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What to say to a friend?

  • 08-09-2009 10:45am
    #1
    This
    Closed Accounts Posts: 191 ✭✭


    My best friend has been seeing her new man for about 6 months now and from what i can understand its very intense and deep and they are madly in love. but sometimes she is so unhappy..... he left for electric picnic on thurs and she hasnt heard from him since except for one drunk/drugged phonecall in which he told her to f off and stop worrying. he has been trying to get her to wear different clothes, clothes that he perfers and i have to admit she looks a whole lot better, but you can see sometimes she is just not comfortable in herslef.
    there was one occasion, while she was on hols that he didnt answer his phone for 3 days and gave no real excuse and expected her to be ok with it.

    when things are good they are the most fantastic couple and you can see she adores him and he adores her. just constant smiles on their faces. he treats her like a princess most of the time and buys her gorgeous things and does stupid crazy romantic stuff for her.

    but when she is down its so hard to know what to say. i feel i cant make comments because im not there all the time but obvo when she is down so am i.

    maybe its just normal and im just worrying coz i care about her so much...

    any thoughts?


Comments

  • #2
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    More appropriate for here and you'll get more responses too.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #3
    OS119
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,518 ✭✭✭OS119


    OP, it may be the way you've expressed it, but it looks an awful lot like she's the problem, not him: you say he's great, romantic, generous, perhaps looking to boost her confidence, body image etc.. by suggesting clothes/looks that might be a better idea - and he's entirely able to function as a human being without the constant reassurance of the OH speaking to him every 30 seconds while they are apart.

    what causes - or, correction, - what does she complain about when she's down?

    is he controlling or just helpful with the clothes/looks? he's obviously not jealous/possessive because you say he's happy to be out of contact for days at a time...


  • #4
    VaioCruiser
    Closed Accounts Posts: 750 ✭✭✭VaioCruiser


    OP - this sounds on the face of it to be a perfectly normal happy relationship.
    However you seem to be far too deeply involved with your friend's emotions and you need to step back and allow them to ebb and flow in the way that normal relationships do.

    All the best


  • #5
    This
    Closed Accounts Posts: 191 ✭✭This


    yeah i read it after i posted and started to think maybe is just too 'needy' for want of a better word..... there is a bit of an age gap so maybe she is just not 'mature' or ready enough.

    thanks


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