Cant Take Anymore

LegacyUser

Hi All,

Looking for some advice been with my GF for 8 years now and we have moved in together just over a year now anyway things have gone mental lately. I think she is a clean freak take today for instance I cut the grass and did two laundries and she made the dinner and hoovered and then freaked because apparently she asked me to hoover 2 days ago. I do my fair share in the house and it is always completely spotless but there seems to be no end to the petty picking holes in what I do, I dont think I can live like this.

Are all relationships supposed to be like this its like we live in a showhouse to be honest.

She has now packed her stuff and moved to her mothers I feel like the worst bloke in the world because normally she is great but then I look around and see how spotless our place is and reality kicks in i'm not lazy or anything like that.

LegacyUser

was just thinking of another simple example lets say she goes to work before me in the morning and I make the bed etc... have no problem with that but if the reverse was to happen she has to make a point of saying it to me immediately. same with washing up she will leave stuff over and i will do it no problem but if the other was to happen she would throw it back in my face a few days later this cannot be normal can it

Dizzyblonde

I think it all adds up to the fact that she's just not happy and it's manifesting itself in her picking on you over little things. You need to talk.

finbarrk

It looks like ye aren't really suited tbh. I couldn't stick someone like that anyway. How did it take 8 years to find out btw?
And, if she is that way now, she will be worse when ye get married.

SheRa

OP id bet that this has very little to do with the hoovering. id say that she is upset over something else. talk to her.

LegacyUser

nothing to do with housework.
Talk to the girl. Someone once said to me that when you move in with a person " you go through phases of hating them for various reasons". Has she lived away from home before? If not, that's a bit part of it too - I have a friend who used to hoover twice a day and go mad if there was a spot anywhere when she first moved out. Her boyfriend eventually calmed her down a bit and persuaded her that twice a week was okay, things don't have to be perfect all the time.
Having said that, some women just like things to be perfect. You need to find a compromise on that one. Split the jobs. You hoover one week, she does the next. You make the bed if she washes the clothes and alternate week to week. That's what we do - the one condition is that you can't criticise the other person about what they're doing and how they do it (get a system in place for how to do stuff - helps and saves rows!!!). I don't always agree with how my boyfriend does stuff but at least he's doing it!
If she's been living with you a year and this is only fairly recent, then it may just be a phase. But you've got to talk to her. Camly and rationally.