sex minus condom

LegacyUser

Don't know how I should pad this out so I'm guessing it's best if I get to the point. I've been worrying myself over something I did and want to do again.

I was dating a guy and after 3 months together we were lying in bed after doing it twice (:D) Then we started teasing each other and giggling and all that and he ended up on top of me and it was all quite nice really. So he was stroking himself against me down there and it just felt so good and I really wanted to feel what it was like without a condom... So did he... I didn't want to go the whole way, just to feel it without a condom. Problem is, it felt so damned good we started going at it but he was like "**** no I shouldn't be doing this" and so was I but then neither of us could bring ourselves to separate and put on a condom cos it felt SO much better... Then eventually he pulled out and put on a condom

I'm scaring myself though because I really want to do it again. I'm scared of taking the pill because I don't want to put on loads of weight... Reading this it sounds like I'm about 15 but I'm not, I'm 21! I'm normally way ahead in maturity terms for my age too so this is so out of character for me, it just felt like it wasn't completely my head controlling my actions. There's an evil little part of me that wants to get pregnant by him so trying to shock myself into "he could get you pregnant" is not really going to work....

It just felt so nice. Is there any other form of protection I could use so that condoms are not essential? Some of the female cup type things I've heard about scare the heck out of me.....

Nevyn

There are no female 'cups' which are used for contraception purposes, they are used for when you have a period.

There is how ever the diaphragm or contraceptive cap.
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/diaphragms.htm
http://www.femalehealthissues.co.uk/diaphragm.html

But they are not as effective as hormanal contraception and the worries you have
about the pill are ones you should talk to your dr about, not everyone puts on weigth
and if you watch your diet you shouldn't.

There are other options then the pill there is the contraceptive patch and the nuvaring.
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/contraceptivepatch_000173.htm
http://www.femalehealthissues.co.uk/contraceptive-patches.html
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/womens-health/your-sex-life/vaginal-ring.htm

Both of which use a lower dose of the artificial hormones which are in the oral contraceptive pill.

But if either of you has had other sexual partners you should consider having a sexual health check up and an sti screening before ditching the condoms for your own health and safety.

Peggypeg

There's an evil part of you that wants to get pregnant by him? yeah that sounds pretty evil to me. Don't listen to that part, you're 21 so I'm assuming that he's quite young too, maybe he doesn't want to be changing nappies, maybe he wants to be out having fun etc. Seriously you're 21 and there's a part of you that wants a baby? Get a doll for christ sake, and use a condom like a grown up.

Nevyn

Unhelpful and off topic posts will get you banned from this forum
do read the charter for the rules about posting
have a nice day.
Thaedydal.

CRonaldo

Oh so you like the feeling of his penis without a condom? would you like a baby with that too?

Nevyn

CRonaldo banned for 1 month.

VaioCruiser

Hi OP. You are far from being alone in how you feel about this whole topic.

However I take issue with your assumption about weight gain and the pill. The pills that are being prescribed nowadays are much lower in dose that those years ago and you really have to be careful about believing 'rumours' that become 'accepted fact'. To my knowledge these rumours have been based on half truths and the experience of only a few women.

Read this article for example and maybe go see your doctor or your women's clinic for up to date advice.

All the best

LegacyUser

Hi

I have been on the Pill for years and I haven't put on weight. I've been the same for about 3/4 years. And I eat what I like.

Don't worry about this. You could always try the pill out and see how you feel after three months. Keep an eye on it, and go back to your doctor then.

Although getting into a routine of taking the pill at correct times can take a month or two... so might be an idea to use a second method for a month or so until you're confident that you won't forget to take it.

Speak to your Doctor/family planning clinic. They really would be the best People to ask about the different contraception.

There are other methods, but not recommended to young couples that might want to have a Baby in the future :-)

Good luck and talk with someone. This is normal what you're feeling. But you don't want a baby yet.

Nevyn

Legally there is no longer such term as bastard.
Using that term about children who are born to parents who are not married is incorrect and insulting please refrain from it as it is not helpful and as we all know
off topic and unhelpful posts will get you banned from this forum.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

shellyboo

dontwanttobe wrote: »

I'm scaring myself though because I really want to do it again. I'm scared of taking the pill because I don't want to put on loads of weight... Reading this it sounds like I'm about 15 but I'm not, I'm 21! I'm normally way ahead in maturity terms for my age too so this is so out of character for me, it just felt like it wasn't completely my head controlling my actions. There's an evil little part of me that wants to get pregnant by him so trying to shock myself into "he could get you pregnant" is not really going to work....

It just felt so nice. Is there any other form of protection I could use so that condoms are not essential? Some of the female cup type things I've heard about scare the heck out of me.....

