Old best friend doesn't remember me

LegacyUser

I've not had many friends throughout my life and even fewer in recent years. I was googling however and put in the name of a very good friend I had way way back in primary school. I found an email address and sent off an inquiring email. I have fond memories of this time and always wondered what had happened to my friend.

I got a reply tonight and as I read the start of the email my excitement grew as he confirmed the details I asked of him. However he then said sorry he did not remember me.

I'm a little gutted. I'm wondering what to do. Should I reply explaining who I am? Is that a little sad and desperate? I had a nickname at school and maybe he doesn't recognise my real name? Personally I'm leaning towards leaving things go.....any feedback appreciated.

Miss Fluff

Sorry you had such a disappointment OP. I

It really depends on what you hope to achieve to be honest, people move on and if you are in your twenties for example, primary school is a long time ago. Do you hope to rekindle a friendship here?

If so I'm not sure that's possible. I don't think there is any harm sending one more email explaining who you are (introducing yourself by nickname etc).

However, while it is nice to reminisce (I have googled people out of curiosity I had a crush on SIXTEEN years ago - about 90% of them have middleage spread and 4 kids lol) you have to realise that people change/evolve and may not set the same importance on a bond/friendship that you do. And some people just simply have terrible memories/are bad with names.

Not to go off the point here, but maybe try and meet new people/make new friends. Easier said than done I know but maybe think about going to the next Boards beers or joining a sports team etc. and expanding your social circle rather than looking to the past.

littlecat

Hiya, as someone who always remembers names, dates, birthdays, anniversaries etc I've realised that some people are good with details, others are not. Try not to be hurt by it; it's just the way people are.

What I would do in this case is to reply, say you were tidying out some old stuff, came across an old class list and started Googling people - stops it sounding like you went looking for him specially. Say you hope life's treated him well since the days at whatever school and sign off with your nickname in brackets.

You won't have lost face, and may well find he's mortified that he didn't recognise the name. On the other hand, some of us are more sentimental about our school days and friends than others - so be it. But I think if you don't give it one last go you'll be left wondering.

Good luck

People are different. I remember things from my cot, my sister has no recollection of anything before secondary school.
Don't take it personally, I'd send back an email explaining yourself if I were you. There is no harm in it.

lolli

littlecat wrote: »

Hiya, as someone who always remembers names, dates, birthdays, anniversaries etc I've realised that some people are good with details, others are not. Try not to be hurt by it; it's just the way people are.

What I would do in this case is to reply, say you were tidying out some old stuff, came across an old class list and started Googling people - stops it sounding like you went looking for him specially. Say you hope life's treated him well since the days at whatever school and sign off with your nickname in brackets.

You won't have lost face, and may well find he's mortified that he didn't recognise the name. On the other hand, some of us are more sentimental about our school days and friends than others - so be it. But I think if you don't give it one last go you'll be left wondering.

Good luck

I agree with this post. I remember people quite well but i know loads of people who had forgotten class mates after a year.

Darthhoob

do not beat yourself up about it mate, some people have good memories (me and you being two of them) and some people have crappy memories (like your friend and my OH lol)

i am sure that at the time you were good mates

prinz

At least it was only an email OP. I've had a similar experience in person. Now that's embarrassing!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the kind replies lads and ladies. I took the advice of the first few posters and sent a second email and tried to make it as casual as possible. So now I wait.....Miss Fluff is bang on however. I need to make some new friends. Thanks again all.

littlecat

That's great, no harm giving it a shot - hope it goes well.

entropi

Moonbaby wrote: »

People are different. I remember things from my cot, my sister has no recollection of anything before secondary school.
Don't take it personally, I'd send back an email explaining yourself if I were you. There is no harm in it.

I'm the same too lol, i can remember stuff from around 8months old...some people just have it and some dont. OP i'd recommend sending a reply with some memories you may both remember, and maybe the nickname if its not an offensive one you dont mind sharing again:)