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Suddenly Resenting BF

  • 10-09-2009 1:28am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi I've never posted in here.
    I have been with boyfriend for about 7 months now, and all of a sudden I'm start to resent him and go cold.
    I am a really independent person and have been hurt by men in the past (father/step-dads)
    so I am guarded in that sense, so at the start we only saw each other at weekends.

    He wanted to see me more but understood I liked my own space and I liked that.

    Then since the summer he has been getting on at me for not wanting to see him enough etc. and I have even made excuses not to go out to him etc. When I went out to see him I liked it but these days he just turns up at my house and I feel trapped and dont really enjoy our time together.
    He's 20 and I'm 18 and he talks about the future with us together and, I dont know he's just much more traditional than me or something. I'm starting college and he works full-time.

    We said 'I love you' but tbh, I have my doubts, Im just so confused.
    There was this fantastic honeymoon stage where I loved him to pieces and I do love him but theres something missing. Lately Im completely turned off anything sexual, even him kissing me passionately(!) I dont like, but he is so good to me and treats me well that I feel awful for it.

    We are totally on different wavelengths too-most things I say puns,jokes,words etc. he doesnt get ( Im a lot smarter than him academically)and I have explain everything to him and it ruins the moment and I end up getting riled up!
    but it only seems to have come up lately.
    I think I have stopped 'pretending' and started to be myself around him, realising that we just dont work.

    However he is kind of a simple guy who thinks everything is great and would be happy to stay together forever, but I just am not happy.

    Am I being really selfish? Do all couples go through a 'find everything irritating about OP phase?'? I feel really sad at the thought of breaking up, it would be a lot easier to stay together but I am having these feelings..and I dont know why.

    We also had a pregnancy scare a few weeks ago could that be why Im feeling trapped ??
    any input is greatly appreciated!


Comments

  • #2
    tbh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    your heart is telling you you don't want to be with this guy anymore. your head will follow in time, I'm afraid it's inevitable.

    if you want my advice, do it quickly and cleanly. These things happen, no disrespect but you're 18, you've probably a few more relationships to go through before you're ready to settle down.

    Like I say, these things happen. You're not a bitch, you're not a slag, it just didn't work out this time. You're sticking with your boyfriend because you don't want to hurt him and you're scared of breaking up, but trust me, the sooner you do it, the better for everyone.


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