are we going out?

LegacyUser

I met this guy while out with friends, we had this wild attraction thing going on,
we met again the next day and then other two times.

Awesome sex and he is incredibly good looking, we don't ask about each other much, we talked about general things, i think he is kinda interesting but either shy or there is something there that I don't quite get.

I don't understand where this is going, if its just sex, I can live with that but I would like to know what is he thinking and I don't know how.

All the times he is the one calling/texting but normally to meet up, met him last Friday btw.

Clues?

Contessa Raven

I'm sorry to say but you're gonna have to ask him yourself. Only you and he can decide where you want to take the relationship. Next time he texts asking to meet up try and bring up the topic. E.G. "Fancy going to X tonight?" you could reply with something like "Is this a date?" Something lighthearted so he doesn't feel pressured into anything.

Or even next time you meet up just ask him straight out. You won't know until you talk about it or he asks you out for definite.

star-pants

Have you guys slept together each time you've met up?
Why not ask about each other?

If you *want* to date him, then as above said ask him out on a 'date' only he can tell you what he thinks this is.

lolli

if you are going to have a relationship with this man you are going to have to be able to communicate so just come right out and as him where you stand.

LegacyUser

op here,

thanks for the answers.

I ll have to ask him next time he calls ( i refuse to call him, is this right? )

lolli

well if you continue that he might take it as a hint that you are not interested.

star-pants

Why would you refuse to call him?

LegacyUser

I honestly dont know , I think I fear rejection?

I m kinda out in the "game" for the first few times after 1 and a half year of getting over my really really long previous relationship and I m not quite sure how it all works .

I don't want to appear super eager(?) but maybe I ll give him a ring during the week after all he has been pretty nice.

entropi

OP, a phonecall is so much more mature and sincere...dont refuse to do it just pick up the phone and find out where the situation lies:)

LegacyUser

OP before you contact him, you need to work out what YOU want from this. You are waiting on him to say what he wants & you say that if it just sex "you can live with that", but what do you really want? Think it through before you have any conversation with him.

LegacyUser

I called him last night, i just talked about nothing in particular kinda saying hi

To be honest I don't know what i want out of it either, part of me thinks hes not suitable because we are not very similar on the other hand I would really like to try and see how it goes, as I said before I never started something based on attraction before and its probing quite interesting.
Even talking to him last night was good, but then I can see the part of me that wants to be with him more and I can see my dependency growing and I dont want that unless I can see the same thing from him
Sorry for babling here but I think I m trying to figure out how and what to do next

LegacyUser

OP I tried the attraction only thing lately, also thinking it would be interesting to try, but I found couldn't handle it. I discovered that I need an emotional attachment as well and I ended up getting hurt, because I got too close & it wasn't what he wanted.

Make sure you are capable of detaching emotion from attraction & sex if that's all he wants & you decide to go down this road.

LegacyUser

hi

Yeah, actually i ve been thinking and I dont think I m good for the attraction only thing. I need something with more substance.

Back to square 1 I guess.
Thanks for all the comments