saying the L word ... fear!

LegacyUser

hi,

im going out with an amazing girl about 9 months now, known her for a few years before hand. Im starting get the urge to just blurt out "i love you" and find it really hard to resist from saying it. there are times im with her having a laugh or just lying there and feel like just saying it but i force myself not to. I suppose its a fear of her running away if i say it. should i just do it and see what happens? I know ill just blurt it out, its getting harder to hold back each time im with her. im 27 shes 26 if that matters for anything.

prinz

Go for it. Perhaps she's thinking the same as you, and neither of you end up saying it.

shellyboo

Definitely say it! It's not too soon at 9 months to tell her you love her, and she's probablt waiting for you to say it first!!

Darthhoob

awww just say it, it's not like it's a first date or anything, you've been together for 9 months

she's probably waiting and tapping her foot by now tbh

barleybooley

Definitely say it OP, I totally agree with what the other posters are saying. Plus, you're 27, it's not like you're a love sick teen who's confusing love with infatuation and you've probably been in other relationships before so just say it already! Chances are she feels the same but would rather you said it first...
Best of luck!

VaioCruiser

whatShouldIdo wrote: »

hi,

im going out with an amazing girl about 9 months now, known her for a few years before hand. Im starting get the urge to just blurt out "i love you" and find it really hard to resist from saying it. there are times im with her having a laugh or just lying there and feel like just saying it but i force myself not to. I suppose its a fear of her running away if i say it. should i just do it and see what happens? I know ill just blurt it out, its getting harder to hold back each time im with her. im 27 shes 26 if that matters for anything.

I understand what you are feeling OP.

Try to work up to it in steps to see how she reacts... Tell her you "love being with her" ... a few times. Then tell her you "love talking with her", "love going places with her" .... You may find that she reciprocates and the path to the full monty will be smoothed...

All the best

LegacyUser

Only with new gf about two months..she told me last weekend that she loved me...and we're considerably older than you OP...not sure how I feel..but I aint returning the statement just yet..been there done that...whatever feels right for you !!!

LegacyUser

VaioCruiser wrote: »

I understand what you are feeling OP.

Try to work up to it in steps to see how she reacts... Tell her you "love being with her" ... a few times. Then tell her you "love talking with her", "love going places with her" .... You may find that she reciprocates and the path to the full monty will be smoothed...

All the best

I was in a relationship this summer (just a summer one while i was away on a J1) and I got really close to the guy. Every time I saw him he'd light up my world and we spent those 3 months living together, he was so awesome - heck if we lived in the same country I'd probably marry him no joke. Near the end of it we started doing the above and I was doing it with intent and was wondering if he was too. Then lying in bed together I was looking at him and got sad because it was near the end of the summer. He asked me what was wrong and I pretty much decided to just go for it and said "I'm sad because I love you and I'm going home soon". Then he told me that he had been feeling the same way for a while and wasn't sure whether or not to tell me.... I think it's a good way of testing the waters and btw, 9 months is plenty long to be seeing each other before breaking out the L word. If you feel it you feel it.

VaioCruiser

ah summer love wrote: »

I was in a relationship this summer (just a summer one while i was away on a J1) and I got really close to the guy. Every time I saw him he'd light up my world and we spent those 3 months living together, he was so awesome - heck if we lived in the same country I'd probably marry him no joke. Near the end of it we started doing the above and I was doing it with intent and was wondering if he was too. Then lying in bed together I was looking at him and got sad because it was near the end of the summer. He asked me what was wrong and I pretty much decided to just go for it and said "I'm sad because I love you and I'm going home soon". Then he told me that he had been feeling the same way for a while and wasn't sure whether or not to tell me.... I think it's a good way of testing the waters and btw, 9 months is plenty long to be seeing each other before breaking out the L word. If you feel it you feel it.

A lovely story. Really.

However I just want to take small issue with your last point. Time is not a measure of love. You can be dating for 2 years and not be in love and not need to say it. Everyone is different.
Also let me say here that love is not the same thing to all people. Some people feel they are in love after a couple of dates when they are really in lust. Some people are such warm loving people that they love everyone, and are quite likely to say they love you to a partner quite soon in a relationship. They mean it, but it can only be interpreted by their partner who knows how they feel about other people too. Others of course are at the other end of the spectrum and would not utter the word until they ar 1000% convinced.

All the best

LegacyUser

thanks for all the posts!

i just want to comment on one thing VaioCruiser said "Others of course are at the other end of the spectrum and would not utter the word until they ar 1000% convinced"

i would put her in that category. i remember having a conversation with her about how i felt i couldn't really open up to her about personal stuff and she was saying that it takes her awhile to feel open to someone. now im starting to believe she has opened up to me but at the same time im still alittle cautious and hence why im holding back the L word. its a killer, I have only been in a long term relationship once before and i wasn't the first to say it... now i know what its like to feel you want to say it but afraid to!!

LegacyUser

update!


said the L word the other night. what a relief! it was well received and she reciprocated by adding that she wasn't just saying it because i said it, im all smiley now!!