advice, mature and leave the guy be better off with someone more suited.

Your making it seem worse then it is,I dont want to be settled down and i'm sure a lot of 18 don't either.

shellyboo · 10-09-2009 11:24am

LickLickLick wrote: »

Your making it seem worse then it is,I dont want to be settled down and i'm sure a lot of 18 don't either.

So, what's the dilemma then? Break up with him.

LickLickLick · 10-09-2009 11:26am

shellyboo wrote: »

So, what's the dilemma then? Break up with him.

i still LOVE him,you may not think i do from what i'm saying but i don't like relationships,i'd happily just see him without seeing other guys just without the girlfriend label,if i wanted to see other people,i like having freedom to do so.

shellyboo · 10-09-2009 11:28am

LickLickLick wrote: »

i still LOVE him,you may not think i do from what i'm saying but i don't like relationships,i'd happily just see him without seeing other guys just without the girlfriend label,if i wanted to see other people,i like having freedom to do so.

Well unfortunately you can't expect the rest of the world to bend to what you want and/or need. Tell your boyfriend you don't want to be tied down - he will most likely break up with you. That will be his prerogative.

If you want the freedom to see whoever you want, you can't also expect to hold onto your boyfriend. Simple as.

sachamama · 10-09-2009 11:28am

LickLickLick wrote: »

I'm bored of my relationship but not my boyfriend.

he's turned into your friend who is a boy, not your lover or the man you are in love with?

but if he sees you as his lover and the woman he is in love with, its unbalanced and not fair to him.

dogbert27 · 10-09-2009 11:29am

I think you've just answered your question there. If you don't want to be tied down then break up and say you want him as a friend. I was going out with a girl at 18 who felt the way your feeling now except she never told me. She eventually started cheating, I found out, big messy break up, haven't talked since.
Be honest.

LickLickLick · 10-09-2009 11:29am

dogbert27 wrote: »

I think you've just answered your question there. If you don't want to be tied down then break up and say you want him as a friend. I was going out with a girl at 18 who felt the way your feeling now except she never told me. She eventually started cheating, I found out, big messy break up, haven't talked since.
Be honest.

Thanks,you seem to be the only one with actual advice without saying i'm a complete b*tch

Xiney · 10-09-2009 11:34am

LickLickLick, nobody here has called you a bitch. They have simply been spelling things out in plainer terms. Any labels you read into them are your own.

For what it's worth, you don't seem like you want a relationship so you should break up with him rather than lead him on.

Ta,

Xiney

sharky86 · 10-09-2009 7:27pm

cathysworld wrote: »

Tell him you want to go on a break for a few months and "see" other people?

eh sorry but know that'll never work.. breaks do mean good bye in male terms (trust me I'm a guy) just sit him down and tell him "look we only young lests just head out and get hammered and half fun..head traveling or something..what happens to be your thing yeno!!! and see where we are in 10 years time for marriage" see what he says to that..he'll be grand and hopefully get the idea that you need more space and fun and he will start to back away....

Well hopefully

if he dont pm me and we'll go get hammered ha

LickLickLick · 10-09-2009 11:25pm

sharky86 wrote: »

eh sorry but know that'll never work.. breaks do mean good bye in male terms (trust me I'm a guy) just sit him down and tell him "look we only young lests just head out and get hammered and half fun..head traveling or something..what happens to be your thing yeno!!! and see where we are in 10 years time for marriage" see what he says to that..he'll be grand and hopefully get the idea that you need more space and fun and he will start to back away....

Well hopefully if he dont pm me and we'll go get hammered ha

Sounds gooood :P

Koushki · 10-09-2009 11:34pm

LickLickLick wrote: »

i still LOVE him,you may not think i do from what i'm saying but i don't like relationships,i'd happily just see him without seeing other guys just without the girlfriend label,if i wanted to see other people,i like having freedom to do so.

If you ''LOVE'' him then you wouldn't cheat on him.
Just leave him so he can be happy with someone who wants to be with him.

You're most likely confusing ''love'' for good sex.

Koushki · 10-09-2009 11:38pm

LickLickLick wrote: »

i'd happily just see him without seeing other guys just without the girlfriend label,if i wanted to see other people,i like having freedom to do so.

Also this whole Label thing is just so immature. whats the difference?
if you like him, like his company, have fun with him, and don't want to see other guys, then what differences does it make if you're just seeing him or if you're his girlfriend?
it's just a term used when people are coupley.

you're just making excuses at this point, if you really did love him, you:
a: wouldn't cheat on him
b: be happy to call yourself his girlfriend.

