sick of drinking culture

LegacyUser

Hey, just wanted to get some general opinion on something. It seems to me all my mates are interested in doing revolves around drinking and the pub and it's really pissing me off lately. I guess in my twenties this was fun and it was the easiest way to meet up at the weekends and it's our culture here so it's just the done thing. Thing is now I'm 30 and my friends are still the same, it's still the pub and it's still drink to get drunk. I feel like I've totally grown out of this and grown out of my friends aswell. If I'm out a night and I don't want to drink much I'm called "boring" and a "light weight"…same if I go home early. The thing is I just don't know how to go about making new friends that are not into the same thing, boring as it sounds I would much rather spend a Saturday evening having a nice meal or meeting up with friends to play cards or go for a game of bowling or something apart from going to the pub/nightclub. If I ever suggest anything like this nobody is up for it….has anybody else sort of ditched their mates of 10 years and managed to make new friends to do things with at the weekend, like non-alcoholic related things…is there any meet up place like this online where I could meet like minded people. I'm not completely against drinking but I'd rather get more out of life than just drinking in the pub every weekend

VaioCruiser

OP I think you have answered all of your questions here.

You are completely right in saying that you have outgrown your mates. They are stuck in a sad rut and have not developed as men. You have.

You don't need to ditch your mates however. But you can break out and start developing some new ones. It's not so easy but you need to be really proactive about looking into some other after work activities, hooking up with guys/girls that you may have neglected over the years and leave your mates for one night a week or so.

Don't let their teasing bother you. This is YOUR life, not theirs. You are the one moving forward.

All the best

modest_marie

Hi

I completely understand what you mean by wanting more from your life than just drinking. It's too short!

Of course going out having a few drinks is great sometimes, but too much of anything gets boring!

I've found myself in the situation where most of my friends want to just go out all the time and see how drunk they get. I'm 28, and so are they!

Maybe think about what interests you, and join some classes or clubs. Clubs where you could meet People more like you and with simailar interests.

VaioCruiser is right, this doesn't mean you have to ditch your friends, because of course it's great to get out and have a laugh. But it sounds to me like you need hobbies and interests. Something that will take you from the pub at the weekends, and still keep you occupied, and help meet like minded People.

kjl

join a card club, there are loads of them all over the place.

Come in on a Monday to some of the low stake tournaments and you get to meet people. I dont drink and have the same problem, but bit by bit people are coming over to my wavelength.

I have made a good few friends in card clubs, and its a great bit of fun, plus you might be very good at it and make some money.

modest_marie

And the boyfriend doesn't drink.... He rallies a Ford Ka instead

That's another great hobby. Lots of the Guys involved in the Motor club don't drink! Co-drivers, marshalling etc.

If you're into driving. it's a great interest, great fun, and a great buzz!

LegacyUser

Welcome to the world I was in a couple of years back.

I enjoy a drink as much as the next person but it's not the be all and end all of my night out.

I found that with certain friends, I'd have to drink to enjoy their company..... dinner out wasn't working as they weren't the greatest of conversationalists and to be honest, they were more friends of a friend of mine.... I was bored to tears by a couple of them and found that the only thing we had in common was 1. my friend, 2. that we knew each other for about 10 years and 3. well, that was it.

It suddenly dawned on me: "I'd rather not be here".

Roll on a few years and I've met a bunch of new friends through a club I joined. We are active during the day and drinking pints with them is enjoyable... it's not a drink to get drunk thing; it's socialising with people I like, a lot and have something in common with.

Some of the guys I used to hang out with, well, I haven't been on a night out with them in months (maybe half a year) and I haven't missed them at all. When out with them I'd be thinking "how come last week I was sitting with a bunch of like minded adults talking about everything and anything and here I am feeling uncomfortable because I now have to make conversation with people I've known for years"....

My new friends, I meet up to go the cinema, for coffee, catch a gig, go away for the weekends and it has given me a new lease of life. To get my other friends to do anything used to be such a hassle - they just didn't want to do anything, or said they did and then when it came to it, they just backed out at the last minute.

Life is too short to hang out with people who don't rock your boat.

pookie82

Leave Ireland. Proabably the only real way to ever get away from this pathetic and idiotic culture of getting sh*t faced to have "fun" being a weekly necessary.

Amy33

I'm in the exact same boat as you. I'm 33 and single and the thought of going out and getting drunk really and truly bores me. I have two other single friends my age and when they go out, all the want to do is get drunk and go home with some random stranger, I've no interest in that whatsoever! I enjoy going out with my married friends because they don't want to get too drunk and obviously aren't on the lookout for men, but their children are all small, so they may only go out twice a year. Sometimes I worry about what the future holds.

VaioCruiser

pookie82 wrote: »

Leave Ireland. Proabably the only real way to ever get away from this pathetic and idiotic culture of getting sh*t faced to have "fun" being a weekly necessary.

I regret to say this is utter nonsense. There is a huge social life here that has abs nothing to do with drinking. Unfortunately some people don't have the imagination or the initiative to find it or make it for themselves. Running away solves nothing.

modest_marie

VaioCruiser wrote: »

I regret to say this is utter nonsense. There is a huge social life here that has abs nothing to do with drinking. Unfortunately some people don't have the imagination or the initiative to find it or make it for themselves. Running away solves nothing.

I completely agree with VaioCruiser. You have to get out and look for what you want. Make a go of it. I have a great social life that doesn't revolve around drinking! I am the worlds worst drinker, so I fear nights out on the beer, usually followed by a wicked hangover after 5/6 drinks!

Living on the other side of the world isn't all it's cracked up to be. And if you don't find out what your interests are besides the pub, you will only run into these problems in any other country you go to.