Annoyed with GF's comment

LegacyUser

Hi,

Just a little backround, I have been going out with my gf for just under a year. Love the girl to bits. We get on great and hardly ever fight. She works down the country in Cork and I’m in Dublin so I only get to see her ever week or two. Personally I’m a pretty laid back guy and it would not consider myself the jealous type.

Basically what happened is that one of my gf’s friends was away on holidays and she posted up some pictures on facebook when she got back. One of the pictures posted up was of Spanish lad who my gf’s friend had got to know over there. I noticed that my own gf had put a comment under the photo of this lad saying he had such a great body etc. (which in fairness he did).

But when I saw the comment from my gf, I don’t know what came over me. I was quite taken back. I honestly don’t know why it got to me- I just got a bit seriously pis*ed off with her comment.

I don’t exactly have the most fit body in the world and could definitely do with some toning up and now I feel that perhaps she doesn’t find me as attractive as she says she does.

I’m not normally jealous or feel this way, and I certainly don’t normally get worked up by miniscule things like this. But I seriously can’t understand why I’m so pissed off about it! Can anyone explain why I’m so worked up about this?

Thanks for reading.

Wibbs

Well when you look at say Megan Fox or whomever you probably say to yourself and your mates, "Great body on her" or somesuch. Does your GF have a bod like Ms Fox? Chances are no, but you love her don't you? That's the way I'd look at it anyway. Plus you may be píssed off because she posted it publicly and it just plugs into your own minor body issues. Though Jeez body issues sounds way too oprah. You know what I mean though

The Real B-man

Wibbs wrote: »

Well when you look at say Megan Fox or whomever you probably say to yourself and your mates, "Great body on her" or somesuch. Does your GF have a bod like Ms Fox? Chances are no, but you love her don't you? That's the way I'd look at it anyway. Plus you may be píssed off because she posted it publicly and it just plugs into your own minor body issues. Though Jeez body issues sounds way too oprah. You know what I mean though

Agreed but Megan Fox is totally unaitainable in Fairness would you have a Problem with her saying it about Brad Pitt no of course not its a little Different if its a Friends of hers! i wouldn't be going around telling my Gf look at the tits on her! and leaving comments on FB shes seems abit Naive what if the shoe was on the other foot?.

shellyboo

The Real B-man wrote: »

Agreed but Megan Fox is totally unaitainable in Fairness would you have a Problem with her saying it about Brad Pitt no of course not its a little Different if its a Friends of hers! i wouldn't be going around telling my Gf look at the tits on her! and leaving comments on FB shes seems abit Naive what if the shoe was on the other foot?.

It's not, it's a random Spanish lad who her friend scored while on holiday. She's never gonna see the dude again. And if her friend was scoring this guy, then he was totally unattainable to the OP's gf.

It's really not a big deal, OP. You don't stop finding people attractive just because you're in a relationship with someone. It probably never even crossed your gf's mind that it would upset you - and if it is upsetting you, tell her. She's not a mind reader!

LegacyUser

Op here,

Thanks for the replies. Yeah I guess I should have said, I really couldn't care if she was talking about Brad Pitt or someone, but this was just a normal guy you know? Of course I would also say to the my mates like "look at the body on Megan Fox" (etc), but I wouldn't be doing it over a Social Networking site! Especially if it was a girl that that one of my own mates scored and I was commenting on a picture of her wearing a bikini!

I know its not really a big deal shellyboo, and I know i shouldn't give 2 sh1ts about it, but it just pis*ed me off. Do you think it was perhaps was a bit disrespectful? Or just innocent girl talk?

Peggypeg

Of course it was innocent if it wasn't she wouldnt be publishing it on the web. Let it go!!! She was probably saying that to make her friend feel good about scoring a hottie. Honestly just let it go.

tagoona

Unfortunately, this is where people using these social networking apps cross a line.
While I might think a girl I pass on the street is nice looking, it's a minor step up to say it to a guy next to you.
It's very unlikely though that you would make the comment in the presence of your significant other, as they would be upset.

While your girlfriend would see the facebook comment, as just that, a comment to the friend, the fact that it's written down for the world to see is akin to her saying it in your presence.

OP is probably being slightly over-sensitive, but I know most women would be upset by their other half leering at a girl.

We all know it happens, we just don't want it shoved in our faces.

LegacyUser

Tagoona, I think your right, maybe I am being a bit over-sensitive. It really is out of character for me to so worked up about something so stupid. I don't know what is up with me.

shellyboo

Unreg Poster wrote: »

I know its not really a big deal shellyboo, and I know i shouldn't give 2 sh1ts about it, but it just pis*ed me off. Do you think it was perhaps was a bit disrespectful? Or just innocent girl talk?

