bfdrinks2much

LegacyUser

Hi all, im going unreg for this.
im with my bf over a year now, i love him to bits but im worried about his drinking.
he's 26 and i feel he drinks too much, he will go out at least 2 nights of every week end and will usually have a mid week trip to the pub. he's been away for the last few days with some friends and he told me that he was drinking until 7 this morning, and i know tonight will be the same. now one of his friends that he's with def has a drinking problem, my bf would even say that. ive brought this up with my bf, not directly as such but after a binge id say to him that his liver wont be in good shape etc. now i drink myself but im a very light drinker and wont even drink every week end. he's gotten so drunk on occassions that he doesnt know where he is. i think his mother may have a drink problem, his family are known for been able to drink alot( i'd be embarrassed by this but he isnt, i think it very immature to boast about how much you can drink)
i just worry about him, its not that i dont want him to have fun, he's a great guy but i think this could become a major problem for him down the road.
i come from a family where my mother was on the verge of becoming an alcoholic when i was young, ive awful memories of it and so im very aware of the problems it can cause. my father doesnt drink at all.
i really need some advice, am i over reacting?

Jo King

You are not overreacting. Heavy drinking coupled with a history of drink troubles in the family spell big trouble. It does happen that some people drink a lot when they are younger and then gradually wind down. In the case of your boyfriend he does not recognise that he has a problem The likelihood is that this will get worse over time and cause untold misery. He is still young enough not to show serious damage due to drink but another five or six years of this would be ruinous. You should consider your position.

R.D. aka MR.D

if it is bothering you then you need to tell him.

You need to explain to him how it is effecting the relationship.

Ask him if he thinks its a good thing that his drinking is effecting his relationship.

All you can do is explain your concerns and if there is no change then you need to consider your position. do you want to be with some one who drinks too much.

I don't think talking to some one about their health is really effective at our age because, well we're adults. He needs to see the emotional effect it's having.

fabbydabby

Unfortunately, the culture in this country is such that it is heroic to consume industrial quantities of alcohol. In countries like France, people kind of look down on you if you get so wasted you don't know what you are doing. In Ireland, that is the state that people seem to aim for.

I have more than one friend who gets completely p1ssed out of their brains at least twice a week (including a midweek session). They think that consuming alcohol of a similar quanitity and quality as would degrease an engine block is a big laugh and scoff at me if I bring up how bad this is for them, so I don't bother, but I really don't like seeing my mates doing such damage to themselves.

OP, if you look at the guideline healthy alcohol intakes online for men and women, you'll see that your lad's level of drinking is not normal or healthy, both physically or mentally. You are not over reacting.

Can't advise you how to broach the subject though. If he's anything like my mates, he'll just tell you to fk off.