Graduation Ball ...

vodkasoda

My son has finished Secondary School this year and is going on to college next week. At the end of this week, he has his Graduation Ball & has asked a local girl to go with him, she's not his girlfriend, he doubts that she ever will be (much as he'd like her to be !!!) and he's never met her parents.

He has been told by his friends that he has to buy the girls ticket, pay for her transport, buy her a present (perfume or jewellery) and a corsage, and also take wine, flowers and a box of chocolates to the girl's mum.

I'm just wondering if this is normal or if his mates are winding him up ?!?!?

He's only got a part time job & I am unemployed, so it's not like he can afford all this, or I can help him out !!! He's paid for her ticket and is sharing a limo with mates and is more than happy to do that; he's also happy enough buying her corsage and some flowers for her mum, but I think the rest of it, if it's true, is way over the top, especially in the circumstances ... we're not Irish so we don't know the rituals through experience.

Any advice would be appreciated ...

dazzday

Im assuming you are reffering to the Debs?

If so, you are certainly right about it being over the top!
From my own experience and from seeing brothers and sisters etc, the only real "rule" is if its your debs you buy the ticket for the person you are bringing.
Traditionally though its common to buy the girl you are bringing a corsage or rose and its always nice to buy flowers or chocolates for her mother (although this is needed unless you are picking her up at her house or you are meeting the parents).
Your son is already way ahead of the rest with the limo (most wont even bother picking the girl up and just ask to meet her in town/at the pub before the bus!)
No need for a present...especially if its not a girlfriend.

Most important thing to remember is its his debs and to enjoy it!

Suaimhneach

Definitely not meant for this forum. Will move to Parenting.

In my opinion, what your son is currently doing is standard and more than that is not required. Don't worry about it too much

January

Ticket and corsage are a must, especially if he asked her.

Flowers for mum are traditional only if he is meeting her parents before hand. Chocolates and flowers are not necessary! Flowers OR Chocolates will do!

A gift is not required for the girl he is bringing!

silja

Tickets and corsage are definitely traditional (make sure he aks what she is wearing, so he can get a corsage that matches in colour). Transport is common, but that is usually her being picked up and droped back home- a safety issue as wel. No limousine or anything neccessary, you driving them or a taxi they can take home to her hosue and then on to his is fine. Something else small for her (box of nice choccies or similar) is fairly common, but I have never heard of expensive jewellery or perfume being boiught, and I went to a quite snooty private school.

Gifts for mom I would say are not neccessary, though a bunch of flowers would certainly be appreciated and may also mark him as a "good boy" with the parents who never met him!

cuckoo

Bonus points if he can find out in advance from the girl if her mother has any particular flowers/chocs that she likes.

No need to go for anything too expensive, a nice bunch of flowers in good condition (ie not from the battered selection in the petrol station!) or a small box of nice chocs (maybe something like leoinidas/butlers? can get nice boxes there for around 7euro).

Would also impress the girl's parents if your son lets them know how they'll be getting home, "and i'll be dropping her home in a taxi".

A big part of collecting the girl may involve him posing for a photo with her in the front room/garden - i think everyone has one of those pictures from their own youth! Double bonus points if he offers to use the parents' camera to take a photo of her with them.

The Big Red Button

In my opinion, he should indeed pay for her ticket since he's inviting her.


Transport - I think it's only fair that he pays for the limo, as it's arguably an unnecessary expense and since it's not her debs too (I gather?) it's unfair to ask her to pay the additional costs.


Usually the boy will buy the girl a rose or corsage. Anything else is a bonus, however :

vodkasoda wrote: »

he has asked a local girl to go with him, she's not his girlfriend, he doubts that she ever will be (much as he'd like her to be !!!).

If he's trying to win her over, a thoughtful (not necessarily expensive!) gift would be a nice touch!

vodkasoda wrote: »

and also take wine, flowers and a box of chocolates to the girl's mum.

One of the above would be fine in my opinion! Maybe flowers or chocolates though rather than wine.


Hope it goes well for him!

oh well

as parent wit kids starting the debs dance talk, I have to say don't spend money on flowers and choc for the girl's mother, or the present for the girl unless she is a girlfriend as opposed to someone you are bringing along just as a partner. Really, in all honesty, its totally unnecessary and only became into practice during our "boom times". Be nice and polite and get the girl home safely - more of a consideration in my mind.

banshee_bones

Ticket yes because he asked her and a corsage, that really is about it! I have never seen any more than that! And I went to three debs!

vodkasoda

... we've convinced him that although his friends may not be winding him up, the situation was in danger of getting out of control !!!

He's bought the girl some perfume, mainly I think because he wants to impress , and he's going to give her mum some flowers, as we think that's nice & my wife would appreciate that ... I will certainly tell him to talk to her parents about (a) she will be getting dropped off home & (b) taking a photo of the 3 of them together.

Thanks again to you all for your advice ... it's appreciated and helpful, hopefully everything will go smoothly for him on Friday !!!!!

Suaimhneach

Thanks for updating.

vodkasoda

Suaimhneach wrote: »

Thanks for updating.

I have a million things to do every day ... I don't have a job yet I seem to have less time & more to do than ever before !!!

However, I'll always have time to thank people for their help and advice ... it's such a shame that the qualities I was imbued with seem to be pretty much fallen by the wayside these days !!!