Yeah, that's fine, I'm not putting down what you feel! We can't help what pisses us off, we can't control our emotions like that.

I personally think it was perhaps a bit disrespectful, but I doubt she saw it as anything other than girl talk. And this is what I mean about saying it to her. You're annoyed now, that annoyance is not going to go away. And even though you realise it probably didn't mean anything, the annoyance will eat at you until she does something you CAN be annoyed at her about; and before you know it, you'll be in the middle of a fight, hurling "and what are you doing perving over other men on Facebook as well?!" at her.

It's not a big deal that she did it, it's not a big deal that you're annoyed - so just tell her. Get it out in the open. Tell her while you know she didn't mean anything bad by it, it upset you to see her complimenting another guy's physique on Facebook where everyone can see. Tell her you're not mad at her, it just irritated you and you wanted to let her know that. If you're calm and reasonable, she'll most likely apologise and say she had no idea you'd mind - and it won't happen again

kjl

that's what you get for facebook snooping

The Real B-man

kjl wrote: »

that's what you get for facebook snooping

Thats unhelpful and off Topic!

LegacyUser

Thanks again Shellyboo.

To be honest, I think I will leave it go. I don't see any point in me bringing it up. It won't make me feel any better by doing so. Ive realised that it really is a minor thing- i'm making a mountain out of a molehill, and of course i'm being over sensitive about it.

LegacyUser

If you feel like you don't have the best body then why don't you take that annoyance thats its caused you and channel it into your body ? i.e. use it to motivate yourself. forgive me i don't mean to say you should do this. Its just probably what i would do about it

shellyboo

Unreg Poster wrote: »

Thanks again Shellyboo.

To be honest, I think I will leave it go. I don't see any point in me bringing it up. It won't make me feel any better by doing so. Ive realised that it really is a minor thing- i'm making a mountain out of a molehill, and of course i'm being over sensitive about it.

Ok, that's a good choice - but only if you really *can* let it go. If in a week's time, you find yourself still annoyed about it, you owe it to her to tell her, because it will just become ammunition for you in a fight.

Good for you for realising the best way to deal with it

LegacyUser

Yeah, hopefully i won't be still angry in a weeks time! I'm sure I won't be. I will get to see her this weekend so i'm looking forward to that.

As for getting fitter, firstly i'm not overweight or anything. I guess i'm just normal. In time i'll work towards a fitter body.

Eve_Dublin

French23 wrote: »

Of course it was innocent if it wasn't she wouldnt be publishing it on the web. Let it go!!! She was probably saying that to make her friend feel good about scoring a hottie. Honestly just let it go.

Yep, I would agree with this, OP. A lot of girls are like that if one of their friends scores and not necessarily even with a hottie. I know my friends and myself used to be like that (before we got into relationships)....if any of us pulled someone, we´d always tell her he was a bit of a hunk just to make her feel good. A bit like a support group....a lot of groups of girls (I´d say most) never tell their female friends their arse looks big in that dress, will ALWAYS tell them they look great and would NEVER tell them they scored a minger. Because she put it on Facebook, I´d say it was purely innocent and just one girl giving another a confidence boost. I honestly wouldn´t bring it up.

LegacyUser

Thanks Eve, actually now that you mention it my Gf's friend who was on holidays is recently just out of a long term relationship. So that could be it. I definitly won't be bringing it up. I don't know what I was thinking this morning and reading back over the post I started I feel like SOME idiot! I'm a bit stressed with work and other things at the moment so i'm guessing that's why i'm getting so worked up about this stupid matter.

Eve_Dublin

Unreg Poster wrote: »

Thanks Eve, actually now that you mention it my Gf's friend who was on holidays is recently just out of a long term relationship. So that could be it. I definitly won't be bringing it up. I don't know what I was thinking this morning and reading back over the post I started I feel like SOME idiot! I'm a bit stressed with work and other things at the moment so i'm guessing that's why i'm getting so worked up about this stupid matter.

I´d say that was most definitely the reason OP particularly if her mate is on the rebound and probably a little bit heartbroken and in need of some support from her mates. Don´t feel like an idot....we´ve all been there but you were the smart one to post up here first before firing accusations at your OH. As Shellyboo said, you can´t help those kinds of emotions but it IS important to spot when you´re being a little irrational, stop yourself in your tracks, try and sort those feelings out in your own head and choose your battles carefully. Picking someone up on something so irrelevant and petty could be the undoing of you both in the end.