Ok, if there's even a tiny little part of you that wants to get pregnant, you need to get yourself on the pill pretty sharpish, because in the heat of the moment something's going to happen.

Not all pills make you put on weight, never mind "loads of weight". Go talk to your doctor and get something sorted before you make a very silly mistake.

dhorgan3

I think she was asking for advice on alternative forms of protection, not a smart comment form a cocky ronaldo type...

Nevyn

dhorgan3 if you have an issue with a post report it do not derail the thread by comenting on it.

Sonderval

Have you considered the contraceptive implant?

iguana

VaioCruiser wrote: »

However I take issue with your assumption about weight gain and the pill. The pills that are being prescribed nowadays are much lower in dose that those years ago and you really have to be careful about believing 'rumours' that become 'accepted fact'.

A lot of women don't want to pump extra hormones into their body which is fair enough. There are side-effects of varying degrees depending on the woman and the pill and many are unpleasant. I've met very few women who don't admit to markedly reduced libido when on the pill for example, even after trying out different ones. Mine dropped to almost zero within 6 weeks.

I used a diaphragm and found it fantastic. A diaphragm when used with spermicide is 96% effective in women who have not already had a child. Spermicidal condoms are only 95% effective, so a diaphragm is more effective than a condom. Though it is less effective with STD prevention and it's fairly fiddly so it's easier to make a mistake before you are used to it.

I only used it with my husband at a point where a pregnancy was not planned but not unwanted in the event of us being in the 4%, if I was in the OP's position I'd probably investigate the NuvaRing. And as has been mentioned both she and her partner should get STD checks and wait to get the all clear if they have had previous partners.

iguana

shellyboo wrote: »

Ok, if there's even a tiny little part of you that wants to get pregnant, you need to get yourself on the pill pretty sharpish, because in the heat of the moment something's going to happen.

It's very easy to forget a pill or two or ignore a stomach upset if the broody part of your brain takes over. Almost everyone I know who has had an unplanned pregnancy got pregnant while on the pill and being "almost" careful with it. A NuvaRing/Implant/Injection makes that less likely.

shellyboo

iguana wrote: »

It's very easy to forget a pill or two or ignore a stomach upset if the broody part of your brain takes over. Almost everyone I know who has had an unplanned pregnancy got pregnant while on the pill and being "almost" careful with it. A NuvaRing/Implant/Injection makes that less likely.

I agree, but if she's worried about putting on weight, the implant and injection aren't really an option for her, those are the worst culprits for adding weight.


NuvaRing is a decent option alright.

OP, it is a bit silly to totally dismiss the pill in case you put on loads of weight. In my experience, it barely ever happens and it seems rather premature to just assume it will without even trying it. There are valid reasons for not being able to take the pill (I can't tolerate it myself) but not wanting to *maybe* put on weight is not one of them. Go and talk to your GP.

prinz

iguana wrote: »

A lot of women don't want to pump extra hormones into their body which is fair enough. There are side-effects of varying degrees depending on the woman and the pill and many are unpleasant.

QFT. Thank God someone has a bit of sense. Gaining some weight is the least of your worries.

OP go to your GP and discuss the options. Frequent STD/STi checks should be on the cards, not only before you start but on an ongoing basis.

Jood

I cant use hormonal contraception ive only figured this out after 10 years of trying everything on the market. I must admit I do like it without but have been extra careful with condoms since ive come off the pill. The worry every month waiting to see if I was pregnant or not would kill me.

Its only natural to be a bit broody, but you've plenty of time to have kids so I'd ignore the little urges you're getting until maybe you're in a better place to consider having children. I have had the time of my life in my 20's cant imagine how different things would've been if I'd had a child young.

Nevyn

Jood have you looked to see if a diaphragm or contraceptive cap or I.U.C.D are option for you?

Jood

I actually have an appointment with my gp tomorrow to discuss some other options with her, I'll try anything, it's not really an issue at the moment if you know what I mean so I'm going to take my time and find something that really suits me!! Thanks for the advice I'll talk to her about those.

Nevyn

Sorry if I was being too personal Jood, just I do think the more info we have on such things the better choices we can make and sometimes we need info so that we ask the best questions of our drs.

Jood

No not at all I appreciate any advice I can get. It'll be great now when I go in tomorrow I can have some questions ready for the doctor!!

VaioCruiser

Jood wrote: »

No not at all I appreciate any advice I can get. It'll be great now when I go in tomorrow I can have some questions ready for the doctor!!

Yes OP. Ask lots of questions and listen to the answers. We have far too much advice based on personal experiences, rumours and here-say. Now that might be good in some situations, but it is highly subjective and inaccurate as a basis for this kind of decision.

All the best