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What to do when....

  • 06-09-2009 8:36pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi there,
    I would really appreciate advice on the following. All through school and colleage I always had a group of friends to hang out with. I am now in my 30s and lived abroad for a number of years. I would consider myself a nice and fun person who gets on well with others but often find myself at a loose end at weekends, holidays etc. Most of my friends are settled/married with kids and I am single. I find that I have little in common with these friends anymore. For example I would have loved to have gone to the electric pinic but would have had no one to go with. Should I have gone alone? I would love to meet a nice guy but also enjoy being single -it;s not so much fun however when you have no one to do stuff with. Sometimes I dread the weekend as I have no plans and might go until monday without spending time with another human being the loneliness is excruciating. People presume because I am free and single I am living it up all the time. I probably sound like I am having a right pity party but would love to know if other ever feel the same? if so any advive would be greatly received. What would you do in this situation? Thanks for reading.


Comments

  • #2
    SLUSK
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,156 ✭✭✭SLUSK


    if it is a boyfriend you want, online dating should do the trick.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    There is a great retro guide for single women called Live Alone and Like It by Majorie Hillis-you can get it in many bookshops or from Amazon. It's fun and has a lot of common sense for women in your situation. I bought it and laughed a lot-but also followed one of her pieces of advice, which is not to expect other married women to sort out your social life and that it is better to turn up to an event alone than stay in by yourself because you won't meet anyone at home! I went alone to many things and met current OH when I was contemplating another weekend alone, but decided to get out and meet people. It's also a great idea to plan your weekend in advance, even booking a facial or deciding to go to a museum-it is always better to be busy and out and about than moping at home!


  • #4
    dazberry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,152 ✭✭✭dazberry


    Yeah I'm in a similar boat, most of my friends are married and have kids, if not then they live abroad. Nothing happens spontaneously anymore, "passes" need to be arranged for the lads that are married.

    My first trick is to juggle people, so you get smaller but more frequent meetups. The second is to be proactive is keeping in contact with people because in their domestic bliss they have a tendancy to disappear for months on end otherwise. The third thing is hobbies, interests and study - I normally have enough things to keep my going thru' the weekends if I'm motivated.

    In one sence I am glad things have slowed down a bit - neither I nor my liver could do my 20s again, but I will admit that I miss the spontaneity from time to time.

    D.


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