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Hell - endothermic or exothermic?

  • 06-09-2009 2:18pm
    #1
    bustertherat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 64 ✭✭


    If the place 'Hell' does exist, do you think it is endothermic or exothermic. Please use science to support your answers (hint hint, boyles law ;))


Comments

  • #2
    deereidy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 123 ✭✭deereidy


    I'm sure you've seen this, but anyway :)

    Is Hell Endothermic or Exothermic?


    Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical Engineering Department,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions on final exams like: "Why do airplanes fly?"

    In May a few years ago, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer " exam paper contained the question:

    "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

    Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or similar. One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

    As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you
    are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than
    one of these religions, and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to
    Hell. With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.

    [Answer 1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature in Hell willincrease until all Hell breaks loose.

    [Answer 2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure
    will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it? If we accept the postulate (given to me by Teresa Banyan during freshman year) that "it'll be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and taking into account that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then [Answer 2] cannot be correct;
    ...... thus, Hell is exothermic.

    The student got the only A.


  • #3
    eZe^
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,046 ✭✭✭eZe^


    Take it you read that ancient humorous scientific article that was apparently a students exam answer? This is the one;
    "First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

    Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

    Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

    If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
    If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
    So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."


    Apparently he got the only A in the class, which I think is absolute bollix... :pac:



    EDIT - Damn you to exothermic hell deereidy!!! =P


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