21 year old and 17 year old?

LegacyUser

Hi. I am a 21 year old and I was at a party the other night. A femal friend of mine was at it, she is 17, and I was sitting beside her. She was being chatted up by some other guys and I pretended to be her boyfriend so that the other guys wouldn't hit on her.

Then one guy said to prove that we were going out and to kiss each other. She said nothing, but I refused, presuming that it would be the wrong thing to do.

Later on, when she left, a friend of mine came over and said that she wanted to be with me. I was very surprised, and my initial reaction was of course to say no, as I am 21 and she is 17. But then everyone was saying how she wanted to be with me, and I didnt know what to think!

What should I have done? She is very attractive, she is funny, and I get on great with her, but I feel the age gap is too big. Should I have gone for it?

Terodil

You're treading very dangerous ground there.

The girl is 17, just barely meeting the age of consent. Is she really? or was she pretending to be 17? Because if she isn't you may end up in deep sh!t.

The reason why I'm even asking this is that the whole party sounds rather juvenile. You feeling the need to 'protect' that girl in a very 'manly' fashion, your friends demanding you to 'prove it' as if it were some kind of arena... in short: "wtf". It sounds as if you were all in full puberty.

I do not really think that you'd be responsible enough for a one-night-stand, let alone a more serious relationship. If you still want to go for it, at least make sure that you're both safe (i.e. bring condoms, and not in your back pocket!).

Edit/PS: Of course a relationship could work, the age difference itself is not a killer, it's more the maturity levels involved and the stages in life that you're both at that need to be compatible.

muboop1

firstly agree with guy who posted above me...

Secondly, at 17, is she still in secondary school?

If she is in secondary and you in college or working... it CAN(not always) make things particularly tricky.

Different life stages and all that!

Nervous Wreck

Unregistered wrote: »

I feel the age gap is too big.

Case closed.

Skapoot

I've seen a age 18 and him age 27 age gap work. Theyre still together two years on.

It was because he was not quite at peak maturity,

Id say it could work if you're not hitting 21 year old maturity yet, and you're willing to deal with a school girl who will be txting you saying how terrible it was that her mam didnt let her go out to see her friends, or that she got after school detention for eating chewing gum.

Good luck!

LegacyUser

I was 17 and my partner 27 when we first met. I had been living away from home for 6 months at that stage.At the beginning there were a few issues because of the age difference mainly caused by other peoples reactions to the age thing and my partner fearing that people thought he was a perv. We've been together 6 years now and don't even notice the age difference. Age is only a problem if you make it one.

Dean820

Go for it. If she's attractive and you get on then why not?

Wagon

Well, i don't go out with women below the age of 20. The maturity thing really gets in the way because 98% of the time if they are below that age, they are idiots.

SilverSparkle

When I started going out with my bf now of 3 years i was only just 17 and he was 21... go for it!

zero_nine

I say go for it definately. Its not fundamentally wrong, girls that age are gorgeous. If she's too immature and wrecks your head tho I'd leave it.

Peggypeg

Once she's over the age of consent, age shouldn't come into it. You've already said she's nice and you like her, go for it, if it turns out she's too immature or whatever you don't have to continue seeing her. I'd say go with the flow.

kjl

ok, fine maybe a 30 26 gap would be ok, but its different at that age.

but come on mate, grow up, shes only a kid. Meet someone your own age, and when you are older you can meet up with her again

Piste

Do you really like her? Cos if you do, and you already know her well enough to know she wont wreck your head then go for it! There's nothing wrong with it at all, though you may have to put up with some slagging from your friends.

LegacyUser

I was just turned 18 when i started going out with my current boyfriend and he was 21.
I was still in school, 6th year, and we were friends also before we started going out.
never caused any problems, we have a much more mature relationship than any couples of the same age that i would be friends with.
girls are generally a little more mature than their age anyway so i'd say if you like her then go for it.