Mc Carthy report Goverment letter

Smokey Bear

Dear Public Servent,
Following on from The McCarthy Report and going forward the government
has taken immediate remedial steps which are to be implemented with
immediate effect.

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the
economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put
workers of 40 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will
be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for
the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the
SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be
RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the
government deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for
Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early
Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be
SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much sh1t
(Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always
prided itself in the amount of sh1t it gives out. Should you feel that you do
not receive enough sh1t, please bring this to the attention of your local TD.
They have been trained to give you all the sh1t you can handle.

Best Wishes,
Brian Cowen, T.D.
An Taoiseach

Esel

An oldie but a goodie!

Irish_polizei

that had me rollin around the floor literally laughing