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Concerned about new girl .... What to do?

  • 03-09-2009 6:15pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    ive been seeing this new girl for about a month or so. Im in my 20s but she is only 18 and people have told me that this makes a big difference. Im interested in her but not overly so and i think that she likes me more than i like her. We have had sex and all that and it is amazing but i just dont want her to get too attached to me and after we had sex a few times she said that she wanted to go out and ive sort of left her hanging a bit.

    Dont really want to go out with her as ive just come out of a serious relationship and just looking for some fun but still really want to keep having sex with her casue its just fantastic but at the same time dont want to string her along.

    If I tell her this I think she would feel a bit used and dont really want her to think that cause I told her at the start not to get too attached but maybe she has.

    Glad of any advice.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I think u should tell her, even if she does feel a bit used or upset its much better to be straight with her so she knows where she stands. I dont think the age is a big difference tbh, are u in your early or late 20's? But yea pls try not to string her along because ive has this happen to me a few times and its really horrible!


  • #3
    VaioCruiser
    Closed Accounts Posts: 750 ✭✭✭VaioCruiser


    OP - you are in a quandary because you don't seem to know much about where sex and relationships mix yet. If you like this girl at all you will end it nicely and move on, and allow her to find a nice guy she can care about. If you have contempt for her you will continue taking advantage of her for your own narrow and selfish reasons.


  • #4
    opinion guy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,001 ✭✭✭✭opinion guy


    yes are you 21 or 29 cause thats a big difference

    So ur assuming she's not grown up enough to deal with this. Why not credit her with some maturity and be as honest and straight up with her as you have been with us ? Tell her how you feel about it. Maybe she is falling in love with you - but maybe she is just enjoying some great sex too. BUT the point is you don't know till you talk to her about it.

    Basically I see your choices as thus:
    1) dump her. she'll probably be really hurt and heart broken. I don't think you want to do that to her.
    2) keep things going as is and see where it leads. hey maybe you;ll get married and have kids, maybe you'll string her along for a while, maybe she'll string you along for a while....who knows ?
    3) Talk to her about it. Yes she might be upset - but thats better than just dumping her where she will definitely be upset. Plus by talking with her you get to hear where she sees things going too, you both get to make a decision together about where you see things going and the odds of you guys remaining on good terms whatever you decide will go way up.

    This seem logical ?


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I think you should personally end it, if you care for her any bit. Better to end it now before she falls even deeper for you. But speaking from a girls perspective, next time you become involved with a someone make sure from the outset you state what you consider the relationship to be. Just a little bit of thought could spare a person's feelings. Good luck


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