I cant really make you do anything, i just dont think you're suited and you're best to get out now.

Xiney · 10-09-2009 11:46pm

sharky86 wrote: »

Well hopefully if he dont pm me and we'll go get hammered ha

PI/RI is NOT a pickup website.

Wagon · 11-09-2009 12:24am

Just break up with the bloke, be single and shag who you want. Can't have it both ways.

scanlas · 11-09-2009 12:43am

Tell him you love him and want an open relationship. If he says no find someone who you will have an open relationship with you.

sharky86 · 11-09-2009 7:27am

Xiney wrote: »

PI/RI is NOT a pickup website.

Ah xiney only having a joke

Silverfish · 11-09-2009 7:33am

Off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum.

Please read the charter before posting.

Thank you

sharky86 · 11-09-2009 7:49am

Yeno I think people are tending to forget that the op is only 18 after all.. I'll put my hand up to any person here that wanted a heavy relatetionship at that age.. We all just wanted fun.. I beleive that she actually does love the chap if she says so.. but 18 is no age to be talking about walking down the aisle also in my opinion the girl just wants space and feel under so much pressure to conform if ya ask me..

And no I dont think she has "confused love with sex" ether. Can you really seperate these too really like?? Yes you can have sex without loving the persopn but you cant say that it doesnt have an emotional impact on you afterwards.

Colonel_McCoy · 11-09-2009 8:44am

dont understand how you can say you love your bf but want to be single. He deserves better that this. You already cheated once and sounds like you want to again........ End it and let him find somebody who will treat him right

dogbert27 · 11-09-2009 8:57am

Back again. As I said just be honest. You're only 18, you don't need to be stressing about something like this. When I broke up with my girlfriend (the one who was feeling the way you are) all those years ago it was the best thing that happened for both us. I stayed single for the next 5 years and had a fantastic time going out with my friends, did the whole college thing unattached (I'd definitely recommend this!), did the J1 to America. I think you do need to spend a couple of years between 18-mid 20's single. When I hit my mid 20's I was getting bored with the single life. Going out every weekend doing the same thing blah blah blah. Met a great girl in my mid 20's and 5 years later we're still together.
You're 18. Enjoy it!

Wibbs · 11-09-2009 9:26am

I agree with dogbert27. It depends on the person. Some want the whole loves young dream earlier than others. Some need to explore out there. That's fine. It becomes a problem when one type goes out with the other type.

I think the OP's dilemma is that as she says she actually likes this guy, so doesn't want to lose him, but wants to be free to explore within that. Fine if that's what he would be up for too, but I doubt he would be. Or he would agree to it to keep you(which would be daft on his part) Theres a touch of have my cake and eatism going on. Natural enough, but not healthy for the OP nor her current BF and not a great road to go down as it's self centered.

OP you're going to have to bite the bullet one way or the other. Leave the guy or stay. In both cases you have to be black and white about it. You can't "leave" him, but still have him around. Not fair on him or you long term. If you stay you have to fully stay. Love and stuff is usually shades of grey, but in this case and those like it I think it's very much black and white.

LickLickLick · 11-09-2009 9:49am

Koushki wrote: »

If you ''LOVE'' him then you wouldn't cheat on him.
Just leave him so he can be happy with someone who wants to be with him.

You're most likely confusing ''love'' for good sex.

It was one month in,a drunken kiss,no sex.

I know what love is, and sex has nothing to do with this as we're not having good sex so thats not why i love him.

opinion guy · 11-09-2009 10:21am

LickLickLick wrote: »

It was one month in,a drunken kiss,no sex.

I know what love is, and sex has nothing to do with this as we're not having good sex so thats not why i love him.

ah. could the sex not being good be part of the reason you want to be with other people maybe ?

blinding · 11-09-2009 4:50pm

LickLickLick wrote: »

It was one month in,a drunken kiss,no sex.

I know what love is, and sex has nothing to do with this as we're not having good sex so thats not why i love him.

If you are not sexually compatible leave the guy. You are doing him no favours as sexually incompatability is just a gigantic load of problems down the road.

I did wonder if your user name of LIckLickLick was suggestive of you being a horny one. I was not even sure if this thread was a bit of a wind up. If its not take my advice from above.

