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Ex confuses me

  • 05-09-2009 6:29pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    myself and ex broke up about a year ago - we remained in contact. He was/is very mixed about his feelings, saying he loves me and then not replying to my texts. I nearly always initiate contact. I text him last week and he replied to say he'll text me later - he was at a GAA meeting and was busy. A week goes by and he didnt text me. So I text last night and I got no reply. It makes me feel like an idiot when I get no reply. Should I just forget about him and not contact him again?? He says he loves me ( while drunk sometimes ) and then he cant be bothered to text me. I know he doesnt like texting but still!!! Any advice welcomed. Thanks :) Ps. He broke up with me.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Stop texting him! You're initiating all the contact and it's obvious that he's not interested. You need to cut contact with him now.


  • #3
    star-pants
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    unregistered wrote: »
    Stop texting him! You're initiating all the contact and it's obvious that he's not interested. You need to cut contact with him now.

    Pretty much it.
    He might still care about you, but not enough to want to be with you, or stay in regular contact. I'd say he's just responding when he feels like it/ when drunk etc. You make all the moves, he doesn't say much/doesn't respond. IF he was interested it wouldn't be one sided. Cut contact I'd say, will do you good


  • #4
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    OP you are his safety net and fall back position in a way. So when he feels sad and lonely after a few pints he sends you a text and calls you and it gets your hopes up.

    No he may not even realise this and admit it but it sure seems that way.

    When it comes to being fair and doing right by someone you also need to do right by yourself.

    So OP you need to write the script for you and what you want acknowledging that your ex is out of the picture.You need to acknowledge it as a fact to move on.


  • #5
    scouser19
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10 ✭scouser19


    CDfm wrote: »
    OP you are his safety net and fall back position in a way. So when he feels sad and lonely after a few pints he sends you a text and calls you and it gets your hopes up.

    No he may not even realise this and admit it but it sure seems that way.

    When it comes to being fair and doing right by someone you also need to do right by yourself.

    So OP you need to write the script for you and what you want acknowledging that your ex is out of the picture.You need to acknowledge it as a fact to move on.

    Totally agree with this 110%.....never truer words spoken... i've been there in the exact same situation, and my god is it easier said than done....but you have to try to move on, and the best of luck with it!


  • #6
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    scouser19 wrote: »
    Totally agree with this 110%.....never truer words spoken... i've been there in the exact same situation, and my god is it easier said than done....but you have to try to move on, and the best of luck with it!

    Its easy to tell them not to call you or text you especially after a few pints as thats not what you want. You broke up with me -so please leave me alone.


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  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    he text me at 1.30 last night to say 'sorry myname x' i guess sorry for not replying to my texts. I didnt reply. Im kinda getting fed up of being scraps for him. Should I just ignore it and not reply and move on???


  • #8
    rallye
    Closed Accounts Posts: 53 ✭✭rallye


    For you own sanity stop texting him.

    He dumped you so its him that is holding all the cards aka power!! If he wants you back its up to him to make the move, not you..

    So stop initiating contact with him, stop replying to his texts and let him feel what its like to be on the receiving end. By doing the above you will get one of two outcomes;

    1) He wont text back, and ye will both move on with your seperate lifes
    2) He will realise that maybe he does miss you and will start chasing you

    As humans we always want we cant have, at the moment for him you are laid out like a buffet table that he can pick at whenever he wishes..


  • #9
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    il probably get slated on boards for this but i sent him an email today to basically say i got his text - he only seems to contact me when he's drunk lately and i dont want to know anymore - we cant really be friends anymore as it wasnt really working. He probably wont reply but at least I said what i wanted to say. I want and deserve better :)


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