Clear my Head

LegacyUser

I'll try and make this short and sweet and it really is not an issue at all in comparison to some threads here, just wanted a different persepctive on it.

Couple months back, got out of a very long term realtionship, was in bits, still am a bit but struggling by. Anywhoo, was in spain there last week and one of the nights out i met this lovley spanish girl. We spoke a bit and then ended up back in her place and we spent the night together. I thought it had gone pretty well, it was my first ever one night stand as my ex had been my first and only. When we woke up the next day though, she was kinda cold towards me, so i didnt end up asking for her number becasue it didnt feel right and we just said our goodbyes. I had hoped to maybe get her number, not as a booty call but because i go to this part of spain alot and i thought it's always nice to know people from different places. If i'm being completely honest, i was hoping to actually maybe see her again and hang out.

Basically my question is why would she have been so cold to me after we had spent the night together? Is this the normal situation in a one night stand? Before some smart arse says maybe she didnt enjoy herself I honestly think the intimacy part went well. She seemed like she was really into me and everyting was fine right up until we went asleep but then the next day i kinda felt like i was talking to a different person. Anyway, like i say, not an issue really at all, just wondering what people think?

dblennon

It's nothing personal, Its an unwritten rule of one night stands.

80% of the time its just that
10% of the time it's holiday romance
9% of the time you can become FBs
1% it might turn into something more.

If you wanted to ask for her No. you should have she will probably give it to you out of courtesy, but you would be on here asking why she didn't text back.

LegacyUser

Thanks dblennon. Like i say its a new experience for me so thanks for giving me a heads up on the rules. I guess i kinda felt bad on her, that i didnt want her to feel used as i liked her and would have liked to hang out with her but the more i think about it the more i'm starting to think i was the one who got used.

Wibbs

Maybe there was no used about it. On either side. Why do a lot of guys assume the woman becomes distant the next morning because she feels used? She liked you, was turned on by you and wanted to get jiggy and enjoyed that, but didn't see anything beyond that. Sometimes the biggest problem with a one night stand for either gender is the next morning. It's like that saying about prostitutes and escorts. You don't just pay them for sex in a way you also pay them to leave afterwards. OK thats the extreme but there is or can be an element to that in one nighters.

OP as youve said you're not long outa your longtermer and as you said that was difficult and still is for you. Doubly so as she was your only other sex partner. So you wouldn't be human if you associated sex with and in the context of that longtermer. A one nighter, only your second sexual experience with another woman would have the capability to wreck your head.

IMHO Try not to think on it too much. Look on it as (the usual) learning experience and keep moving forward.