Sexual compatability is possibly the most important thing in a relationship. It definitely in the top three.

opinion guy · 11-09-2009 7:58pm

blinding wrote: »

If you are not sexually compatible leave the guy. You are doing him no favours as sexually incompatability is just a gigantic load of problems down the road.

I did wonder if your user name of LIckLickLick was suggestive of you being a horny one. I was not even sure if this thread was a bit of a wind up. If its not take my advice from above.

Sexual compatability is possibly the most important thing in a relationship. It definitely in the top three.

Jesus slow down there. OP is 18. Presumably her OH is similar age. Its entirely possible he doens't have much experience - maybe OP doens't either. OP if the sex not being good enough is a problem, why don't you discuss it with him (gently). Maybe he feels the same way. Maybe you can give him tips. Maybe ye can make it better. Some people are naturally good at it, but most need some coaching at some point. Experiment. It could be fun for you both. If after that things are still not good then maybe you aren't compatible sexually - but at least give it a proper go before deciding that

LickLickLick · 12-09-2009 5:44pm

opinion guy wrote: »

Jesus slow down there. OP is 18. Presumably her OH is similar age. Its entirely possible he doens't have much experience - maybe OP doens't either. OP if the sex not being good enough is a problem, why don't you discuss it with him (gently). Maybe he feels the same way. Maybe you can give him tips. Maybe ye can make it better. Some people are naturally good at it, but most need some coaching at some point. Experiment. It could be fun for you both. If after that things are still not good then maybe you aren't compatible sexually - but at least give it a proper go before deciding that

I'm fairly experienced compared to him,we've had chats about all of it and nothing seems to work for us (me giving him tips or different positions)
I do have a feeling that the sex is the problem. My heads a mess recently so been thinking about it alot.

opinion guy · 12-09-2009 7:11pm

Well ok OP. So I think we can all appreciate that you love the guy but the unsatisfactory sex life must be frustrating. How long have you been trying to improve things ? Us males can be a slow bunch remember

Hmmm withou being graphic, whats he getting wrong ?

LickLickLick · 12-09-2009 10:41pm

opinion guy wrote: »

Well ok OP. So I think we can all appreciate that you love the guy but the unsatisfactory sex life must be frustrating. How long have you been trying to improve things ? Us males can be a slow bunch remember
Hmmm withou being graphic, whats he getting wrong ?

About 4 and a half months out of six. He knows what he's doing, but doesnt hit the spot i guess,he's not selfish like so he is concerned i'm not enjoying it.
He's a nice guy and i just don't like feeling this way about him

opinion guy · 13-09-2009 2:39am

LickLickLick wrote: »

About 4 and a half months out of six. He knows what he's doing, but doesnt hit the spot i guess,he's not selfish like so he is concerned i'm not enjoying it.
He's a nice guy and i just don't like feeling this way about him

Yeah I can tell that this is hard for you. Its really hard to have negative thoughts about someone we really care about isn't it ? I think some of the posters earlier have been hard on you. You maybe just didn't have the words to express the problem, eh ? But thats ok, we'll help if we can

Hmmm I don't know what to say. When you say doesn't hit the spot I don't know whether to take that in the phyiscal sense or if you intend another meaning to it. If its physical sense thats easy to fix

But if you mean something else well I dunno how to advise cause i'm not sure what you mean. Hmmm ok. You have more experience than him and I'm guessing from the context of all this at least some prior experience was better? So whats different ? Hmmm I'm trying to ask the right questions to draw you into an answer where we can really help you! (again without this all getting too graphic thou). So forget everything else for a minute and just tell us what it is that's missing maybe ? Cause once you can put it into words, then you can maybe do something about it

opinion guy · 13-09-2009 11:45am

So rereading that it seems obvious you mean physically. Sorry i was very tired when i wrote that last reply.

hmmm well i dunno not the kind of advice i'm used to giving to be honest!

But two things occur to me. First is have him do some homework - learn some female anatomy, google up what bits are what and how to find the female gspot etc. maybe do it for him and if you find a good website send it to him. the second thing that occurs is - um how shy are you ?? If you're brave enough, maybe masturbate in front of him. let him watch how you do it for yourself and maybe he will see what he's getting wrong ? Hell if it doesn't it could be enjoyable in its own right for you both.

Am I being helpful at all ?
Anyhow - maybe others can give you better advice along these lines than i can.

Bored of this,not him.

Comments